What would you put in DATING THREAD 101....

[tanyadm]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP.

God the power of positivity on this thread is bloody amazing...just had a message from Bacon checking in and asking how I am! Oh, and it was on WhatsApp too...no more Tinder.
Handy I was going to leave it until Sunday as I am doing a race then, which we were chatting about so would have been an excuse to message. But now no need!

tanya congrats on the job! (DC's interrupted me mid post so took an age to post.

freaky I personally wouldn't pursue bacon any further. You've thrown the date out there. Let him confirm. You're having to work way too hard early on IMO.

I have a coffee date on sat with mrtattoo. He's uber easy to message with so am looking forward to it! Think aside from the irons in play I plan to keep away from the dating apps for the time being.

Ooh Yey Freaky and THAT, my friends is the law of attraction. In action.

Princess even opening a text on a date is a no-no. Never mind the rest! WTF!

Ooh Yey for your coffee date, Sassy

Where is DrFoxtrot then?

Nice message sassy you did very well to remember and include everyone!
Some nice updates, well done on the job tanya hopefully your irons will come along as nicely to make your day even better!
freaky hmmm I'd have to have that confirmed for my own piece of mind, just to be sure you both understood it as a firm date? Good luck!!
foxtrot any further crumpet updates? Hopefully it continued to be a brilliant date!
Nothing here, feeling a bit deflated as I've really been proactive today and messaged quite a few men myself. All chatty friendly more than just "hi" messages, mentioning something in their profile etc and only 1 guy responded out of all of them! It's the name of the game but it does smart a little when you can see they have viewed you and obviously just not liked what they saw!
My slowburner iron is either so slow he's gone out or just gone off the boil. We loosely arranged to meet for a drink Friday, but he never did seem that enthusiastic about it and now hasn't message for a couple of days so even if he does come back to me, I don't think I CBA with someone who's that lacklustre.
Not heard from singledad either so I think both my irons have fizzled and I'm not doing very well getting new ones! Still not actually been on a date yet!!!

OK, this is just weird...at the same time as talking to Bacon on WhatsApp I am having a group chat with the friends that I am supposed to be going out with on Friday and there is some talk of rescheduling for next weekend. So, now I have an actual reason to firm up plans with Bacon. The universe arranges things very nicely sometimes!

The thing is, I think he did it to impress me!!! He's 59 and well, at the end of his sell by date really. Hes not even a good catch!!!!

Ooooh, my guy just emerged from the manhole and regained the ability to text! Trying not to get too excited, but still... so excited!

WW2K, I had a manhole-popper-upper today too. Figure I was on his B list...

Hi all
I've only been posting on this thread a short while and it's so fast moving with so much happening!
Well I'm starting to think there's no point trying to figure men out when I can't figure myself out. I went on date number one last week, came away thinking he was nice but I didn't fancy him physically, felt a bit flat about it as I'd had high hopes, and decided I wouldn't go on a second date. Fast forward a few days and he's played a blinder - texting just often enough to remind me if his existence, but just rarely enough to make me want a bit more! Now I'm overjoyed to get his texts, and looking forward to date 2 (will be arranged as he is keen). What is going on in my brain? How will I feel when I see him? I just don't trust my judgment any more!

Also, can anyone answer a question about POF? What does the "meet me" bit mean? Who are these people, and what have they done to get in that section? Are they randomly matched to me or have they seen my profile? They seem never- ending, and as fast as I look at them new ones appear!

This is very time-consuming isn't it!

Princess I did think when reading your first post that he was trying to show off. But it's made him come off like a total loser!

Sassy- you made me laugh. My 8 year old dd often corrects her big sister by saying 'Hay is for horses'!

MrTV, the one who I'm having a first date with on Friday, messaged today to ask me if I like gin and has booked a table at a v nice bar.

I am very impressed with a man who likes to plan ahead :)

I didn't even need to drop hints! He confirmed the 9th all by himself

Further proof (if any were needed) that if you keep busy (really have not had time to message him over the past couple of days) and SHUT UP for a bit, they will come back if they are interested.
He's in full Blarney-mode too. Make me all swoony but really need to keep that in check..

Princess What a weird thing to do! How did you respond? I think I'd just say something like "Oh, right" and do a face.

Jollyp I know EXACTLY what you mean. Being aware of it will help though, as will having a second date. It's easy to get carried away with texting...it builds the drama etc but when you see him again, you'll know how you feel and if there's anything there or not.
I don't really know about meetme on POF! I think it's just all the people local to you..they don't do anything to come up on there. Mr2015 (who I was seeing last year) came up on my meetme and I KNOW that he wouldn't have expressed an interest in me on there...didn't even have a sneaky peek at my profile after I looked at his!

Good work by MrTV Trills! Though, who doesn't like gin?!

It's a gin bar. If I only liked wine it would be the wrong place. We've bee joking about how hipster-ish it is and whether we'll be drinking out of jam jars or teacups or something.

Much better than MrThursday who cancelled only when I messaged him to say "where shall we meet tomorrow?".

Further proof (if any were needed) that if you keep busy (really have not had time to message him over the past couple of days) and SHUT UP for a bit, they will come back if they are interested.

Unless you both do this of course, in which case you get into a stalemate! :o

I am definitely pro shutting up for for A BIT, but then if you are interested do send one message before writing it off, because someone has to.

Oh, totally agree with the "just sending one last message before you write it off" thing but in the past I have been guilty of doing too much of the legwork in the early days which hasn't worked out well...
A hipster gin bar sounds fabulous!

I just need to figure out what to WEAR. :o

That I can also wear to work without too much comment...

Guys, when a man seems to think he has to persuade you he's a "good guy", that's a red flag right?

I'm back home! I'll need to catch up on two pages of thread but I need to update!!

Crumpet was gorgeous much better in real life and exactly what I'm looking for! And the coffee date extended into dinner which was lovely and felt very natural. We have planned a second date and I now need help to remain grounded! I'm going to continue to chat with other matches, keep up with the thread and keep up my other interests so I can not fall into the pit of completely smitten ridiculousness. Help!!

DrFoxtrot Wooohoo how awesome! So, how does he match what you're looking for? :) Tell all.

I forgot to mention that there was snogging! I'm not helping myself remain grounded here!!

Thx all for yr support & belief in my worth/Ms lack of .... & that the universe WILL deliver :) it means a lot... & I do look forward to the time when I can tell you that you were all right but I must couldn't see it...

I just can't delete our lovely conversations yet... But the real problem is avoiding checking him on social media - I know its self destructive & i need to avoid him :(

And congrats on the job Tanya :)

Geordie he physically ticked all my boxes, is intelligent, funny, easy to talk to, had a lovely smell

I think I've caught up sort of! Freaky brilliant news about Bacon, I can't wait for your date with him.

tanya well done on getting the job!

314 and ocelot that sounds like a good challenge to keep you occupied to get more irons by May!

Trills the gin bar sounds fabulous, I love it when a man makes decisions and just a gets things done. A very attractive quality.

Batshit G sounds very needy and off putting. I'd be taking quite a step back at this point. I hope the date with N goes well.

Jollyp I have had those thoughts in the past of doubting whether I could trust my own judgement. When I'm dating sometimes I don't feel my normal self and long to get back to my normal single routine. But when things are right, they will feel right. Maybe things feel off because it's just not quite right? After the second date you will know. Or if you're feeling flat and not sure don't arrange any further dates with him. I have been guilty of arranging second dates because I felt sorry for the men but I had persuaded myself that they might be 'worth another look' .