The ignoring....gaaaa

[jellybean2000]

That is all.
Yes, I'm divorcing him.
He will continue to stoop to whatever method he can to control, upset and anger me.
Delay, delay, delay.

I've been here for a while but NC a while ago.

I only know he's coming back "pm".
Imagine you'd been away from your mum for 3 weeks, you'd be disappointed if she wasn't there to greet you when you got back.

However, I don't want to be at home. At all. I'm going for a walk. I am twitching to go swimming later. I need the outlet.

And nothing from mortgage company so I will go away not knowing whether they have what they need to send the TR1 form. I'm not going to read email when I'm away.

3 weeks is a long time, I agree you should be at there when your son gets home, stbx tries time and time again to come between you and DS2 don't let his presence effect you being there for your son.

That sucks with the mortgage company. I guess your solicitor can't chase it up in your absence?

Still no news.

There is nothing sol can do, if the mortgage can't proceed it will because they need more docs or info from me.

Really annoying but it's more important that you have a break away with your boys without stressing over this.

Is DS2 home now? Hope everything is calm for you.

They finally got back 9.30pm.
Glass of milk, bath, snuggles, quick chapter of BFG and sleep time.

So lovely to see him. He's full of stories.

I'm ok.

I am going internet free (no email or web) on hols. I need the break and to just focus on my boys. Sol and mortgage people know they can contact me via txt or phone if something urgently needs my attention.

Anyway tomorrow is shopping day!
Super hot summer clothes needed. Better not be bloody Autumn/winter wear in already!!

That's good to hear.
You might have picked the best time to shop; most places have summer sales clothes around still.
Happy shopping

So glad he is home and all seems calm.

I think your holiday plan re contact is wise, you really do need the break.

Hope you manage to get what you need tomorrow.

If we don't see you before I hope you have a wonderful and relaxing holiday.

hugs and have an amazing holiday!

It is lovely to have those cuddles after your child has been away for while, isn't it?

Hope you have a great holiday, FV.

Really struggling. Can't stop crying.
I can get through today (he's out on his bike already - leaving usual scummy mess), but thought of coming back to this for weeks after our holiday are overriding everything.

It wasn't meant to be like this - he was meant to be gone and the holiday was meant to be a celebration of my new life.

I don't think I can live here with him for weeks.

You can. You've come this far and you are on the home stretch, I know you just want to scream at the frustration of it all.

Truth is it shouldn't be like this, but it is because you are dealing with a completely unreasonable person who seems to want to hang around until the last to punish you for his failings. It's the only reason I can think of that makes him hang around when he has the means already to move out, your shed must be luxurious!

It is utterly frustrating for you, I know you will dread coming home but you can and you will, just as you have done before. Pretty soon you won't have to feel like this again. Hang in there.

Sending hugs

I know this is limp as a suggestion, but try and just concentrate on the next half hour, just keep focusing on now. It's the feeling that it will never end that is the toughest, but it will You have to keep concentrating on the good bits, the best bits of the holiday and just get through.

I'm sure someone will be along with awesome advice, sending hugs till they do.

Another thought, are you able to afford to move into a b & b or caravan park near home for a few weeks with ds2?

I know you don't want a reaction from stbx but I think at this stage I might send him an email after you have left for holiday stating quite honestly that you can't live like this any more and will be moving out with ds2 until this is resolved and he has moved out. Even if I couldn't afford it I might be tempted to put it to him anyway.

Thinking of you FV - I hope you have a nice holiday and it provides a bit of respite for you.

FV, sorry I missed this on Sat (was dd's birthday). I hope that by now you're away on hol with yor boys and beginning to relax.

I hope you have a truly lovely timeand reconnect strongly with both the boys, and you get a foretaste of what you are fighting for - life with the boys without the lazy bastard.

KOKO. You are getting closer all the time,and soonit will be done.xxx

We are back.
Fabulous holiday. Perfect.

Back to hell.
No movement with mortgage.
He's making no sign of moving.
House was disgusting.
He's "booked" times with DS2 and also asking to take him away for a month (Asia) in the winter. Not happening.

DS1 got A in AS maths. That's good.

Same anxieties have returned with a bang - feel urge to get out and exercise, stomach in knots, shaky.

Congratulations to FV45's DS1! An A in AS maths this year with all the crap that's been going on in exams is a fantastic result.

Sorry to hear it's crap at home otherwise. Monday today: fresh start to the week, offices are open, you can make some phone calls and get the ball rolling again.

We are back.
Fabulous holiday. Perfect.

Back to hell.
No movement with mortgage.
He's making no sign of moving.
House was disgusting.
He's "booked" times with DS2 and also asking to take him away for a month (Asia) in the winter. Not happening.

DS1 got A in AS maths. That's good.

Same anxieties have returned with a bang - feel urge to get out and exercise, stomach in knots, shaky.

Glad you had a fantastic holiday.

Big, big congrats to DS! He must be really chuffed and proud.

Stupid mortgage people. Sadly you are going to need to give them a push forward.

Take care of you and try to look after yourself, I know it seems at the moment that food and excersise is the only thing you have control over at the moment but that will change.

FV45 I have NCed but you gave me support a couple of months ago in the process of leaving my husband. I check in here to see how you are. You may not feel like it but I think you are doing so well. You will get there. You are strong. And it will be so worth it.

Ok so far. He came back to make a mess. I went for walk. Then he left with DS2.

Mortgage chased up and find it was sent 17th. He gets "reasonable time" [hollow laugh] to sign it so I have to hold tight until 31st.

Good that it's moving, just hope I can make it. It should be ok this week as I am not working so can just bugger off.

dobby I didn't really equate my need to exercise and my eating issues with control but that's exactly it. I thought I'd put some weight on while away but I didn't.

Speaking as an ex bulimic control is exactly what it is and obviously more as well but I was guessing that you were feeling as I did when my life was being controlled by another.

So it's a waiting game to see if he responds within that time, at least there is a definite date that he has to work to.

Wow! Congratulations to your ds! A for Maths is not just good, it's bloody brilliant!!!

Good news that you have a date re the mortgage now, roll on 31st. Is that the date by which he has to sign? What happens then?

I wonder, when you are no longer bei controlled by the wankbadger, whether your current needs for control over eating/exercising will loosen?

Hmmm, the 31st isn't any sort of golden date, only that if he hasn't signed by then, he can be chased by mortgage people.
Once he's signed then it will still be a few weeks until deed is in my name and he has his money.

But its something.

dobby I'm sorry you've had an ED. I do quickly get back to more healthy habits so I am not going to worry too much about it now.