What would you put in DATING THREAD 101....

[tanyadm]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP.

Meant to add good luck to those on dates...

Anna, the size ten comment would definitely put me off. I'm a size ten and whenever I put on a few pounds my abusive ex husband used to take great pleasure in grabbing the little bit of fat I had round my middle and telling me I was getting fat! Bastard!

Harriet, where are you going on your date? I would probably wear jeans and a nice top if I was going to the cinema or a pub and a dress if I was going to the theatre or out to dinner. As long as the outfit is smart/casual and is flattering and comfortable, I don't think it matters.

Re our recent discussions on this thread concerning the fact that men are always looking for younger women,; I'm pleased to report that having had a quick look at some of the female profiles of women in my age group on POF (I'm 51 but pretending to be 47 ) that they too are looking for younger partners. If fact, a lot of women seem to be looking at men in the age range of 7 years younger up to two or three years older whereas a lot of the men are looking in the age range of 10 years younger (or more!) up to two years younger than their actual age if that makes sense. So as much as most men would like to find themselves a younger partner, most of them are not going to get one!

Oh Nanny I could do with some of those +ve vibes...

No new irons despite lots of swiping but am having a slight conversation with a guy whose too far away really & inclined to ask abut meeting or not because otherwise can't be ard carrying on - its hardly scintillating stuff... I'm hoping ths can count towards my 10 with 314 :)

Been out last 4 nights so should welcome a night in & catching up on sleep... if not for my unruly thoughts... :(

Yes, I have a real life friend who is 6'3", full head of hair, good teeth, 49 and he is trying to date women 38 ish and having NO luck. I've had more dates.

ocelot it's a numbers game. And positive vibes never go a miss.
Gentle was just saying yesterday that he couldn't belive his luck. He's only ever had 3 long term relationships. (One a 16 year marriage) then he found me after 4 other dates. So it can be done. (Not that im blowing my own trumpet of course) It's just about meeting that compatible, like minded person. Without any games or bullshit.

Never deal in games or bullshit.

I'm 39 and I have no upper age limit on tinder. I've swiped men in their 50's and there's a gorgeous guy I'm trying to turn into an iron that's 49. 314 where is your friend?!

Ok, I am wiggling out slightly over Bacon as there are no games or bullshit. ...He's messaging just the right amount and being just the right mix of flirtatious/sweet/funny...must not get carried away...

Sounds good freaky I always had a good vibe about bacon..

*wigging out! Not wiggling...

Knew you meant wigging freaky

I'll also give my two penneth regarding the age thing (as in, looking / expecting to snare a much younger person be it male or female) used to really fuck me off when I was looking at a 44 yr olds profile (same age as me) and then get to the end only to see they were looking for a woman 25 to 35. Shallow. Beyond. Belief.. its also never gonna happen pal is what I used to think.
However... there is a lesson and that lesson is, the more prescriptive you are, the more you are counting people out who may be your perfect match. I only widened my age range because I was out of swipes. And met gentle. Who seems perfect for me. But would have been somewhat out of my initial age range..

314 I think that unless a guy is wealthy, fit and successful there's no way he's going to find himself a much younger women even if he is attractive and has good teeth!

I don't want to be looking after an old man in ten or fifteen years time so I'd ideally like to find someone younger or the same age as me.

Another interesting observation (or so I thought) is that some of the women in their forties and fifties have selected undecided/open against 'Do you want children', presumably this means they would consider taking on a partner with younger children rather than having any more children of their own for obvious reasons. I just hope it's for same for the men who have selected undecided/open because I find it hard to believe they would consider having more children in their forties and fifties even if they were lucky enough to find themselves a much younger woman.

ALaugh I'm interested, why did you put your age as 47, when you're 51? I'm 51, and have used my real age. I have messaged a few men on the quick match thing on OKC who I am 'too old' for according to their profile, and they have messaged me, and I met one of them.

I think men make assumptions about what a 51 year old looks like. When obviously we're all hot as fuck

Nanny, I'm pleased to hear you've met someone who seems perfect for you by widening your age range, there's a lesson to be learned there, I agree.

Bat sorry didn't see your post for some reason. The reason I've lied about my age is because I don't want to be matched with a load of 60 year olds that I wouldn't be interested in!

I think men make assumptions about what a 51 year old looks like. When obviously we're all hot as fuck

Exactly!

I need a young, fit man who can keep up with me!

ALaugh I need a young, fit man who can keep up with me! so do I!! I have had a couple of men in their 60s message me, but most of the men that contact me, or that I contact are in their early 40s to my age, which is fine. They have to be healthy and fit, and not fat, though! I'm currently sorting out meeting up with a 44 year old, and am chatting to a 49 year old.

So many guys say they are like 49 & have clearly subtracted 10 years...or the years have been VERY unkind to them...

Disclamer - I have drunk a large glass or 2 of wine (part of my strategy to not wallow/ fb stalk M...so take me with a pinch of salt tonight..

Not quite decided what I'm going to do about the student feedback I meant to send this evening...

BTW they are discussing the German film Victoria on front row... it is totally brilliant & I highly recommend it :)

Batshit No way are you 51! you really are hot as fuck!

I really, really, really love you, Freaky Thank you.

ocelot I live my life through a drunken haze....

ALaugh I need a young, fit man who can keep up with me! so do I!! I have had a couple of men in their 60s message me, but most of the men that contact me, or that I contact are in their early 40s to my age, which is fine. They have to be healthy and fit, and not fat, though! I'm currently sorting out meeting up with a 44 year old, and am chatting to a 49 year old.

Bat, that sounds very promising! I am yet to upload a photo on OLD because I am still living with my ex h but I hope when I do I have the same success as you. It's not as if I want to marry them ffs, I'm just looking for a long term (or maybe even short term I haven't decided yet) FWB type situation so nothing too serious. Good luck with the 44 and the 49 year old. The last relationship I had (when I was going through my divorce) was with a guy I worked with who was 42 and was hot!

Lol Nanny

And saw he was on POF :( when I tried not to check...

Oh dear god I have just had a guy ask to move in with me after three messages on Tinder... Hmmm, let me think. No. And you weren't being funny.

I haven't lied about my age but I'm tempted! I looked at the other women in my area on POF and they have aged so much better looking than the age equivalent men!

Oh Ida you could front him out and say yes!

Bear told me to lie about my age when he was here but......... that only confirms to me that it's not us in our actual skins that is turning off men our own age and a few years older. It's the NUMBER. But I don't want to meet somebody entitled, or, to start off with a lie and then have to diall it back. I dunno............

I might need to read that fall back girl book. Confused about why I'm drawn to Bear. Is it healthy or UNhealthy. I could ring him any time I wanted to. I love talking to him. He's affectionate, supportive, complimentary, respectful (I think, but am I wrong?). Or is it just simply unhealthy because he doesn't want a relationship. I feel fine. I'm not sad or upset. I met two friends for a long lunch earlier and they were like ''cut him loose!'' but they don't understand that it might be worth it. I might be meant to know Bear so that I expect more from other dates who are available. Maybe I am meant to meet bear first to stop me jumping in too quickly with other dates just because they're available.

Sorry for being deep!!