Onwards and Upwards!

[Hushabyemountain98]

Good morning. Welcome to my new thread. I hope that all my MN friends will join me and maybe a few new ones!xx

Thanks Pisco.
It is strange. No it certainly isn't where we wanted to be.
We do get told that life will be better and we have to believe it!
I think it is the not knowing that is the frightening bit.
I do not know what we would have done with out our friends and family and our MN family?
I think we need a reality check every now and again!
I had a nice coffee with my friend and a chat.
She sees it so different to me. I can only see what I have lost.
She thinks I was better off losing it!!
She thought I looked better than when she saw me last.
I was going to cut the grass but it is raining again!
Must try and concentrate on getting something practical done.
Have a good day xx

Evening Hush. Did you manage mow the grass?

Evening friends, I have a couple of reality friends , one the other week made me sing let it go all night , she rang next day to say sorry , however yes I had taken it on board , I wish it was that easy but like notonyour said months ago we must not allow ourselves to wallow in this grief so much ( or something similar ) but both lots of advice helped me , a year on how much more time am I going to spend wasting energy on a narcissistic man ???

Hi Pisco. No I failed! It rained so I didn't do it. I have sorted out a lot of bank statements though!
How are you?xx

Hello. All good here. Mostly! Don't worry about the grass, it will get cut sooner or later. Well done on the bank statements, it's a boring job. Did you manage to eat any if those sausage rolls today?
Hi kirk, how are you?

Glad all good with you Pisco.
I have had two sausage rolls. They were good even though I shouldn't say so myself!
Good night xx

Good evening Kirk.
I think it is a waste of time and energy. But we cannot help it. Hopefully in time it will happen less and less.
Good night xx

Kirk - when we have lived with these men who are narcissistic etc it really does take longer to get over things and without the appropriate help or approach I think we can get stuck in a groove for longer than usual. I know that I only started to come to terms with things once I realised I couldn't get over things in the normal sense because nothing about my situation had been normal given my husband was such a special little flower with a unique personality type. I had to be helped as the wife or victim of that particular type of person and not as the wife or victim of your common garden gnome type of cheat. And I can recall almost dancing across the car park after my first session with my counsellor who agreed with me regarding my husband more than likely being a sociopath because she just 'got it and got me'.

As you all know I still see a counselor and this new person I'm seeing because the one mentioned above has moved away has really helped me to understand the enormity being an abused wife, and that I'm still traumatized to quite an extent by what what on even though I am making a lot of headway into my new life.

It helps me to know these things, that I was an abused wife, that all women involved with manipulators are abused women and just as a battered woman needs specialised help - so do we. And it's when we don't get the help we need that we get stuck in the groove mentioned earlier.

On a different note even though it's all connected - I started CBT this week. I had to do the thing called Exposure Hierarchy and what came out just wasn't what I thought would have come out. It was quite a surprise in that nothing in that part of my session was related to my husband - it was in fact all about me! So even that was progress. Scary progress. So scary that I came home and threw up. But I'm glad because it now means that at very long last focus is now shifting away from him and on to other things.

This getting better can be seriously hard work and we should never underestimate just how hard it can be. But can we get over it alone and without help? I don't think so.

Husha pass the plate of sausage rolls around next time please

Good Afternoon notonyur.
I hope that you are well?
I will pass my sausage rolls around next time!😀Xx

Good evening all,
I hope you have all had a good day?
I have been sorting out paperwork again.
Have had to stop as it was starting to hurt my neck and shoulders being sat hunched over for so long!
I hope you all have a nice evening xx

Good evening Hush
Good evening all. Is it time for Irish Mist and Bailey's yet?

Ha! We were posting at the same time. Is the paperwork done yet, or is there mountains of it?

Good evening Pisco.
I think it might be time for Irish Mist and Baileys!
It might help the inside of my cheek, thats my excuse anyway!

I still haven't found my the details of my previous counsellor.
I have found a lot of other things, talk about 'Deja Vu!'

What have you been up to today?
I hope you have a nice evening xx

Today I have been clearing the garage, again. Twice a year job. Goodness knows where all the crap comes from! And, of course, there is all the stuff you can't get rid of in case it becomes useful. There's no hope of ever parking a car in there.

You have been busy Pisco. My garage is a mess. I cannot face it yet!
I think when I do get in there I am going to have to be ruthless!
I know what you mean about not getting rid of stuff just incase you may need it at a later date! A bit like the hoarder programmes!
xx

There are two filing cabinets of paperwork Pisco.
Not all that organised either so really need to sort what I need and bin the rest.
I have this feeling of total inadequacy tonight.
Why didn't I make more of my life before?
xx

I think you've had an interesting life, and there is plenty more to come. Remember my elderly neighbours? They'd swap with you in a heartbeat to have some more time xx

Thanks Pisco.
Yes I have to be grateful and look to the future.
It looks like there is just the two of us tonight?xx

We shall keep each other company! X

Popping in to say good evening (or maybe good night).
It's been a busy week with a 5.00 am start yesterday but have a nice peaceful weekend ahead. Including sorting out a shameful pile of paperwork with various things overdue buried in it.
The weather outlook is shocking so have no expectations of anything other than wind, rain and watching West Wing on catch up - am part way through series 2 at the moment.
Hush - that's good progress with the paperwork. Get that shredder out - and remember the bonkers woman - 'Does this item bring me joy? No? Then bin it!!'

Noton - you really are doing some serious work aren't you? Am full of admiration. Good night all. xx

Noton , I admire your strength and embrace your correspondence within this thread. I have been out all day but I am always to read your thread hush , good night God bless all ❤️

Good night Louisa and kirk xx

Good morning Pisco, Louisa and Kirk,

I am sorry that I was not good company last night but I fell asleep and woke up in the middle of the night still dressed with lights and tv still on!

Louisa I hope you have a nice peaceful weekend after your busy week.
Good luck with the paperwork. I did bin a lot yesterday. Ald
So trying to get certain papers in order for when needed.
I don't think there is much joy in paperwork but unfortunately do need to keep some of it!
Enjoy the West Wing!xx

I hope that you are ok Kirk? Any thing nice planned for the weekend? Or are you working? Xx

Sorry Pisco that I went to sleep but it was good that Louisa and Kirk stopped by for company. I hope that your evening was okay? Have a nice weekend xx

Morning hush. How are you this morning? I've hired a personal trainer to help lock me into better shape. His workouts are brutal!

What plans do you have for this weekend?