Got what's coming to me [CN added by MNHQ: possibly triggering content]

[Fairydust7715]

I don't know how to link my last posts but am more of a lurker on here than a poster but in short over a year ago I lost my fwb who I was actually in love with but never told him before he died, I then posted months later about sleeping with anyone who would have me.
I have carried on doing this and have lost count of how many men I have slept with but it's probably in the 100's which I feel sick about.
I meet these men on a hook up site and so far it's been ok, I don't enjoy it that much which is disgusting in itself but I feel I need it.
Tonight I have met with a man who has really hurt me, I don't have anyone I can speak to about this in rl because it's embarrassing and it would shock even my closest friends.
I am bruised and bleeding although not life threatening but I hurt everywhere but can't even cry, I really don't know what to do.

It doesn't matter what job you do op, rape is rape and you need to report this & probably seek medical help.

Please ring the police & tape crisis.

Can you get in touch with Rape Crisis? They will listen to you, understand you and support you.

You have been through a very difficult time which has made you vulnerable. You have been dealing with this in the only way that worked for you.
You don't deserve this, you didn't 'get what was coming'. You were raped and assaulted.
I'm so sorry this has happened to you.

• rape crisis.

Oh Fairy.

It wasn't coming to you, you have done nothing wrong and certainly nothing to deserve that. He's a predator who attacks women via dating sites because he knows that they will be too afraid of censure to report him. There is only one of you in this situation who has something coming and believe me lovely, it isn't you. Having lots of sex isn't a crime, attacking people is.

for you whatever your next steps are.

You're not a slag and you haven't done anything wrong. So sorry that this has happened to you op.

Ok have reported him to the site but not sure what they will do.
I need to think about calling the police, something is telling me not to do it but I really don't want this to happen to anyone else, I just don't know what to do.
I think medically wise I am ok, bites, bruises will heal, I am bleeding quite heavily though down there, sorry tmi so not sure what to do.

Please please please get help. You really need help and deserve it. Is there a way you could secretly report him? I am not sure what I am talking about but staying anonymous is an option that could be given to you considering your situation and vulnerability. He would hurt his next victim more I am sure.here is this hug from me. Xxx

Cross posted ,sorry

It's your decision, OP, but not reporting my rape is the biggest regret of my life. Looking back, there was tons of evidence that could have convicted him and I bet there is for you as well. It is possible to report it and have evidence stored without having to decide if you want to press charges or not - but you need to act relatively quickly.

How can I sit and tell them that really I am nothing but a slag that sleeps with anyone man that wants it This is not a historic crime and you don't have to give chapter and verse about any other encounters you may have had.

I am a social worker that has dealings with the police on a regular basis, I can't have anyone knowing Grief and lonlieness caused a profound lapse of judgement in your personal life. It happens to the most capable and seemingly confident professionals and you're no exception. The police can be exceedingly discreet and you have nothing to fear from calling them.

Notifying the site will have no effect whatsoever and, more particularly, if you don't have a crime number to back up your assertions about one of the members.

No-one deserves to be violated by another person and I have no doubt your lovely fwb would be horrified that you feel you 'had it coming'.

Please honour your friend's memory by ending this cycle of self-destruction. Regardless of what you may believe you deserve, he deserves more. Summons every last ounce of courage you possess; call the police and let them do their job and take care of you.

I think you should immediately th to put some ice to relieve the injury a bit. I think if it's that bad you could end up getting one toon and that would be terrible so pls seek help. I hope someone with real mnowledge will be here soon so just hang in there

Goddesofsmallthing
^THAT

Fairy, ^ what goddess said ^
Please take strength from the MNers here who will be with you in spirit as you call Rape Crisis initially.
Keep in touch, we care about you

Please call the police Fairy. You didn't "get what's coming" and it doesn't matter if you've slept with thousands of men. This man is scum, and deserves to be held accountable. Anything you report will be entirely confidential too.

Good chance of DNA from your property or your body too. Give it serious thought. Bet you're not the first this animal has assaulted.

Take care of yourself

If you are bleeding quite badly as a result of sex you more than likely need medical attention.

And the police are quite used to people who have sex, it really is not a big deal in relation to being attacked. They will not care how many all they will care about is this one because he has hurt you with out your consent.

you are not a slag. there's no such thing. you are single and free to sleep with whoever you choose!! it's no one's business. no means no and stop means stop whether it's the first guy ir the 300th guy. you don't deserve or have any of this coming to you because of how many men you have or haven't had sex with.

please get yourself checked out medically. so sorry

I do know what I have to do but I can't quite do it yet, it's true my fwb would be horrified to know what's happening, he was really one of the good guys, I just feel even now over a year later that he was my happiness and there's never going to be anyone like him.
My stomach is cramping and am in so much pain right now but maybe this is my wake up call, maybe I did get what's coming to me and I deserve this, I can't even think straight atm, this doesn't even sound like me.

Please phone the police and get medical help op. You really need to see a doctor as soon as possible. Please

Is there anyone in real life you could phone?

Please go to a hospital, I know it feels like you shouldn't because of your work but you really need to do this. Please look after yourself.

He also needs to be stopped from doing it to others

You didn't deserve this, nobody does

Please don't add hypocrisy to your self-imposed sins; think what you would advise and expect a client to do and prove to yourself that you're not a woman of straw.

Please phone the police Fairy, and let them look after you. You need to see a doctor if you're bleeding.

Nothing else matters except that you are ok. Nobody ever ever deserves to be hurt in this way. This is in no way your fault.

I'm sorry to ask, but does this piece of shit know where you live?

My closest friends all have kids so won't be able to help me atm, I have taken some painkillers so going to see if that helps so I can drive to a&e.
I do know I need to speak to the police as I would advice anyone else to do the same but I'm scared about what's going to happen, I love my job and don't want people losing respect for me, I feel it's my fault even though rationally I know it's not.

I am guessing, here, but the impression I get is that you consented to vaginal sex and that isn't what occured.

Aside from this being dangerous health-wise to you (if no condom was used, you need to think about HIV prophylaxis asap as well), I urge you to call the police right now. You will be able to talk to another woman. You have not done anything wrong - we are allowed to have sex and enjoy sex, too, and still nobody is allowed to hurt us.