Tonight found keepsake card in DP wallet

[Haribogirl]

So tonight snooping!! Yes I no but I have reason too

I found this keepsake plastic card that you give people with
FOR MY SOULMATE
with all things on it like
You are the only one for me
It really means so much
knowing that you care
And I love our life together
And the happy times we share
I LOVE YOU

SIGN TO HIM .... From HER .... On the back

What the fuck!!!!!

He's out tonight, and I want to text who the fuck is ...... But he'd have a story ready
But then I want to see his face when I confront him!! See what lies he can come up with!

Still part of me tells him he's not coming home, but I want to see his fucking face when I throw it at him

What would you say,

I'm sorry he won't talk to you about this and I hope you get answers soon.
Not fair for him to go out leaving you in that state either

Poor you OP.
Don't let him gaslight you/make you feel guilty or tell you you're silly for asking questions/not accepting his shit excuses.

Wow what a nasty piece of work.

yep, he has decided to do the denial thing where he will keep denying until blue in the face hoping you will eventually let it drop.

It is so cruel.

That's the word I was looking for last night
Gas lighting !!

Like it's in my head!! I sent the card and signed it and put it there!!
Trying to make me think I'm paranoid(if I am it because he's made it like that)

He's out pretending again! And I'm left with shit going through my head(I'm the normal one)

There's absolutely NO chance of him leaving here!! For one he wouldn't pay mortgage on this place and rent another.
Told him last night to go, ..... Can have you now, but still a fiction story I've made up

Just say Sell the house!!!! Why won't he?? It's as much his. Probably to say
She left me!!!!
Well he can go f...
I'll wait till I've got my ducks in a row.

I'm having real trouble understanding your posts - he won't leave the house because he won't pay rent? on your house or somewhere else?

Re read
He pays mortgage here
And if he goes as to pay rent to landlord!!

He won't go to her(if there is this person)
As that means, he doing what he so greatly is denying Another woman

Ducks in a row? Good idea. If I were you I'd play it very cool, even lie outright, and go and see a solicitor on the quiet.

He's shown you who he is and he's the enemy. An enemy who plays extreme psychological games. Get advice on your £80k/share in the house and get rid of him. No relationship with a man like this will ever work out well.

So you're convinced that if he moves out he won't move in with her? Just to maintain the lie that she's not real? Or to protect his financial interests? Or for some other reason? So much for 'soulmates'

Probably to protect his financial interest, because if he told mt the truth then he would know that I would play hard and get all what is due to me, instead hes trying to convince me its in my head.
Money is v important to him, as that's all he says is " it's for my retirement"

Just sent me a text, asking I'm I ok? Wtf does he expect me to say
Yer I'm great!

TBH, in your shoes I think I'd reply "Better now. Can we just forget this and put it behind us? I don't want to fight x" and then get my actress head on for the next few weeks.

If he's going to play head games, you have to too, to protect YOUR financial interests.

Are you married OP? Chuck him out.

She can't bitta, he's joint owner of the house. More's the pity.

Just sent text back

Like you really care, no need to pretend any longer!
You can't admit it, when it stares you in the face(plastic keepsake card)
How pathetic
Saying I did it

Couldn't ignore! Just had to say what wanted to say to him again(waste of time I know)

That will be end of contact now, as he'll think
She's off again!!

It's really hard!!

It will easier once you've decided what you want to do.

I am beyond confused with this OP and I really apologise if there is something glaringly obvious that I have missed, but situation as I understand it is :

1. You are nosing through his stuff because you have trust issues.
2. You find a 'keepsake' card in an old wallet
3. You believe he must having affair with this person.
4. You have confronted him and he has denied it.
5. He won't move out because he can't afford mortgage and to rent somewhere.

Can I just ask. Do you have any other 'evidence' other than a card in a old wallet, that I have missed ?

look - he may never, ever, ever admit he has cheated or is cheating.
even on his pigging deathbed.
make your choice. you don't need him admitting anything to do so.

He's not going to admit it.

The signs have been threre fo months, haven't they?

Yes others
I love you & you melt my heart bars of chocolate hidden in old jacket pocke
Receipt for ladies watch £169 (said he took it back! No refund receipt said he threw it away never ever does that!
Box of durex ( all there) but !!! I don't need them

I know he won't admit, just thought if pushed he may spill! And man up and admit
But obviously doesn't want anymore questions or confrontation if he did that

Never replied to my text, which I knew he'd do!

I can guess what he will do on return
Either talk about the event he went to, and act like nothing's happened
Or
Stonewall me, until I say something

You'll drive yourself mad and probably get nowhere pushing for him to spill.

Have you seen a solicitor?

(The stuff on your thread about shares of the house from before xmas is so telling about his attitude. I think he's intending to screw you over financially re the house if he can.)

Op I've seen all your threads.

I hope you find the strength to call it a day before he drives you totally paranoid.

The condoms....the watch....and now this.

He will not come clean.

He's cowardly but also extremely cruel.

Get your ducks in a row and get back to your family.

Hmm. Given you've been living in your house while he pays all the mortgage for the last decade or so, and you protected your initial deposit with a deed of trust, you're hardly likely to come out in a bad financial position, are you? I'd just get the ball rolling on the house sale, but as you have no children together it should be pretty simple. I'd have thought with your 80k deposit back PLUS half the equity as agreed in your DoT, you'll have plenty to buy somewhere outright.

It's not the money with me! Never as been I'd rather be in a loving relationship.
I was advised to protect my equity for my previous house, I didn't even know that was possible. He's called me and solicitor Bitches for ripping him off
I wouldn't say I've got plenty to buy outright!

That's all he ever brings up is the f.... DOT every time, doesn't matter that I've said
In the event Off!! If we split up!

He said I don't won't your money from previous house that's your
! I want my half
That included the mortgage interest that you pay back for borrowing from BS for The mortgage.

Why should I back down from DOT, when he's had thousand over last 2 years and not given me a penny, or bunch flowers,chocolates Nothing!

If he successfully argues that you ONLY get your £80k back, you have a problem. Even half of a £250k house is only going to go so far.

You're not far off retirement are you?