The ignoring....gaaaa

[jellybean2000]

That is all.
Yes, I'm divorcing him.
He will continue to stoop to whatever method he can to control, upset and anger me.
Delay, delay, delay.

I've been here for a while but NC a while ago.

Both those things will depend on where he finds to live and whether it's furnished or unfurnished. I would start your list when you feel up to it. Just hope he isn't an awkward bugger and want what you want.. Just for the hell of it.

Take it easy running, glad you are healing.

Today ok so far.
Most of morning with the DSs, till ex came back from bike ride. Then he just takes over DS2, feeding him junk etc.

Took myself blackberry picking with DS1 by which time ex and DS2 out.

1k swim done. Sitting in garden mustering energy to do all the jobs.

Have eaten ok today - having breakfast in the garden with the boys is a great start.

Holiday feet.

Awww lovely sandy feet! Hope today is as stress free as possible and you don't have to interact with ex.

Hope the rest of the day is peaceful for you.

Great pic, just you and your boys. 😀

Aww cute photo
Enjoy your day FV!

Congratuations on your Absolute

Keep on, FV, you're amazingly strong! As you say, every day is another day closer.

DS2 told me ex might have a flat in nearest town and moving in 2 weeks. Dare I believe it?

Ex should be telling me this surely? It doesn't bode well, does it. And as far as I know he is not including DS1 in any part of this.

Q. Am I regarded as a single mum when me and ex have shared residency or is a single mum one where there is no ex partner on the scene? Just curious.

Anyway, ex out till 11. I'll take DS1 to band rehearsal then ex and DS2 will be out when I get back,so afternoon to myself. Will do lots of exercise. Feeling twitchy.

But will need to make myself scarce this evening as ex will be about. I just do what I do to get through. The thought of standing up to it makes me feel sick with anxiety so I'm not putting myself through that now, not while I'm so close to the end.

I have

I hope that is the case with the flat, talk about dragging it out til the bitter end though. Who knows, perhaps if he is happier in the future you can reach a civil stage and communicate better over DS2 but for now I guess he wants to keep you in the dark for whatever reason. Fingers crossed its true anyway.

To me you are a single mother. (A single person who is a mother)

Do whatever you have to do to get through the next however long. Hang in there.

Ex was not out when I got back.
I just started crying - coping levels are very low. Took myself out for a walk.

Back and they were gone. Tidied house and now home alone for a bit.

Hugs. Hang in there, you are stronger than you think. One day this will all be a distant nightmare.

Tax Credit people will consider you separated, I believe, but I don't know the ins and outs. You've separated your finances, haven't you, or are you financing him still (faint recollection he's dependent on you; if I'm mixed up forgive me!).

Hope you had good alone time.

Yes, finances are now separated after crying in bank incident and yes I did support him for years.

You've reminded me I need to check tax credits. I don't get any now but that might change i suppose. Also need to change our Wills.

When he moves out don't forget the council tax. Every bit helps.

Hope your weekend is peaceful so far.

What will I need to do if ex continues the abuse in the form on residency of DS2?
For example he's been away with him since Tuesday, no notice, vague contact as to when home, where they are etc. Did not ask me beforehand.
DS2 is safe with ex, he's not breaking the law. We have no contact Order. My understanding is we are meant to sort it out ourselves, and if we can't we go to mediation (which I won't do with DV background) then Court.

I can't afford more solicitor fees so would have to self-represent.

Oh and he hasn't signed the deeds form (as I suspected). It's with his solicitor now.

My sol has sent final bill so as far as she's concerned it's all done and dusted. If only.

He hasn't let me speak to DS2 as he's had phone off and not replied to my txts until really late.

Am going to get DS his own little phone.

Own phone sounds like a good idea.

God he's an arse.

That is completely unacceptable. Did he even tell you he was taking him away for a few nights?

Will you feel more confident in dealing with ex when you are not living under the same roof? If you feel you might be then perhaps you could try mediation then and I would suggest taking a friend with you. (Don't know where you live but I would gladly volunteer)! This can't carry on long term.

You always think on what's fair and reasonable but he doesn't. Write down all these examples of him being unfair and unreasonable to record them in case you need it in the future.

Courts might not be too concerned with you being able to speak to your son when he is away a couple of nights but I'm sure they would frown upon your son being taken away with no notice and no information where he is or when he will be home.

If he continues like this then you will have no choice but to go to court. However, if he was playing silly buggers and as a result you stopped contact it is your ex who would take you to court.

He told me he might be taking him away Tues night. Then he didn't tell me until 10pm he was staying out Wed night and told me midday yesterday staying Thurs as well. No discussion beforehand.

There is no way I am going to mediation with him.

I have tried to call WA for advice many times last night and again just now. No answer.
I also tried Rights for Women, but no answer there either.

I have to tell ex that there is no way I can carry on with school runs the way it was last term. I am so sad that it is still not resolved.

He is so bloody infuriating.

I'm worried if you say something about the school run then he will just act up more as I do believe he acts the way he does because he knows it bothers you. Can you email it? Just say school run will be X,y & z with no last minute changes, or print it out and stick it up in the kitchen.

When he eventually moves out I think you will need to dig your heels in, it will still be unpleasant but I think it will be the only way. Sadly I don't think his game playing will end on the point he moves out. Hope I'm wrong.

If anything happens, then or now, phone the police.

I'm actually struggling with my emotions dealing with some of my friends telling me I'm nearly there, he'll be gone soon bla bla. While I admit that this has (and still is) what dominates my life, as the end of this period has approached I have accepted (or allowed into my exhausted mind) the knowledge that it absolutely WON'T all be OK.

I know I will be in a stronger position as I won't be dealing with him in my living space, but I feel a bit like some of my friends think I'm now just being woe is me, or when I explain that there will still be difficulties they don't understand.

Most of my closest supporters are getting it. Just musing. I will go home this evening (am working on campus today with real live people who are just pissing me off with their human noises actually! and write the timetable for drop off and collect. I really want to take him on his first day. He's had him for nearly 4 weeks of the summer hols. I had him for 1 w/e ex and then the second where I was off but he just barged in.

Changed my name at the GP the other day. Hoorah.

And I told the head and Beaver leader that it would all be resolved come Sept. Fucking brilliant.