The ignoring....gaaaa

[jellybean2000]

That is all.
Yes, I'm divorcing him.
He will continue to stoop to whatever method he can to control, upset and anger me.
Delay, delay, delay.

I've been here for a while but NC a while ago.

He has threatened you in front of the kids. Call the police.

for you, FV, this is just dragging on and on. Can you get some RL support in tonight?

He has hit you before and he has just threatened you in front of the DC? Absolutely phone the police

He has never hit me. Ha! Perhaps they would take more notice if he had. I won't call police.

I am ok. I wandered about in a field for a bit, called Samaritans then went to see a good friend.
Am going swimming soon.

Sorry I wasn't on earlier.

Wow! How on earth does the offer of 50-50 visitation set him off? Surely he must realise by now that this is actually happening especially given you are actually divorced now.

Why won't you call the police? I know they can't solve it completely but at least he would know that you won't be verbally abused.

Are the boys ok after witnessing that?

Being positive his frustration and anger is because you have all the real power he can only try and bully you. Sure the DC can't wait to visit to him...

Swimming is peaceful, good move.

I'm glad you sent the email though I know the immediate result was awful for and the children, but you have things in writing showing that you are trying to organise things properly, and this is a very good thing.

If he doesn't reply in writing, ignores it, and deviates from what you've suggested, that shows how hard you are each trying doesn't it?

I'm sorry he behaves towards you so badly, FV, it is soooo wearing and I am in awe of you, of how you carry on despite him and his wankbadgerdom.

FV, you are amazing. When you don't have to expend all this energy on twatfeatures, life will be so different.

I won't call the police dobby cos they have to follow up with a house call or I have to go to DV unit miles away tomorrow. Can't be arsed TBH. I'm drained. I'm doing what I need to do to get through. He WILL be gone soon. That sounds defeatist, but so be it.

So what if he shouts and kicks off? It shows him up for what he is, while failing to get anything useful to him because you've grown steel ovaries since the car thing. Daft sod.

It scares me, that's so what.

Not defeatist, you are not rolling over and giving him what he wants despite his best efforts to make you suffer. I was just interested as to the reasons. He doesn't do himself any favours in the eyes of his sons.

Bastard. All he had to do if he didn't like the suggestion was to reply to the email. What was his problem with the suggestion anyway?

Any sniff of him signing yet?

Just called mortgage people.

ex called them yesterday to say he is going to sign the form. Twat - he's already agreed to do that so this was just to get them off his back.

Anyway, they tell me they will give him until this Friday and if they haven't got it back by then they will chase him again. I will call them again on Friday. They they send forms to me to sign (a few more days), I send back (by return of post). It should then be a week or 10 days for the money to come through.

Let's aim for the end of Sept then. My Birthday is around that time.

But in running news, my return from injury is going well and have entered a couple of races. Just 5 milers, but that's all I'll be ready to race by then. I have let the happy thoughts of how much I love it enter my head. Keep your fingers crossed.

I see bone scan man today.

And, looking worst case, if he doesn't sign what happens then? Do you still have that court date?

He will be in breach of the Court Order so I take him to court (joy).
No, we don't have that other date, the fact that we agreed financial settlement before that date (23rd Aug) cancelled it (there's a fancy law term for this, but you know what I mean).

End of May he agreed to this. There was me it would take a matter for weeks to get rid of him from then. Ho ho ho ho.

I am going to write a book.

Yes I thought it was August.

How many times will they chase him and how long will your mortgage offer last?

I don't think he will let it go to court but I can't help but suspect that he will drag it out as long as possible.

Apart from the shouting etc., did he respond as to how he would like visitation to work?

I don't know how many times they will chase him. I'll find out if they haven't received it by Friday.
Offer lasts until Jan 2017.

No he didn't respond beyond adding a few annotations for this weeks plans. I know what's happening this week, but I cannot work in this way long term.

If he doesn't sign in time and is in breach of the Court Order, can you then just get the police to remove him from the property? (Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes.....)

I don't know, I don't know, I don't know! I probably have to take him to Court.

Why do I feel I'm the first person to have ever done this?

I am actually going to write a book when I am through this. It's a load of bollocks.

Anyway, I am in a good mood. Just finished a good days work, made a shepherd's pie in my lunch break, just going to get DS2 who's been at a friend's, collect DS1 from town, bring them home, shove aforementioned pie in front of them (with some veg I guess), go to bone doctor, home, hang out with kids depending on time, DS2 to bed, RUN (will need head torch I think). Tidy house, sort laundry etc.

ex will come home and some point but hopefully I'll have endorphins.

www.netlawman.co.uk/ia/breach-of-consent-order#Reporting a breach

Yeah, goes back to Court. Skim read it and it's all court, solicitors and fees. Bla bla.

For all his stalling I don't think you will need to take him to court, although you may need solicitors and an actual court date for him to sign.

Don't get why he wants to hang on until the very last...... At least he has told mortgage company that he intends to sign, maybe a stranger asking him was enough. We can but hope.

TBH I would start the wheels in motion to take him back to court, I don't think he will until the court date etc. so you may as well get on with and shorten the time.

Well can you start a fund then....18 months of sol fees plus division of assets plus taking on a mortgage has wiped me out.

Also i don't think it would be prudent to start court proceedings until he's left the home.

I need to get myself straight both mentally, physically (bone doc concerned about low BMI) and physically before I do anything otherwise I'll be no use to man or beast.

Whilst it would be nice to shorten the time I think it would be premature, plus I would imagine you would need a solicitor again and there is probably a process they would need to follow. Don't know enough about it.

Wait to see on Friday/Monday and ask the mortgage company how many times they will chase him. Perhaps also decide on a date that you will say 'ok that's long enough' and if he hasn't signed by then - then look into it further and see how easy it is to apply to the courts yourself.

Shame the courts don't say people have such and such time to sort everything out or they are in contempt.

The sealed consent order does have dates by which things are meant to happen: the handing over of the £££ and the division of house stuff.

Seems it's doesn't count for much. The ££££ date has passed....I obv can't give him his money if he's stalking.

My sol pressed the issue of the timing of the Order. At no point did anyone say that I would find myself in the position of having to wait for him.

Yes, there should be tighter time frames.