What would you put in DATING THREAD 101....

[tanyadm]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP.

Shameandregret I'm 42 ( maybe I should lie) and have a range of 35-45. Maybe that's too limiting but I don't see the point in dating someone I'm not attracted to and older just doesn't do it for me. I can pass for younger than I am and have a younger age group of friends. Maybe I'm immature! Also a single mum.

Lacoba "Would you like to come to mine tonight" sounds suspiciously like "...because I'd like to shag you again before you dump me for good", but maybe that's my nasty cynical mind!

Batshit What a disappointment, but at least he made his cockishness clear early on!

To those on OKC and POF: Ticking the boxes for "casual dating" or "short term dating", or having any reference to "looking for fun" in your profile will get you an absolute swathe of hookup merchants. Might be worth tweaking your settings before you write the sites off completely, since after all they are free!

That said I've never had anything decent from POF at all. But I might be prejudiced since I found my ex's profile on there. While we were still together

Harriet well done on the date. Where are you meeting?

Harriet where are you going?

I've just had to block G on my phone - even after my 'there was no spark for me' text, he was begging me to go to his house and he would prove there was???? Bloody hell.

Quick check in. lacoba I agree with datingdoofus re the invite tonight

We are going for a drink and then followed by a meal (casual sort of place, nothing too posh!) and then for more drinks.

Just checking in to say Bon voyage waving and lacoba I think you've done the right thing.

Toosassy & datingdoofus that had crossed my mind....

I've told him that if he wants to talk, then he can come to my area (not house) tomorrow and we can meet for a coffee . We'll see what response that gets.

Bat well done on the blocking - he sounds a bit deranged

Harriet woo hoo on the date, but like the others say- where are you going? I'm a jeans and fancy(ish) top gal for most things, unless it's a posh meal .

Harriet I'd probably go with jeans and a smart top and shoes. I think if you go with the full on dress on a first date it can look like you're trying too hard, if you know what I mean?

Anyone know anything about match? Can you only see who likes you by paying?

lacoba let us know what he says re the coffee. It's just a shame he's left it all do up in the air for you

Lacoba That's definitely the right plan with Diamond.

Harriet My default 1st date outfit is also jeans (skinny, dark) with nice top. I keep the really nice stuff for 2nd and 3rd dates...though those have been thin on the ground...

Shame Yeah, I think most useful things on match you have to pay to see...

shame I think you have to pay for everything on Match. I don't know whether you can send messages for free but you only get responses if you pay.
Round my way the same people are on POF and Match so POF is a no-brainer.
I don't know whether this is still true but I know that in the past some of the profiles on Match were fake to boost numbers, hits and maintain interest.
Men I know who've used it get a lot of messages on it from Russian brides.
As you can tell, I'm not a fan.

I'm back from a night with Captain Pugwash.
We had the talk about me being the biggest woman he's ever slept with and as predicted he was very apologetic and mortified.
I had a great night but now I'm home I'm just not feeling it. I may feel differently after I've had a sleep!
I'm going to set up a POF profile, I've been meaning to do it anyway, I'll see if I can stoke some irons.
Tinder matches are thin on the ground because I live out in the sticks.

Harriet on a first date I have a couple of go-to dresses that are smart but not revealing. Jeans and a smart top are often recommended but I feel too scruffy in jeans, I don't own a smarter pair!
Wear what you feel comfortable in.

anna yes very unimpressed with match. I'm too tight to pay for it

Is Captain Pugwash the size 10 is big guy? No wonder you are not feeling it! What date number are you in with him?

Harriet wear whatever you think is comfortable. I would say, after my experience last night, that a long date for a first date is not a great idea!

Oh and good luck with POF! Get ready for the onslaught

shame yes, Captain Pugwash is the size 10 is big guy. Last night was date no 5, he wants to meet me again tomorrow night but I think I need a break to have a think about it so I'm going to cancel. then the earliest I could do would be Tuesday which gives me time.
It's not the size 10 comment that's given me pause, he was lovely last night and genuinely contrite about the comment. I'm not sure what it is but there's something niggling away at me.

POF will be fine. I've donned my hard hat

I paid for match and am not anymore! Rubbish!

Anyone had luck with Eharmony or elite singles?

anna. Pof on a weekend is an interesting place to be get ready for it 😉

HandyWoman WoodsMan was very willing to meet at the cinema when I suggested switching location. My friend and I suspect he just has a black sense of humour. Still a little bizarre to say that to a woman after only one date.

Going to try a meetup.com group for single people tonight. We're meeting in town. Wish me luck!

We had the talk about me being the biggest woman he's ever slept with

He said WHAT?! Why did you see him again after that?

And how did he explain why he said it?

cleo I'm deeply unimpressed with Match.

anna let us know what you think about POF! If your gut feeling is feeling something is a bit off listen to it. I think a break from captain is a good idea.

mrmath is being quiet today but prob because we have firmed up Sunday's date already and he's working. My casual date guy is back from his holiday with his kids tomorrow and we usually hook up on a Sunday. I'm not telling him I'm going on a date as MrMath is only date 2 so I don't want to burn my bridges but I still feel bad (that is stupid isn't it?!) he is clearly a IDWAR so I should stop the guilt.

Hi all. Another smitten one saying on the thread for positive vibes. For anyone who don't know, I've been with gentle for 2 months now and we are inseparable.

A big hi there and hello to newbies. And good luck to all.

Don't take any shit..
Remember you are very much the prize...
And if a date is shit, don't get down just repeat my mantra of "onwards and upwards" My mother has lived her life by this and it seems to have kept her sane