Got what's coming to me [CN added by MNHQ: possibly triggering content]

[Fairydust7715]

I don't know how to link my last posts but am more of a lurker on here than a poster but in short over a year ago I lost my fwb who I was actually in love with but never told him before he died, I then posted months later about sleeping with anyone who would have me.
I have carried on doing this and have lost count of how many men I have slept with but it's probably in the 100's which I feel sick about.
I meet these men on a hook up site and so far it's been ok, I don't enjoy it that much which is disgusting in itself but I feel I need it.
Tonight I have met with a man who has really hurt me, I don't have anyone I can speak to about this in rl because it's embarrassing and it would shock even my closest friends.
I am bruised and bleeding although not life threatening but I hurt everywhere but can't even cry, I really don't know what to do.

Hope your ok op

Hope you are OK x

Hope everything is okay x

I really hope you went to the hospital and I really hope you believe all the posters who have told you you are worth caring for and have told the police. Doing nothing will stop the healing process ime.

Hope you got to A&E OP.
And not meaning to pressure you, but I really hope you found the courage to tell the police, so they can try to catch this evil bastard.

You're doing the right thing.

Thinking of you this morning Fairy

I hope everything went well last night and you've begun to stop blaming yourself. You said the DCs were back today - is there a close friend who can stay with you all tonight or for the next few days who can give you emotional support without you having to disclose details if you don't feel up to it?

You're so brave.

Well done on going to hospital and hopefully you'll find the strength to report this man. If only to save other mums, daughters, aunts etc from having to go through this.

I hope you feeling more comfortable this morning ❤️

How are you today OP?

It is not your fault. Consenting to sex, even with someone you don't know, doesn't mean he can rape you and leave you bleeding. I am so for you and hope you have reported this vile rapist to the police.

Be kind to yourself

Fairy I get your fear, I would share it. But the police will be discreet and your colleagues will not find out.

You didn't deserve it, consensual sex is not a crime, rape is.

Absolutely horrified to read this thread. I feel so bad for you OP. This isn't your fault - NO ONE deserves this to happen to them.

I really hope you are getting the help you need right now.

Please update us so we know you are ok.

xxxx

novemberchild - You are right, I was just saying there's so much more to life than meaningless sex. Which she herself said she feels sick about. I'm not judging her in any way.

Have been thinking about you. I hope you've been to A&E and got the treatment you needed, and I hope you believe that NONE OF THIS IS YOUR FAULT. You're not responsible for what someone else chose to do to you.

I can understand why you might not want to report this to the police, esp. if you work with them, but this man deserves to be caught and punished.

Do you think counselling would help you explore your feelings and come to terms with your friend's death?

Another one here still thinking of you Fairy.
Sending hugs

Just another one coming to see if you are ok

Thinking of you, Fairy
We are here if you ever need to talk

It's just worrying that I may come face to face with police that I have worked with, it's shame more than anything.

Fairy, if you encountered a police officer you knew in the course of doing your job, and they needed your help and assistance as a professional, would you be anything other than kind, discreet and compassionate to their crisis? Same goes for you.

This is not your fault, you are in no way to blame for the crime this man committed.

We're so sorry that you had to go through this FairyDust

We're just going to add a brief note to your thread title, so folks are aware of the content.

We can see you've already received some brilliant advice and support here - please do get in touch with us if there's anything further we can do.

Thank you all for your words last night, I got home early this morning having been treated at the hospital, no serious damage done luckily but it's all going to take a while to heal.
It's all mortifying tbh but I spoke to the police last night and it's all in their hands now, I gave as much info to them as I could and I have to say that the policewoman I spoke to was really amazing, she sat with me for hours and made me feel safe enough to talk.
As horrifying as it all was I think this is the wake up call I needed, it's my fault that I put myself in this position in the first place but I'm still here and like the police said next time it might be a different story.

It's not your fault you were raped. You trusted he would respect you. He didn't. That's all on him.

Well done for reporting this and getting treated - you have been so incredibly brave

Well done OP. That was very brave.

I am so sorry Hun ,I really hope you are ok .
I think your very brave for contacting the police and your bravery hopefully will stop this happening to another woman at the hands of this disgusting creature.