Oh bloody hell [Images may be triggering - warning added by MNHQ]

[iamacompleteandutteridiot]

Name changed. My face is scratched up to shit. Can't leave the house. He is a complete and utter bastard. Reported him so many times and the police don't care. Then again, I am a fool for continuing to see him.

You don't DESERVE any of it

• any more than a person who repeatedly leaves their house unlocked deserves to keep being burgled. The burglars, if caught don't merit a more lenient sentence because their job was made easier.

Well done for calling the police OP. Is your sister with you now?

It's ok to call them back in a couple of hours to find out what they're doing if you've heard nothing.

But if she drops the complaint it won't go anywhere. Nor will he get deported unless he has overstayed. It sounds as if you want someone else to take the decision from you but I'm afraid that won't happen until things take a rather more serious turn.

I am not dropping the complaint. I am absolutely livid that this has happened. And last time I called the police, they didn't even bother to turn up. And yes that was the first time. He hasn't injured me this badly before. I am waiting for someone to call me back. Apologies to all who think I am a pathetic waste of police time.

Op, glad you called the police.
Can I also echo the freedom programme.
If you need help to find one pm me your area and I will find the nearest one

You're an intelligent and beautiful woman (I can tell from the pics, through the bruises). Thank God you don't live with him. Take it step by step. The police will come and take your statement and photographs. Best of luck. Stay safe.

The people who are being judgy fuckers haven't a clue what they're talking about OP. Don't heed them.

And some of you ought to read this:

www.nationaldomesticviolencehelpline.org.uk/support-a-friend-or-family-member-experiencing-domestic-violence.aspx

So what can you do to support her ?

Talk to her and help her to open up. You may have to try several times before she will confide in you
Try to be direct and start by saying something like, “I’m worried about you because …..” or “I’m concerned about your safety…”
<strong>Do not judge her</strong>
Listen to and believe what she tells you – too often people do not believe a woman when she first discloses abuse
Reassure her that the abuse is not her fault and that you are there for her
<strong>Don’t tell her to leave or criticise her for staying. Although you may want her to leave, she has to make that decision in her own time. It is important to remember that research shows an abused woman is at most risk at the point of separation and immediately after leaving an abusive partner</strong>
Leaving takes a great deal of strength and courage. An abused woman often faces huge obstacles such as nowhere to go, no money and no-one to turn to for support
Focus on supporting her and building her self confidence
Acknowledge her strengths and frequently remind her that she is coping well with a challenging and stressful situation
An abused woman is often very isolated and has no meaningful support – help her to develop or to keep up her outside contacts. This can help to boost her self esteem.
If she has not spoken to anyone else, encourage her to seek the help of a local domestic violence agency that understands what she is going through and offers specialist support and advice
Be patient. It can take time for a woman to recognise she is being abused and even longer to take be able to take safe and permanent decisions about what to do. Recognising the problem is an important first step

OP I'm sorry this has happened to you.

FWIW, and I'm not sure how long ago you last reported the DV, many forces have recently had a shake-up of the way they treat DV victims. I hope your force is one of those.

I'm sorry you had a bad experience the last time but I hope you speak to a decent police officer this time. I think you probably slipped through the net, which is not acceptable, but is unlikely to happen a second time.

Good luck.

Hi OP. This is a horrible situation for you. What's happened with your sister? Is she able to give you some real life support and take you to the police station? It's important to get this crime against you logged today so they can take photos etc. Please do stick up for yourself.

Thank you. Especially you red that made me cry. Still waiting for someone to call me back. The last (and first) time I called 101 was a few weeks ago. They said they would send someone round the next day and gave me a time. No-one turned up. And yes I should have realised this would happen again. Although this is much worse. How can I go to work tomorrow???

I've obviously got the photos. My sister is coming back over in a bit. Thanks for the support. I am a prat.

Go to work and tell them he assaulted you. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You are a victim.

Go to your GP and get a sick note. It's also worth having the GP document the injuries. What sort of environment do you work in? Would they be supportive or judgy? Would you feel comfortable going in with the bruising/cuts? Don't force yourself to go in to prove a point if it makes you feel compromised or vulnerable.

You are not a prat

This is my frustration, we are trying to support you and yet you are saying about wasting police time -NO YOU'RE NOT. I think if you asked from people on here that many didn't report first time and tried and forgave - just like you did. I certainly did. My first report (headbutted) was followed up 2 days later on a 999 call. Nobody is minimising what you are going through, quite the opposite. Could your sister take you or could you get a taxi?

I think you will find if you are open and honest with work colleagues you will get support, I know I did in many ways.

The only prat in this situation is him. Don't be so hard on yourself. Focus on getting through the police report and then freeing yourself from him for good.

OP you start the thread by saying you have reported him many times before. You repeat that.

Now you say it has only been once.

Make your mind up.

Also, in a court case, the judge may order damages to be paid by him (such as loss of earnings), though I'm not 100% sure of this one. In any case, be nice to yourself (no more I'm an idiot!) and I hope the police turn up soon.

I apologise lulu, I have made an official complaint once before. Police have been involved before that. Sorry for not making that clear.

Well I'm confused.

And here's a corny song for you!

While you have time and it's still clear, write down what happened. This time, and previous occasions you can remember. Keep notes.

So by "Reported him so many times" you meant "reported him once before"?

ThatsNotMyRabbit - not that it's particularly relevant right now, but it is possible the OP called the police before but didn't follow through with making a statement etc..