What would you put in DATING THREAD 101....

[tanyadm]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP.

Morning Waving! Just want to wish you a wonderful, fun, romantic Spanish date 5!!!!

Enjoy!!!!!

Quick check in. waving have an AMAZING time, we're here for you! You'll have a fab fab fab time! Xx

Have a fabulous time Waving

My date last night with N was disappointing - his pic was taken at a flattering angle, he was a bit overweight, not as attractive and arrogant. He liked the sound of his own voice, and was slightly derogatory about my job, the place that I worked, and my hobbies :-/ He has texted a couple of times since - to check I got home okay and a goodnight text. I think he isn't sure if I like him or not!

Sent a thanks but no thanks text to G, and have had a flurry of messages asking why

last there was much last minute adjusting of sunglasses etc as his hand "accidentally" brushed mine, but he kept on trying! It was hideous, and we'd gone for a walk, so there was no way to cut short. So I just had to say in the end, I'm really sorry, I'm enjoying your company as a friend but there's no spark for me. There was then a bit of very British to'ing and fro'ing with apologies and it's quite alright'ing, and we carried on walking!! I tried extra hard to keep the conversation flowing after that!! The silly thing is, we have quite a lot in common really, so once that was out of the way the tension dropped and the conversation was better! Would quite happily see him again as a friend, but there was just no spark for me in the light of day.

Waving have fun in Madrid!

Roland I think you might be nearish to me! (Gwynedd)

Good luck with the weekend dates to all those who have them! I am also iron free now, although have just started chatting to a guy on Tinder who told me he was an undertaker before admitting to working in IT so hopefully he will become an iron before too long!

So, I feel last night was a waste of a dress/money (food was crap, too), and I've learned not to spend a long time (4 hours with G) on a first date if I'm not sure ....

Onwards!

Have a fabulous, fabulous time Waving! So excited for you!

Sorry it was underwhelming Batshit - was it more disappointing because there had been a big buildup? Always best to meet soon & not plan for dinner unless it goes really well...

Hope you got up & away Waving hope its lovely :)

I only started chatting to N on POF on Sunday, so no huge build up!

Waving, can't believe you're going to Madrid! How exciting! Enjoy!

Ida and Bat, shame your dates didn't go well but onwards and upwards!

Well, I'm still dating this thread for now as I'm still living with my ex husband for the time being which isn't great.

Any more dates tonight? It's Friday!

Batshit you had to meet to see how they were in RL - arrogant & disparaging about yr job, hobbies etc? Good to find out quickly he's an idiot! Just maybe don't agree (expensive) dinner for first date another time...I assume about 1.5 hrs drink unless it goes well - with M it was 4.5 hrs as we got on so well....

waving have fun, how exciting!

I have date 2 tonight with Mr Funny who I like but not sure I fancy. I have a history of this though - not finding people physically attractive until I've got to know them better - so we'll see what happens.

I'm also still chatting on whatsapp to Mr Serious, who remains serious, and his messages don't show anything of his personality at all. Either he's not great at messaging, or he has no personality! We've arranged to meet in a couple of weeks (delayed by holidays) so time will tell.

Ida....I'm in Gwynedd....
Be good to have your insight on dating in Gwynedd.
Waving... Have a fab holiday

I have a date with Mr Welsh tonight

Had to tell Mr nice I dident want a 3rd date

Onwards and upwards

waving am so excited for you, have an amazing time!
bat how disappointing, 2 rubbish dates in a row... Boo! Anything else lined up?
ida sorry your date wasn't any good either
jolly good luck with mr funny tonight! Love stalking the thread when people are out on dates. I think I would have got bored with mr serous by now

Morning everybody!

Waving have a brilliant time!

Batshit how disappointing but at least you didn't spend ages texting and building it up before finding out. Ida I'm also relatively iron free now

So I don't know what to do about Crumpet. We agreed at the end of what seemed like a very good date that we would meet this Saturday but no firm plans. He's not mentioned anything on the few chatty texts yesterday. I have that awful gut feeling that for some reason he's changed his mind. Which obviously he's allowed to do. I'm preparing myself for a ghosting.

I'm trying to take positives away from this - I had some rather nice snogging, I'm getting a thicker skin and it's building my confidence and high value esteem - I'm thinking from the angle of this is obviously not good enough for me rather than what's wrong with me.

Good thinking Fox

Good luck Waving!

Gin date tonight.

Sorry in advance, but this is gonna be a bit of a 'me' post .

Soooo, Mr Diamond eventually replied to my text (2 days later) saying that he wasn't ignoring me, but was giving me some space/time, but "speak soon".

Well we did speak that evening (Wednesday) and I told him exactly what my terms were- as in I realised it was still early days (3 months) but he had led me to believe that he wasn't on any dating sites, but turns out he was. Told him that I was upset, because he had taken away my right to an informed choice i.e if I knew, then I certainly wold not be sleeping with him.

He apologised again and swore blind that he had not messaged anyone, but only opened the app when he got a notification that someone had viewed him . He wanted to do more talking face to face (not a great talker on the phone) and asked if he could see me this weekend- I agreed.

Well, I lost it this morning as not heard/had any firm plans from him, so have told him I'm done!

Sick of feeling like 'last minute.com' .

Don't know if I've been a bit 'knee jerk' reactive ( & a bit pissed off with myself, that I haven't kept my cool but God, he's annoyed me!!

Waving have a fantastic time - you deserve it!!

Lacoba I guess its yr gut feeling that its not worth waiting to talk f2f?

waving have a brilliant time in Madrid. It is a brilliant city!

trills gin bar is a brilliant sounding date. Although I dread to think how I would be on it, gin makes me morose.

lacoba how many dates have you had with your guy? 3 months in and you have kept your cool until now? You have done really well!

lacoba you've given him a chance, I don't blame you for telling him like it is. You're allowed to be annoyed!

I've definitely learned that a coffee/tea first date is best for me (I can't drink without food as well), and to keep it short, so the last two disappointing dates have at least taught me that, to look on the positive side!

Have two new possibles on OKC (not given either a name yet) and a work colleague has been recommending quietish places to go for a quick date close to where I work, so I'm getting myself organised.

MrM and I have agreed to meet next week - but he still hasn't done the where/what time thing ....

Ocelot it's not that I don't want to do a f2f. I just want him to come along with a 'firm' date- day/time/ plan of action...

Shame we've been seeing each other 2-3 times a week. He lives over 50 miles away, so not possible to see each other more, and to be fair that's enough for me anyway.

He's now messaged and said "would you like to come to mine tonight?". Is it a bloke thing, or are we just not communicating too well at the mo?

Enough of me..

Trills the Gin bar sounds great, but I'm like Shame as in Gin makes me lol.

Jolly sorry to hear about the shit dates, but at least you're still going for it.

Handy so pleased to hear that you and Twix are still on course .

lacoba I think you should go to his tonight if you don't have plans. Text communication is bloody awful for miscommunication. No tone, non verbal to pick up on. F2f will reassure you one way or the other.

I do think if you have been seeing each other that frequently and for that amount if time you are well within your rights to establish if he is sleeping with others for your own health. You are spot on about informed choice.

I have a date sunday :) I haven't been on one in three years! split up from my boyfriend in September and this is my first date since. I am useless but I am fretting what to wear - dress or jeans and a cami? Such a pathetic question but I am fretting

Batshit I'm going to copy your keep it short way of dating. I think I overdid it recently with the two dates with Rescue and Crumpet. With Crumpet it extended into dinner because it felt good and natural. And look how that turned out