What would you put in DATING THREAD 101....

[tanyadm]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP.

Found you all. I apologise, I've been spending far more time in the FB group than on here, I will try and get back into posting on here again for those of you not in the group.

waving I don't think anyone will beat Spain for date number 5!! So jealous but hope you have and amazing time!!
muddling err not sure if it's interesting, seductive or just plain odd? But go with it, maybe he's just as lost as to what to write as we are sometimes

Got a younger man from OKC messaging me today, constantly calling me hunni

Welcome back Gast!

Handy that's excellent news!

I've just skim read the thread but will catch up properly later! I have a date with MrCrumpet soon and I'm really looking forward to it!

Potential new iron on the horizon...the gorgeous tinder match!

Things sounding very positive for you there foxtrot where is your date with Mrcrumpet? Good luck!! And fingers crossed for the gorgeous new possible iron...

Ooh Yey you're keen on MrCrumpet, aren't you Fox - who doesn't like a bit of Crumpet? - enjoy!!!

I'm so tired i can barely put one foot in front of the other!?

Still smiling though

Early night of a different kind for you tonigh handy

I need to read and catch up properly but first...

Well, Bear gone. We both went to work this morning. 3 nights together. It wasn't too long, just right, for me. His journey to work a much longer one than mine, but, we've said good bye for I don't know how long.

It was really nice, really relaxed but companionable. The chatting, the sex, the body in the bed. Why wouldn't I want a relationship??? But, he gave me a book which I think is an anti-romance book (?) It's called ''the magical other'' (by James H0llis) and I feel like although the book might benefit some people, I don't have a particularly romantic view of relationships, I don't believe in the one, I think I could be happy with a number of people, I think circumstances and compatibility matter, I'm not looking for somebody to rescue me or complete me. I'm sane, I'm content but I'll admit, I want a relationship, I don't need a raft to cling to. So I'm kind of by what he thinks I'm going to take from this book. I feel like my desire for a good strong fulfilling relationship is being mocked ever so slightly.

I think I will ask mrcanceller if he wants to go to the cinema with me tonight. I'm going anyway, so if he doesn't want to come with me I'll be like 'fine' especially as I'm not sure about that, but perhaps I would give him another chance if it weren't for Bear having taken up my head/bed this week.

Hello gast yes I'm in Brighton. I'm about to dip my toe in the world of Tinder...

Mag that sounds like a bit of an odd book to give someone, and it's not something, surely, you would choose without thinking about it? I think I'd have to ask him outright "What message are you sending me here with giving me this book?"

Yay Waving so pleased you're going to Spain. And yay to Handy too!

Foxtrot good luck with Crumpet.

G (yesterday's coffee date) is being over-the-top with the 'I really like you' messages, and found me online on OKC, and seemed a bit hurt/narked about it. I'm still not quite sure about him - I think I prefer a man who's a bit more of a challenge never happy

N, who I'm supposed to be seeing tomorrow night, was texting most of yesterday evening (I was trying to watch The Night Manager!) - he's certainly more of a challenge, and there's a bit more flirtiness with his conversation. We still haven't finalised place/time yet, though.

Can someone let me know details of the fb group please

Right, done it, sent a v quick message to mr canceller asking him if he wants to come with me to see the film that I'm going to see anyway (on my own if he's not coming).

Waving delighted for you! Madrid will be gorgeous. You'll both be on a bit of a high. The three days in Madrid will be fantastic.

Datingdoofus, I'll know more after I've read the book, but it's almost like he thinks wanting another person is a weakness or a flaw that can be fixed with a different mind set. And weirdly, that's how my mother made me feel growing up, that wanting somebody was weakness. I will read the book, do a review, think about what conclusions I'm going to share deliver both barrels

April is going to be a busy month with all my female friends! so, 1st May, when my friends visiting from abroad have gone, I will try try try stir up some decent irons. New pictures. Message at least ten people. The effort! I'm tired thinking of it!

steadyhand mr wtf blocked you on messenger and now he's texting 'hey x' ?? yeh I'd say ignore that.

handy wow, delighted for you sounds like a perfect night. and better, it sounds like things are going in the right direcetion.

ocelot you and I both need new irons.

As trills says, we need to work our way through frogs, at much greater speed! what the hell am I doing here!? If mr canceller doesn't answer my spontaneous suggestion to go to cinema later I'll feel completely at peace just moving on from him. I won't feel any guilt or rejection actually, just "permission" to let that one go. I liked him,,,,,,,,,,,, but it's all so complex.

Hello everyone!

I am between two flights and will catch up properly later..

Yay Waving, going to Spain is awesome!

Welcome back 314..!!

Have just had a "Eeeek" moment.. MrOrganizedYogi has put on two new pictures (much hotter) on his Tinder profile. I guess he is looking for more moose to chase down. No idea why that bothers me since I am pretty much doing the same but I can't shake off the feeling!

What was it again, "sweet shop mentality"

But, he gave me a book which I think is an anti-romance book (?) It's called ''the magical other'' (by James Hollis)

314 I've just read the reviews for that book on Amazon, I think it sounds really interesting. Maybe he wanted you to read it because he thought you would like it/understand what the author is saying, rather than because he thinks you need to be 'shown' something?

Oh yes, Steady don't bother to reply to him, just delete/block him, because he isn't worthy of you needs to take own advice

Cinema date with GeekMan was okay. Film was amazing (10 Cloverfield Lane), but God was GeekMan dull. He even speaks in monotone. Seems gentlemanly enough but that's about where his positives end.

Got a second date with the sexy Russian Academic on Saturday. We're going for a walk in some local woods. He's told me to bring wellies! wtf?

I wasn't dying to kiss him

Hate it when that happens. Is it ever possible for this to change over time? My experience says no.

merely emotionally unavailable in a 'I prefer to float around being creative and beholden to nobody' sort of way.

Ahhhhh Mr Unavailable, otherwise known as Avoidant Attachment. It's a common attachment type (approx 25% of population) and one I'm seeking to avoid like the plague. In fact, I'm in the process of compiling a "warning signs" list after being with Mr Unavailable for > 1 year. Anyone care to add to it? So far it is:

Early warning signs:

• Not forthcoming with emotions.
• Not very cuddly/touchy feely.
• Contacts you much less than you contact him.
• Hobbies involve isolation (e.g. reading, going for walks)
• 'You' chase 'him'.
• Workaholic.
• Preoccupied/apathetic vibes when you're together.
• After a period of intimacy will withdraw abruptly into his shell for a while.

These guys aren't bad people. They've just learnt to handle attachment by deactivating it.

aMag314 What's the book about?

BatshitCrazyWoman eeee G is clingy alert! I'd run! How many dates have you been on with him?

weirdly, that's how my mother made me feel growing up, that wanting somebody was weakness

Very interesting. How did she do that?

314 I know .... I'm looking for irons, I really am but can't find any among the monosyllabic Mr Potatoheads! :(
and so it all makes me think of M more :( Just don't know what to do with myself... :(

Geordie only one :-/

LOO UPDATE!!! MrCrumpet is lovely

Brilliant, DrFoxtrot