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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Tonight found keepsake card in DP wallet

130 replies

Haribogirl · 18/03/2016 21:17

So tonight snooping!! Yes I no but I have reason too

I found this keepsake plastic card that you give people with
FOR MY SOULMATE
with all things on it like
You are the only one for me
It really means so much
knowing that you care
And I love our life together
And the happy times we share
I LOVE YOU

SIGN TO HIM .... From HER .... On the back

What the fuck!!!!!

He's out tonight, and I want to text who the fuck is ...... But he'd have a story ready
But then I want to see his face when I confront him!! See what lies he can come up with!

Still part of me tells him he's not coming home, but I want to see his fucking face when I throw it at him

What would you say,

OP posts:
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SuperFlyHigh · 18/03/2016 22:46

I thought I'd recognised your username.

Anyway it seems as though this has been going on few months since last October was one of your posts, I'd say it's 99.9% he's cheating or has cheated.

Whether with same person or different i can't tell, if it were me to be honest I'd boot him out. No questions asked as you said he'd have a story ready.

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WorthMoreThanThat · 18/03/2016 22:49

Wait till he's home

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SuperFlyHigh · 18/03/2016 22:49

Good luck with it.

I saw you post he'd retired or near it. My stepdad cheated on my mum I think (almost sure he had more than one opportunity to do so in past) and she won't kick him out.

The crunch came recently when I was over after work having a meal with them and turns out a solicitor (I used to work with them knew the name, they'd changed names) rang their house phone rather than email, probably to do with wills or advice, you have never seen my stepdad move so fast or be defensive so fast. I'm sure he is or was up to something.

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red333 · 18/03/2016 23:02

Sending hugs Thanks

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Only1scoop · 18/03/2016 23:02

How ancient is the wallet?

Why did you snoop were you suspicious generally what's been happening?

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StealthPolarBear · 18/03/2016 23:10

Is she married op?

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Ginkypig · 18/03/2016 23:14

Sorry you going through shit!

We'll be here once the confrontation has happened whatever the outcome

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GooseberryRoolz · 18/03/2016 23:37

What were the other threads in October?

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FlyRussianUnicorn · 18/03/2016 23:42
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GooseberryRoolz · 18/03/2016 23:48

Thanks

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LittleLegs25 · 19/03/2016 00:01

Don't swallow the lies, good luck

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LovePGtipsMonkey · 19/03/2016 00:02

the walletiis old but the CARD is new, for those who missed that info. He's put in there so that Op doesn't see it presumably.

Amazing how these men manage to lead a double life and how their OWs are patiently waiting in the wings...urgh!

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BastardGoDarkly · 19/03/2016 00:12

I hope you're alright op.

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peggyundercrackers · 19/03/2016 00:24

To be honest you sound a bit hysterical. Instead of getting all excited and shouting and swearing why not just ask him what's going on - communicate the way normal people do.

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AcrossthePond55 · 19/03/2016 00:25

I expect I'm too late, but before you show it to him, take a picture of the front and back on your phone.

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GooseberryRoolz · 19/03/2016 02:14

The three threads together don't sound good.

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BastardGoDarkly · 19/03/2016 10:13

It's really quite normal to be panicked and angry in this situation Peggy Hmm

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MissBattleaxe · 19/03/2016 10:53

Good advice to photograph it.

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Ginkypig · 19/03/2016 12:11

Being hysterical on here is very different than real life Peggy!

Imo she sounds angry not hysterical.

Hope your ok op

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Haribogirl · 19/03/2016 14:14

Hi

Thank you (some people) for your advice/concern.

I'd like to explain I was in shock SHOCK! Do you know how that feels, not an hysterical mess and I can communicate NORMALLY THANKS

Well he came home as normal, went upstairs to get changed then came got a wine and sat down.
Starting rabbiting on about nothing really.

So about 5 mins in
I say who's .... Done know what your talking about!!
Yes you do, the person you have been cheating on me with. The one that as undying love for you and the happy times you share. So the card says

More crap about he doesn't know, then I shouldn't go looking through his things(which I shouldn't , but if you've nothing to hide what's the problem)
He does mine, goes in my purse, gone to money machine for cash, PIN number
But yet I'm not allowed to touch his.

It got to the point where HE was being ridiculous WITH WHAT HE WAS SAYING
like I put it there, in his wallet AND SIGNED IT, WTF

Lots of going through the well
You did that, you did this. Crap
Really wasted energy know I look back
No matter how many times I ask just admit the truth, the card says it all
Got to that's all he could say was
WELL SELL THE HOUSE,

No remorse, no admission, kept saying its in my head
And why would he still be here, doing garden, paying for my car to be repaired etc
If he isn't now, then I'm sure he as been in the past, and forgot about this card given to him.

This morning he was again talking about anything but(I cant speak about mundane things) then we I do mention about last night I get
OH DONT START AGAIN.
HE BASICALLY WILL NOT OWN UP,

My eyes look like I've done 10 rounds with Tyson through getting upset(oh but he did get me some ice !!)

He's gone out now to something that's been organised for months,
Asked was I going out, ugh like this!!
Said he would texts later , to CHECK IM OK

OP posts:
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RandomMess · 19/03/2016 14:19

He clearly thinks if he keeps denying it you will believe him Shock

So sorry that your relationship is over Flowers

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EweAreHere · 19/03/2016 14:23

Do you have time to pack up his things and put them outside?

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BastardGoDarkly · 19/03/2016 14:28

Get rid, the blokes a cheating, selfish, uncaring arsehole.

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Redderred · 19/03/2016 14:29

Sorry but he is 100000000% cheating on you. This and all the other things he's done and you've found are conclusive evidence.
He won't admit it.

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FluffyPersian · 19/03/2016 14:34

Seems like you need to shut up, and forget about it... as if you do anything else, he'll get annoyed. Stay where you are like a good little woman, don't question him as it's all in your head. Should you say anything, he'll get defensive and after a while, will just ignore you and pretend it's not happening.

If you want to leave, you'll have to be the proactive one, as at the moment, he's got you.. and God knows how many women. Why would he leave?

Sell the house, stop engaging him and leave - If he pretends to carry on as normal, keep repeating 'We're no longer together, this doesn't matter' etc...

I couldn't live like that.

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