The ignoring....gaaaa

[jellybean2000]

That is all.
Yes, I'm divorcing him.
He will continue to stoop to whatever method he can to control, upset and anger me.
Delay, delay, delay.

I've been here for a while but NC a while ago.

Well it keeps you out of jail
Hope you had fun watching the marathon.
Head down, ignore when ever you can. You'll get through it.

Bad morning.
DS2 has done the same thing 3 school days in a row.
Got all ready, stbx takes him in and then DS2 crumbles at school gate and he brings him home again. He was totally, totally fine all w/e, so obv something else going on.

Talked to head who encouraged me to bring him in. Just done that and left DS2 with her. DS2 wants me to do school runs. stbx won't like that. AT ALL. And what do I tell him?

Oh and he was quite happy to go out on his bike this morning while I'm working and taking care of 'sick' child.

I am not getting much done. Solicitor calling at 10am. MOT at midday.
Thank heavens my boss knows what's going on and is being very understanding - I love my job but my chaotic life is not allowing me to get on with it.

The marathon was great. I ran it last year. Amazing.

Will the head follow up with a meeting with you? I'm guessing they will talk to your son.

The sooner this is resolved the better (sorry, understatement of the year), is there any way you and your children can move out? I know that's not ideal or advised legally but I just don't see how much longer you can cope with this.

Does your son open up to you? I would be as open and honest with them as you can be.

I've been emailing the head. It's OK. She knows me very well.

I have a good relationship with DS2, but he's only 7 - I didn't think he had anything he needed to open up to me about

I think he's confused but can't articulate it. He is sold on stbx's cheap methods (sweets, stickers, board games, rough and tumble, junk food), but actually I think craves stability and a parent not a friend.

There is so much going on at the moment it's hardly surprising that it's a confusing time for your 7yr old. Even with the best will in the world at trying to keep everything smooth and normal for him he will still be aware but probably, as you said, find it hard to articulate it.

By opening up I only meant with exactly why he doesn't like his dad taking him to school, I'm sure your relationship with him is close, and clearly he feels 'safer' with you doing the school run.

You are doing everything you can do.

So sad right now.

I hope you're doing OK... we are here if you need a place to talk x

Thank you.

I hope you're having a slightly better day today?
What is happening with the solicitor?

Today isn't too bad. Woke to find stbx had already buggered off on his bike. May peace reign!

Unfortunately DS2 is still struggling to go into school without a few tears. He's totally fine once he's in and the head and his teacher are being lovely.

The solicitor stand in is hopefully preparing a first draft of financial settlement today. I do wish they would write in plain English rather than wanky solicitor language that you have to read 10 times to understand. I do not expect people to understand the terminology I use in my own work (molecular biology) so it does annoy me and makes me feel like I'm being demanding when I write back for explanation.

And I called Barclays (see thread in AIBU if you're interested) and had a good old rant with someone who got it! Ha!

Right...on with the day.

Bad day today. Wandering around crying like unhinged person maybe I am unhinged
Don't even care anymore.

I really feel for you, it shows you are human and he is EA doesn't it - he doesn't care that your DC are caught in the crossfire because he refuses to do the best/right thing and move out

So sorry FV45 I don't know what to say.

Will this help you get through the day?

One day it will be over and you'll be free of him.
I'd send you that flower thingy, but I don't know how...

You are not unhinged!
You have been in an awful situation for a long time and it's taking it's toll.
Hardly surprising.
Keep going.
We all know you do this and get through it.
for you from me too!

Thank you. I read your replies earlier and they helped. Am thinking I should open the video when the kids aren't about, right?!

The day unravalled somewhat. Ended up crying in a layby (had to pull over as couldn't see through tears). Managed to get hold of a friend and popped round for a cuppa. He then went out so I've had some calm time with DS1 (and filling in bursary renewal form - hard when solicitor has my P60 and well as all things financial being so uncertain. They know the situation though so I will do what I can. They have reassured me that they do what they can not to disrupt education, especially between L and U 6th).

Have planned long run with friend tomorrow. It's getting too easy to say no to company (also effort to arrange things), but just being with my friend today showed me that I need to accept offers when people are trying to be kind and help. Have to go out very early to accommodate the rest of the family ignores fact that stbx was out on bike for 5hrs today

Feel worn out, drinking too much coffee. Not sleeping well.

Am going to see GP, but can't get appt till 11th May - though I guess if I present my sobbing, dispairing self at the front desk they might find an appt.

You are doing so well, most of us would have cracked by now. Keep saying it but hang in there and take whatever offers from friends come along.

He made me miss my run this morning. Hate him for that.

Hate him get angry with him.
You aren't surprised though.
Did he know about the run?
Can you go later in the day?

Yes he knew. It's the one time in the week I go out early.
Might be able to go out later.

There will come a day when he can no longer control how you live, you will be free.

I ran!

You sure did!
You're definitely not mad or unhinged. You're having a very normal reaction to a horribly stressful situation.
God knows what's going on in his head?? Is he just refusing to accept the fact you are divorcing? - not that whatever is going on in his tin head matters.

Xxx

No, he accepts the divorce. He's just (as promised) making it as hard for me as possible.
I actually don't spend too much time wondering about what goes on in his head, it would be too painful to reconcile it with the man I married. Even when our own relationship broke down I took comfort in thinking that at least he was a good father. I am questioning that now as he sidelines DS1 and uses DS2 as a pawn.
I can see it's the actions of a desperate man, but I have NO sympathy when the kids are involved. Sure, be a bastard to me, but not to the kids (directly or indirectly).