The ignoring....gaaaa

[jellybean2000]

That is all.
Yes, I'm divorcing him.
He will continue to stoop to whatever method he can to control, upset and anger me.
Delay, delay, delay.

I've been here for a while but NC a while ago.

No, there hasn't been more said about the car. There won't be. Non-communication is one of his strengths. It will just happen.

Yes, he has the money to move out.

I am a bit more calm now. Called Samaritans. I challenge anyone not to feel more calm after listening to a beautifully gentle Geordie accent.
Was still crying though, so went to see neighbour for physical hug and general off loading.

Have emailed solicitor's assistant to ask to talk to Sol. Still don't know whether I have courage. I have been talked out of it (or maybe talked around it) so many times.

The GP asked whether I wanted to see him again in two weeks. I said no as I got the feeling he was thinking "what's the point", but have just made an appt anyway as it does help me to focus my feelings and compare how I'm doing with earlier appts (worse today it seems, but had he seen me last week I would have got a gold star).

Thank you everyone.

I get some time on my own this afternoon I think.

Please don't feel like that, you've come so far.

You're dealing with a manipulative, abusive man the best way you know how. One step at a time. You're finding the strength to do more and more.

We all have things we regret doing or not doing in the past.
Thing is, we do the best that we can do at the the time. I'm sure as hell you have been doing your very best, FV.
Hang on in there

I am going for non-mol.

Am writing my statement this afternoon (cheaper that way). GP is writing supporting letter. Sol will send it Tue or maybe Mon.
Ex parte, so if judge decides not worthy then stbx will never know.
If granted stbx will be issued with it, along side court date for us both to attend (shit).

I am wrung out, but feel strong with the support I am receiving.

Right now I am more scared of NOT doing something to protect myself and children.

Gosh - massive step!!!
Well done OP.
I hope it goes well and you can get this gobshite out of your hair sooner rather than later.
Try to have a good weekend.
Although I fear it might be a bit sleepless thinking about what might happen next week.
Fingers crossed for you!

Well done OP. Thinking of you and hoping it goes ok.

Well done! Sometimes getting things started is the hardest step. I hope it's granted and I hope he sorts himself out before any possible court date. He is going to have to move out at some point so why not now, it's not like he is giving up any of his legal rights. So what happens with a non mol - I guess it doesn't mean he has to leave?

He said he was moving out in Jan 2015.

No, non-mol is to stop him harassing and threatening me etc.
My GP is right - I need to take control.

Occ order is the one to make him leave and MUCH harder to get, especially in EA cases. You can't do it ex parte except in absolute crisis...and police would be involved then I guess.

I am trying to condense 50 pages of diary misery into 4 pages of concise misery. Nothing will happen before Monday now so I will stop and sit in my garden.

Everyone is out. stbx and DS2 cycled to someone's house (a new friend of Daddy's I think....bleugh) and DS1 is at band practice. I will leave to collect him just as the sodding Euros start. Ages ago I wondered whether he'd be out by today.

I've just pumped my first at that news. Well done 45

Thank you all. It's comforting to see the lurkers de-lurk to offer support.

I did this on a good day. (I mean I didn't have a good day, just in a logistical sense).
I have the weekend to get used to the idea, and to write my kick ass statement, before it all kicks off next week. Gulp.

dobby if it is granted ex parte we will both have to go to court.

I am not even thinking about how I will feel if it is not granted...one of the reasons I have been holding back, despite being told by WA, police, solicitor and counsellor over the course of the last year or so that I have grounds.

You are very brave, i hope you get the result you want and fast .

I'm a FV50 BTW

Do you race Kr1s?

STBX has allowed DS2 on trampoline without a net. Sigh...another thing to confront him about.
We used to be united in this with DS1 (more common to not have nets when they first became really popular about 10 years ago).

YY but not this season , injury problems . So off right now to volunteer. But I'm clearly not in your league if you can get 3rd female ( unless it's a small Parkrun ) .

So I understand the bit about running keeping you sane . Or in my case holding onto the small thread of sanity i still have left .

And I get the socks thing.

Hope your STBX isn't too much of a shit this weekend .

As you said you like it when MNers delurk, I'm doing just that, 45!

You are doing incredibly well. KOKO!

Kr1s It wasn't a park run, just a local fun run, but actually yes, I am pretty good! I am right at the bottom of FV45 (with a fierce rival still in FV40 until Nov) so am really enjoying all the podium finishes! Does me good it does!

I hope you get over your injury soon, it has been one of my biggest fears - proper terrifying actually. If I couldn't run I think I would have gone under a long time ago.

Ha ha conker thank you!

stbx has been out all day today and I had a really good day with my boys. Really, really good. He's working most of tomorrow as well so another day of respite. Hoorah! I need it before it all kicks off next week.

I've been writing my statement for my non-mol this evening which is very, very hard obviously. I should go to bed.

Go girl, well done!

I've been away so reading the last few days in one go.

KOKO

Stomach churning. Dry mouth. Shaky.
I hope I can get through this week and end it with the legal protection to keep me safe from his EA.

another lurker. 17 years of EA abuse and have now told husband that we need to move forward with divorce and now he doesn't know if he wants one!

anyway FV45. I've been reading your thread over the past few days and I can see such a difference in you. You are doing amazingly well. You are making massive strides but being in the middle you can't see your progress.

He will not win, because you are not letting him and will not let him. Keep going and your home will soon become your castle without the massive turd spoiling the atmosphere.

sending hugs and .

Delighted you had a good time with the boys, so important for both you and them.

Hope this week brings you what you need. Will you get a decision the same day it goes in?

One day at a time FV, one day at a time

Of course you can - day by day.

dobby I hope so. Ex parte orders are heard the same day. It has to be in place by the 17th otherwise - as far as I am concerned anyway.
I have sent my statement, 2 from friends and a GP letter. It's been hard to relive it.

He knows I have started to move DDs from the joint to my account as the STUPID council tax people sent a letter addressed to both of us despite me asking to only send an email to me, which they said they would do. Incompetent fools. I complained. He didn't kick off though.

I don't offer support very often because I suck at finding the right words and tend to be a bit too problem-focussed, but I too am momentarily delurking to cheer you on, FV. You might not feel strong but you really really are, and you're doing amazingly well in ridiculously difficult circumstances. Every day brings you one day closer to freedom and happiness.