The ignoring....gaaaa

[jellybean2000]

That is all.
Yes, I'm divorcing him.
He will continue to stoop to whatever method he can to control, upset and anger me.
Delay, delay, delay.

I've been here for a while but NC a while ago.

I'm sorry, this is so shit. Hope DS2 is home now.

Feeling very, very low.
Lost my fight today.

They got back gone 9, then he said DS2 could watch telly, so bed at 9.30.

He's demanding to have him this morning before he goes to work, and tomorrow morning.

I'm losing my son

FV, surely hanging onto the house is not worth the damage he is doing to your mental health. Maybe moving into a flat with DS2 and selling the house is something you should be giving serious thought to. I know you said DS1 wouldn't go with you, but if he makes that choice he must be willing to deal with his father's behaviour. Take your son and your car and go somewhere free of the memories of this fuckwit. Moving can be a real adventure for children, it doesn't have to be framed as a massive disruption for him, and let's face it, he's as much a victim of this behaviour as you are.

You won't lose your son, don't go giving up now. When he has gone to work you will have your time with your son.

Doesn't seem like he has received the email, the not knowing must be causing you untold anxiety.

Hang in there.

I'm baffled by the suggestion to move into a flat.
That's a huge effort, you can't just up and move.
I am entirely financially responsible for the house and I can't afford to run 2 households. DS1 depends on me for all school transport.

Am I missing something?

I'm sorry, I thought I'd read something earlier in the thread where someone raised the possibility and you dismissed it because DS1 wouldn't go with you. Ignore me if I've confused you with someone else or misread something.

I am so sorry he's putting you through this. Iamdobby is right, you won't lose your son. Let him have the best of you when you're with him. Hang in there, this won't go on forever.

I wish I could figure a way to make your stbxh uncomfortable enough with the living situation that he pulls his finger out. I think I remember rightly that he has it pretty easy financially as things stand, nothing to pay on car even. Life would be very different if he had to pay housing, living and car himself! Which I guess is why he is in no hurry. What does he do now for food and does he pay some of the car insurance etc? Does he pay anything toward the electricity?

I know how anxious you are regarding the solicitors letter but the alternative is to do nothing and this just doesn't move forward.

Having said that does anyone know if there is any way this could be pushed any faster through the courts, an emergency order or the like?

josian No, you're remembering correctly. Not wanting to leave DS1 in the home is just one reason I don't want to leave. Sorry if I jumped down your throat, I know you are trying to help and it's appreciated.

The financial settlement won't go on beyond the Court date which I haven't received yet, but should be in a couple of months. Once he's got the behaviour letter then things should become more tolerable. He may accept our new offer - he has 14 days to respond.

dobby He contributes NOTHING to the running of the home. Food - I've been getting less and less for him each week, yet he still manages to scarf all the nice apples for instance. I have hidden this weeks Pink Ladies in my cupboard alongside my nice frying pan and saucepan (since he ruins everything and never washes up).
If someone had told me last year that I'd be doing such things I'd have thought it was incredibly petty, but it's just small steps in me gaining control.

He doesn't even pay for the diesel he uses never mind anything else.

So this morning, he went out on bike, me and boths DSs went to boot camp (outside, in the village with lovely people, such good fun...endorphins!), then I rushed back with DS2 and made sure we were OUT before stbx came back. Turned my phone off, left it at home and off we went. Only to Aldi, Tesco and Timpson but it was time together and a finger up to him. Got back and he aggressively asked whether there was a reason I couldn't do as he asked. Told him I wanted to go out.
He had also sent nasty txt and called me. Ignored.

Within 1/2hr of him going to work he'd sent me a txt about plans for tomorrow. Turned my phone off. On and on and on.

Been sick with the ADs, but other than that had a respite for 7 1/2hrs!

Glad you had a little bit of rest bite today, and you had a bit of time with your sons.

He really has it good with you, should have saved up a deposit by now! [winks]

He really takes the piss... Not even fuel in the car.

How can I save a voice mail?
I have iPhone 5s

Thanks

When you get the option to play your voicemail there's a little box with an arrow which gives you options to email, what's app or just save to voice memos xx

I don't see that.

Mines a iPhone 6 but I'm sure there should be similar on yours? Hope this helps x

Thanks.

When I press the voice mail icon it just starts calling the voice mail.

OP, did you manage to save the message?

I haven't had a chance to try yet.

Ok, I have same phone as you and you have to touch the message then you should see that square with the arrow.

I don't know what you mean "touch the message".
Perhaps I am accessing my voice mail a different way?

I click on green phone app and see what's in first photo.

I click on answer phone and it just calls it up and I see what's in second photo..

I see recents is lit up, do you do into voicemail over on the right of your first image?

Yes

At the end of the message does it not give you the option to press a number button to save it?

Yes, but that's just for a certain number of days. I want it for longer....evidence.

Don't worry...I'll ask one of my geeky colleagues. I might try plugging it into Mac, see if some other options show.

Thanks