What would you put in DATING THREAD 101....

[tanyadm]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP.

Im having a lovely conversation with some one from tinder

lacoba I'm really pleased Diamond has come up trumps and things have sorted themselves out. We all do silly things at times! Onwards and upwards, hopefully together

My silver fox iron is to be short lived, I just can't bring myself to keep chatting to him. Am I being fussy? This is one of his messages exactly as written..

A daughter in Berlin I play golf I go to the gym I do pub quizzes as a host and acting as a hobby
We are neighbours I am in #^+ town center there are many strange people on here I am not one of them I am normal

Quick update and dash.

Afternoon coffee date with mrtattoo went really well. Definite spark. Lovely guy. We shall hopefully have date 2!

lastnicknamefree thank you- I hope so, as he's pretty awesome and very considerate in ALL ways *grin].

Mr silver fox sounds like hard work, or very distracted... Are all his messages like that?

Toosassy glad to hear there's some spark with Mr Tattoo.

Lacoba That's good about Diamond. The course of true love and all that...

Sassy Yay re MrTattoo! Has he got lots?

Handy Sorry you are not feeling well but aw to Twix coming round and you not being bothered how you look...tis a good sign I think.

Anna Is there potential for you perhaps wanting to jump his bones at some point in the future? If not, I hope you are at least having a nice evening.

I can't even be bothered swiping on Tinder anymore. Jaded with the whole thing to be honest. I'll see how things pan out with Bacon and then take a proper break I think. I've been so busy and it's actually been really nice to focus on something other than bloody men!

Opinions please ladies.

Date today: drink in pub then to a restaurant then to the cinema. Over 4 hours in total. Yet he seemed very disappointed and hurt at the end when I said I needed to go home (made an excuse about having work to do, but really I was tired). Isn't 4 hours long enough for a date? It was date #2 btw.

It got worse! After the weird, non punctuation and whole long one sentance message (to which I didn't reply because I didn't know how to respond) he started sending me "where have you gone" "you just disappeared" and "what did I do wrong" so I unmatched him pronto!!

geordie was waiting for your update! Man in the woods/Russian guy right?
Ermm that's weird! I mean for date 2 I'd say that was very long anyway! Drinks, meal AND cinema? What more did he expect or is that a silly question....

I hope he wasn't shirty with you?

4 hours is plenty long enough for a 2nd date! And laying on the guilt when you wanted to go is not on...how was the rest of the date?

Weirdest tinder profile ever just came up for me!! Had to share it with you.
First photo is the cover of 50 shades of grey book. 2nd picture is a flogger and handcuffs on a bed 3rd picture is of bloke in a suit with the camera covering his face. 4th photo picture of extra large condoms wrappers! His profile message reads "have you been a naughty girl?"

So muddling which way did you swipe?

I'm not sure tbh! He's mice but I'm not smitten. We're going for a drink somewhere else in a minute so maybe hell relax a bit

4 hours is plenty BUT cinema could have taken up 2 1/2 of that so only 1 1/2 where you could actually talk - I'd prefer to spend early dates doing something where we actually interact and get to know each other.

Back from cooking class. Fun event, nobody I wanted to see again. Some of the women were fun and if I were looking for new friends it'd be a good place to find them.

I guess whether it puts you off or not should be whether he was disappointed-but-polite or disappointed and acted like him being disappointed was your problem.

I swiped left last nearly spat my drink out over my phone though

Well that went quite well. He certainly wanted more and was hinting for going back to mine but I told him that was not on the table. Will probably see him again. He might be even more left wing than me though, which is pretty unheard of!

Update

If I block someone on OKCupid, can they see the last message I send to them?
Or do I disappear entirely.

I'm feeling like sending a bunch of replies to people who I don't actually want to talk to...

Hello how's you how comes a good looking girl like u is single I would love to get to no u more hun x x
If you assume that all good-looking people who are single have something wrong with them, then presumably you are either bad-looking or you have something wrong with you too.
(not kind, I know)

Hi
You should know that most women on here get a lot of messages, so you'd do better if you wrote a specific message for each woman you send a message to. One that says something about her profile so she knows it's not copied and pasted would work best.
(a bit kinder)

TheDatingDoofus how did you turn him down on the "coming back to yours" hint? Subtle or not so subtle? How did he react?

Geordie I would personally not want to be called for a quick chat.

I would want him to understand that I had had enough for today and wanted to be alone.

But I'm a sociable introvert, which sometimes confuses people (I like doing sociable things, but it drains my energy so I need alone time).

Trills awesome replies. Really tempted to give a few of those a go myself.

I know some posters have read the book "mr unavailable and the fallback girl''. Is it worth buying? There's another book called deeper dating which talks about repetitive dating. Different face, same man. I used to think I needed to avoid getting in to an abusive relationship but that would never happen to me. The one and only abusive relationship I had was right after I was dumped by a free spirited unavailable type and I was so fed up with it I allowed myself to get locked in by a controlling man. The pattern I keep repeating is that I end up attached to men who aren't available, to commit. Not married. Never been there. But here I am. Feeling really close to a man who says he doesn't want a relationship and lives two hundred miles away. He must have his own issues to seek out relationships with people who live miles away and are dating other people, but that's his business. I need to recalibrate something in my head. Why do I find Bear's company so soothing and attractive. I should feel so insulted! He could have me, but he doesn't want me!!!! I need to be turned off by this. But I feel very relaxed. Not upset. Anyway, I'm rambling but who here has read the book!? Any wisdom to pass on?

Trills I think I too am a sociable introvert. I was knackered after the 4 hour date and have now told him so. He's sweet and handsome but there were some awkward silences on both dates. Normal early on?

I've just paid 80 dollars to elite singles and it hasn't given me a single match and I can't seem to do my own search! so that was money well spent!
Got sick of the riff raff on pof though!