The ignoring....gaaaa

[jellybean2000]

That is all.
Yes, I'm divorcing him.
He will continue to stoop to whatever method he can to control, upset and anger me.
Delay, delay, delay.

I've been here for a while but NC a while ago.

Do the solicitors not chase this as well? Can't see a mortgage company being very pro active.

Yes I'm hoping your concerns with eating and excersise are resolved the same way my ED was cured.... By getting a divorce! I have said to you before that a lot of this is anxiety and will resolve when he buggers off.

Solicitors will chase of course but will cost. I am utterly broke!

See this was my concern, does he sign the deeds before you pay the money, or after or is it simultaneous done via the solicitor?

He signs (his sol as witness), then money is transferred.

He will be in breach of court order if he doesn't sign. It's all in order, just the whole thing allows him to delay delay delay

Yep he's a nasty abusive w*nker, but you know that don't you.

Hugs &

Is it in writing that he cannot return to the house once he has signed?

Well it would be trespassing so I could call the cops.

for you

Hang in there you've got this. You are so nearly free as soon as the transfer is made lose your keys and call a lock smith. Set the new boundary

You can then take back control have a read of Spark joy to help you get your house in order it might help

So upset. Remember ex took DS2 to France for 3 weeks. I was with him last week, and took this week off to be with him.

DS2 trundles upstairs this morning saying he's going cycling with ex. We were going to go out for the day. I talked to ex who just said it was DS2s decision. Told him he should have told DS he was with me. He said I could tell DS that. Pathetic. I'm sobbing.

What a dick.

Wash your face, get down there, tell DS that actually his dad made a mistake and it's mum's day today. Bright and breezy, up and at it. You can do this. Dig deep, we all know you've got it in you.

You are allowed to tell DS you want to spend time with him and took holiday especially for that, dad has already had his special time. It won't make you look bad, it will make DS feel loved and help him to start recognising that mummy's feelings are valid and should be respected, which he has likely never seen.

DS2 shouldn't have been an given a choice if it was decided that this was your time with him.

Do you write arrangements down, and did stbx know your plans today? If so then calmly tell him that this should never happen again or it makes a mockery of access arrangements and you will start ignoring his allocated times with ds2.

He really is a prized dick.

All change. DS said he's decided he's NOT going. No idea what went on.
Whatever, got my boy.

Any sort of me asserting myself would have resulted in shouting by ex infront of DS. Not happening.

Dobby, it's "my" week - been on calendar for weeks.
Ex has already written when he's taking DS out and I haven't said anything - means ex is out even though he's got DS.

We can't discuss long term residency until I know where ex is living.

That's miserable that he's got you backed into a corner like this where you can't be assertive for fear of hurting your DS. I'm glad it's resolved for today at least.

Enjoy your day out and roll on the 31st. This will end one day and every day you survive it's one day closer.

The 31st isn't the end of it, but yes every day is one day closer.

Oh yes, you're absolutely right. I was trying to say that it's a concrete date to focus on that's only 8 days away.

Ex must have figured if he got away with those times he wrote down then he would insert himself into your whole week.

Glad it's resolved. I know it's unpleasant and you want to protect DS2 from his dad shouting but sometimes it's good for them to see what they are really like and can have an understanding of why things are done a certain way. In your case I know that your sons do already know what he is like though.

Just voicing off here as a bit upset and annoyed.

Necree nisi arrived in post. I already knew it had been granted a few weeks ago. No problem except the last para from the sol is so formal and just states she'll make my final invoice. No best wishes or anything. It's such an odd relationship. She knows such a great deal about my marriage and all that but of course doesn't know me at all.

Then I questioned the date of the financial order. The way she replied made it look like I didn't believe her and then she got quite defensive. Of course if I have a to and fro discussion it all costs.

It was just a misunderstanding or rather what I believe her to be assuming too much knowledge on my behalf. Makes no difference.

So now the ball is in ex's court.

I've had a lovely day with my boys. Feeling rather done in though.

*decree absolute even!

Congratulations on your absolute! Another box ticked on the way to freedom. Mine felt like a bit of an anti-climax as we were still living in the same house and didn't in fact get to move apart till a few months later. That was not a happy few months. But it passes.

I feel nothing at all about the Absolute, except I can start changing my name back to my maiden name now, which is much more cool than my married name.

I think that's standard for solicitors to be honest, probably would have to charge more for a few words of good wishes!

So everything is done now bar getting the mortgage through and him finding somewhere to live?

Glad you had a good day with the boys.

Hang in there FV!

Yes dobby though we have not started taking about chattels or residency.

Anyway been for a very very gentle run. Leg feels better than it did last time I tried a couple of weeks ago.