What would you put in DATING THREAD 101....

[tanyadm]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP.

It was something along the lines of
"What shall we do next?"
"Actually... er... I think we should leave it here. I don't think this is going to go anywhere and I don't want to waste your time. Sorry."

I felt really bad for about 5 minutes, then I felt really GOOD because I had the rest of my afternoon to do what I liked with.

anna you must share your patented method for getting rid of the perves

I often swipe someone and when they message I think 'Um no, not my type' I am a spelling and grammar bitch though.

trills what did you have with the gins? I'm obsessed with it even though drinking it makes me

One gin was with a raspberry, one with a blackberry, one with basil leaves and one with a spring of rosemary and a twist of lemon peel.

The berries didn't really add much TBH - you need something that you can actually smell.

I definitely prefer having "something to do" rather than just having a drink and talking.

Tonight I'm off to the singles cooking class so will have plenty to do there.

At least it have you something to talk about though. I like gin with lavender.

Cooking class sounds good. Hope it us fun. Im going for a meal with my best friend tonight after 5 days of solo parenting my 3dcs. I'm going to be so excited at the prospect of talking to an adult I've had to pre warn her to tell me to shut up.

Trills, I agree, it's ten minutes of excruciating awkwardness followed by a liberating feeling of pure relief.

a singles cooking class sounds good!

Nannys have PMed you. Send me deets of the Facebook page please.

Shame Why is Tinder your favourite? The whole concept seems superficial to me. Hmmm

Trills How did you manage to finish the date after just one drink? Also, what was your reason?

muddling What a rude twat for telling you to shush!

I've got my second date with WoodsMan today. Meal then cinema. Feeling giddy excitement mixed with fear of disappointment. He's my favourite iron.

Trills just seen your post. So, how did he take it? teehee

The reason for the date that finished after just one drink was that I just didn't fancy him, and knew I was never going to. He was OK to talk to, and took it well enough I suppose. I didn't exactly hang around.

Geordie the reason I like Tinder is that nobody can message you unless you have said yes to them. So no annoying messages from people you'd never consider. Also it's surprising how much you can tell "I would like to talk to this person" vs "I would not like to talk to this person" from 3 or 4 pictures and a short description. It's no more shallow (and in fact you have more information) than if someone approached you in a bar.

geordie you have all my sympathies with the man subtracting a whole decade + from his age! what is the POINT!!

OK, in May, I'll give tinder a shot. I'm taking April off. Too much real life!

Tinder is ok just a bit disheartening when you have a match then it disappears even before you send a message.

Okay, I shall leap into Tinder properly. I guess I was put off by the stigma of using it (it's got rep as a hookup app, right?)

What does that mean? that they like your face but when they see your age and that you have dc they unmatch?

Shame I'm the same regarding spelling and grammar. It's becoming quite sad that correct use of your/ you're is one of the most attractive qualities a man can have

Trills I prefer tinder too for that reason, I've already filtered the men before the messaging. OKC was dire in my area and I lasted 12hrs. The pleading 'please talk to me messages' it was a soul destroying free for all of desperation mixed with lewd messages.

The second date with Crumpet is planned. I'm going to go tonight and get to know him more, I get the impression he's holding back but I'll get more of an idea tonight. The chemistry was so good the other day, I hope it's the same tonight. Jollyp I think I served mooseburgers to Crumpet the other night and we didn't dtd. It was more of an offering of emotional intimacy during the long date and looking back a shorter date with more suspense for him to look forward to would have been better. Sex doesn't always have to equal mooseburger serving although it sometimes does. I prefer getting naked fairly early on as I want to be sure we are compatible in all areas. Imagine waiting weeks and realising a man is terrible in bed.

My other two irons are on the back burner for now, both live a long way from me so it's difficult to make plans but the chatting is a good distraction. I was honest with another tinder match about my policy of chatting with a few men at once and he was horrified! He said he felt like he was in competition for some kind of prize! Well, erm, you are...

foxtrot I am TERRIBLE for the your/you're, their/there/they're judging. I actually complimented someone on their correct use of 3 dot ellipses (...) the other day. The wanton use of ............... Drives me insane. If they Hun me, well I'm not nice (they get a very sarcastic reply nevermind how lovely their face is) I hold my hands up to being a bitch though I'm with you about the early sex too, I always make sure I'm safe and everything. But sex is really important to me and if it's rubbish I just can't keep going. Plus, I hold no guilt about having sex if I want it. It is 2016.

geordie Tinder. Hmm, I don't know. It's just far and away my favourite. It's free (Yorkshire again), I don't get messages from guys who I wouldn't even consider and it has a lot of my type on there (alternative, beards, tattoos etc.) It used to be hook ups but is extending now. I know a few couples who met through tinder.

I'm like that too foxtrot if you're not sexually compatible then what's the point? Best to find out early on, I try n wait til third date but have DTD on first date before.

Well, I just got talking to an ex soldier on tinder quite phwoarrrgh and I asked if he wanted to meet and he said yes..result I'm not stuck in on my night off. Wish was going with MrBeard tho

Ooh foxtrot good luck tonight with your crumpet! Looking forward to seeing now this one pans out as you sound quite positive so far
geordie good luck with your Russian "woodsman" hope to goes as well as you hope, I know he is your favourite Iron!

Another vote for tinder here, I only joined yesterday but love it! Am on POF and OKC but bet than the latter, and prefer the way you don't get hundr DS of messages from men you wouldn't never talk to as on POF. I also get quite a buzz from swiping along merrily then MATCH! It's like bingo

Best topics to talk about on a date?

GO!

I'm getting lots of texts today from Mr Funny, which is good, so hopefully the moose burgers haven't put him off!

Geordie

I have a few stock first date questions.

1. How have you found this online dating thing then? I tell them about my horrendous first ever tinder date. that opens them up.
2. Have you siblings? And where are you in sibling order (oldest etc).
3. Have you ever been arrested and what for?
4. Do you like avocado? (this is a dealbreaker for me).

Shame horrendous first ever tinder date? Do tell!

Geordie I like to talk about travel. Favourite place they have visited, where they have lived, etc. What was the food like there. Is there somewhere they've always wanted to go, but never have. (I tend to take it all with a pinch of salt though because a lot of people will say "Oh I'd love to visit Madrid for the museums and art galleries" but actually their ideal destination is Marbella with the lads )

"What's the worst job you've ever had" can be a good one as well.

Shame

Avocado dealbreaker

You need to tell us about this horrendous date now.