What would you put in DATING THREAD 101....

[tanyadm]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP.

TooSassy re: trying to persuade me he's a "good guy", he does it on every date (we've had 4 dates). The next date is at his house. Should I be worried? When I did the Freedom Program they told us that genuine good guys don't need to mention that they're good guys.

Anna I think I know what you mean about Pugwash. It's off putting to be compared in terms of physical attributes - that's lad banter isn't it. Misjudged and would make me slightly but maybe go with the flow. Good that his chance to redeem himself is tonight so not long.

Good luck later with N Batshit

My 'worst' of the smitten kittens referred to my mental state, btw

Popping in quickly.

waving I think you're playing it spot on.
I have a person who has become a great friend, on her third marriage and did the whole dating with young kids and she said something very insightful that has helped me.
Whilst none of us will obviously introduce all and sundry to our kids, she equally said not to overthink things. It is no bad lesson in life to show our kids that it is ok to date. It is then also ok to stop dating someone and break up if things don't work out. If you do it healthily, they learn than having self respect/ boundaries etc is actually very healthy when dating someone (am obviously working on the assumption that no one has an emotional breakdown after said breakup).
It was actually very helpful advice for me.
Mine are younger than your older ones but I have made it clear that I will date people now that their dad and I are apart and when they asked if I would ever get a new husband I responded with a 'yes, one day I will'.

Children are by their very nature beautifully selfish. I remember this well. They will one day spread their wings and fly and I fully intend on not being that woman who has sacrificed everything for my children. They come first, they always will, but I come a close second.

The smitten ones please stay on this thread! You're all my inspiration to carry on when clearing my bench of ones not worthy!!!!! Proffers and to the smitten ones, please stay!!!!!

Lol at handy I fully expect you to return the favour one day!

bat have a fab date tonight!

anna omg!!!! . Sorry but I would run a mile from that guy. Red flag galore for me based on and exbf. By the time said ex was done with his subtle mind games of 'curvy' I had dropped 18lbs and was severely underweight! A size 10 is not curvy! Just watch out for the subtle comments.

geordie bizarre behaviour if I'm honest. Does he just offer this up voluntarily out of the blue or is it in response to something you have said about exes???

TooSassy out of the blue!

geordie hmmm. Others may have an opinion but out of the blue repeated comments like that would have my alarms going off. I don't ever feel the need to say anything like that because my actions should make it clear.

Right back to the DC's! Happy iron hunting and best of luck to those on dates tonight!

I hope I do graduate to being smitten! I am trying to stay grounded but it's really hard when my imagination just wants to run away with me. I'm determined to channel MH and not scupper my chances with Crumpet.

I agree that the good guys don't have to keep saying it, they just are. Just keep it at the back of your mind Geordie, it's good that you've recognised the potential for a future problem.

Another smitten one checking in

I've only had 2 dates with MrBeard but I'm already making little plans in my head. He has his kids all this week but we keep in touch regularly which makes me feel more secure....he reminds me of Karl Pilkington which is good cos I like him

IToldYouIWasFreaky He then said 'Oo a picture is downloading, hope its not a naked one! Seriously!! I don't think I'll take it any further....!

DrFoxtrot question is, do I accept his offer of takeaway and film at his house on Sunday?

In other news, my favourite iron has turned bloody weird (different iron to the weirdo above! haha). We had planned to go for a walk in some local woods on Saturday which I was okay with as he has shown me photos of him taking his little girl there and seems legit. Check out the screenshot and tell me your thoughts. This would be the second date btw. He's Russian, so possible cultural lost-in-translation moment?

Foxtrot crumpet does sound nice though...

Waving I'm so jealous about your date in Madrid... Why don't I meet men like that?

I find my problem is I don't like them n they crazy for me or I do like them and they much cooler

'Oo a picture is downloading, hope its not a naked one!

Eeeewww I binned an iron that did that. He's still trying to get back into contact.

Geordie hate guys like that.

Exchanged numbers with a guy other week who then asked me if I was a girl who was daring..to which I replied 'I can be, in what way do you mean' he then said he'd love to watch me in my stilletos stamping on a watch til it broke!!!

Blocked ever so quickly !!

Geordie with any irons who have potential red flags, I'd be planning dates still in public places. Is the man wanting to go in the woods a first date? I'd meet him at a pub first if you are going walking but I'd probably only go alone with them on the second or even third date depending on how well we get on, background checks stalking, etc

Okay guys, more advice needed. A new iron was trotting out the familiar line "What is a perfect lass like you wanting with a lad like me, what's the catch?" which I put down to poor self-esteem or poor attempt at flattery. Then he asked if I had facebook. I said yes and we added each other. Convo started flowing nicely on FB messenger then suddenly today I see I am blocked!

What the hell??!

Why are my irons turning into psychos?!

DrFoxtrot The walk in the woods was going to be the second date. I've already had the first date with him in a pub, was nice. I dunno what to do He's my favourite iron.

Geordie I guess its meant to be humour re the wood but does not cme across well by text with someone you hardly know!

Yes, I agree with ocelot that it's probably a badly aimed attempt at a joke. Shows a bit of lack of sensitivity really.

If you are at all uncomfortable, stick to public places.

Hi all,

I lurk regularly and I'm loving following all your dating experiences. I'm dating too but I'm a slow coach after an abusive marriage (guess you'd put me down as a horrible IDWAR person ).

Anyway, just delurking to ask a small piece of advice. I dated a tortured musician type for 2 months over Christmas. We majorly fell out when he criticised my parenting, never actually having seen me with my kids. So I blocked him and moved on. Yesterday I got an email (I forgot he had it) with a song he's written which us very much about me. It's a nice song. He's very talented and is quite famous. But I don't know whether to respond with 'good song, hope you are well, good luck with the tour.' Or just ghost him? Which I hate doing as it feels do wrong! But I really don't want to engage with him. WWYD?

Waving - enjoy Madrid!! Amazing 5th date. This thread is so positive and I have number 2 on Sunday with someone I really like so hopefully the positivity will rub off on my by lurker proxy

Sorry for all the typos! Fat fingers!

Thanks everyone. Glad I wasn't overreacting. I have replied "Shall we just meet at the cinema? There's loads of places to eat there".

I'm more inclined to agree with handy when it comes to Pugwash's 'biggest' remark. However big I am there's no doubt he likes it and he likes me. It still made me feel self conscious though, I've decided I'm going to talk to him about it this evening and make any decisions based on his response.

I'll read up now.

Geordie re that message from BabesInTheWood I agree, it's a joke but it would scare me! How about another nice pub date?

I don't add potential dates to Facebook until I know them well so that's never then