Oh bloody hell [Images may be triggering - warning added by MNHQ]

[iamacompleteandutteridiot]

Name changed. My face is scratched up to shit. Can't leave the house. He is a complete and utter bastard. Reported him so many times and the police don't care. Then again, I am a fool for continuing to see him.

I agree with Lila that you should get a gp appointment to get checked over and also ring women's aid/local domestic abuse people. Possibly contact the domestic abuse/safeguarding team at the police to make sure it's been passed on to them and ask for any help you might need.

I get the work guilt but please remember you're the victim here.

Thank you. Getting a gp appointment is like getting blood from a stone round here. I just feel like an utter idiot. I am so so so stupid. I feel so betrayed by everyone. It's not even the physical pain so much at the moment, but the emotional pain, if that makes sense?

Plus I just can't believe that after all the accusations, the paranoia and the jealousy, to the point that I have cut friends off, deleted perfectly innocent messages so as not to upset him, and all the while he was the one cheating on me. With my fucking sister. For fuck's sake. I feel sick.

Ask for an emergency or cancellation appointment. The scratch looks deep enough to scar if not treated correctly. Nurse could do this too if you can't see gp.

In your circumstances I would phone the GPs surgery and ask for an emergency appointment - if need be telling the receptionist why you need it.

I am not blaming you for your desire to stay in bed and hide from reality but the longer you wait before getting someone to properly assess and record the damage done to you, the greater his opportunity to 'spin' it.

Walk in centre? And tell them truthfully how it happened.

You are not an idiot and you are not the one who should feel ashamed.

I know you just want to crawl under a rock today. But please go to the GP. I know appointments are hard but tell them and I'm sure they will fit you in, or as imbroglio says walk in centre. Please go. It will also cover you from a work perspective.
Deal today with the physical today, emotionally it will take longer

I think you should just go into the GPs surgery and ask to see a doctor as an emergency.
When they see you I doubt they will refuse.
I'm so sorry you are going through all of this.

As a PP said make sure you contact Womens Aid.

They can help you with local support.
Also make sure you talk to them about doing their Freedom Programme.
This will be a massive help for you for future relationships.

Dear God , you poor thing. Go to a hospital if you can't go to the GP . My heart goes out to you .

What are the Police doing about the assault?

I just want to say something to you here, Iama - you need to STOP with all the self-flagellation.

In almost every post, you are putting yourself down. You call yourself names, you label yourself as stupid, an idiot etc. etc. PLEASE STOP THIS.

The more you beat yourself up, the more you are continuing the abuse your ex has inflicted upon you - STOP.

Take yourself in hand - take charge now. Go to a walk-in centre, talk to the medics, get treatment - now is the time for you to change the pattern.
Phone WA for help and advice.

I understand you blaming your mother and sister for their part in this mess as well - but you need people around you. If you can't bear for it to be them, then tell work colleagues, or any friends you still have (or who may just be waiting for you to contact them and tell them what they've probably known for a long while) - please get some support, it will help you.

Hiding away and pretending that it was a fall into a hedge helps no one, not even you - and just will come back to bite you as you give yourself another reason for self-blame. :(

You are strong, you are clever, you know all this - you just need to re-find the faith in yourself that you will need to get past all this. Best of luck with it, you can do it!

Everyone who has said that this is not your fault is right, OP. NOTHING can justify what this man has done to you. He has committed a crime and the fact that it was in a "domestic" setting should never be allowed to minimise it in any way.

I believe it is normal for victims of abuse to blame themselves - it's part of the pattern of control. And, of course, abusers' victims generally have some emotional connection with their abusers, which can lead to them believing the promises to change, or the heartfelt apologies - or even to feel that the abusive behaviour is somehow a consequence of the abuser's vulnerability. None of this is your fault. You are NOT a complete and utter idiot.

I hope it is many years since any police officer said "It's only a domestic" of situations like yours. Please use all the support you can get, friends, police, dv organisations and mners. It'll be impossible to keep blaming yourself if you have a supportive chorus contradicting you!

You might ask the police whether they'd advise getting an injunction to prevent him approaching or contacting you; I think this can cover phone calls as well as physical approach.

How are you this evening?

Hi all, thanks for all the messages and support. Couldn't get a GP appointment in time this morning (they were all gone by 8.30), so just been at home trying to make sense of everything. Face still looks appalling, but putting cream etc on it to try and make it look semi presentable for tomorrow. The police said last night that someone would be in contact with me today, but so far no call... Feeling pretty crap right now.

there will be emergency appts available even if it is with the practice nurse. call tomorrow and insist on going in so it's recorded.

it can be with the practice nurse but you need your injuries recorded

and to be referred on for help and support eg the practice counsellor

when you call say you in a lot of pain and bruising. insist.

OP. You really must start listening to the very good advise being given here.

You have photos, but would be good to have a medical write up..mention any negative feelings too..this will ease any compensation claims, and the police. I would definitely try a walk-in to get this done quickly.

Also ask police about victim support, or contact them direct now (number usually available online or from police)

I'd be getting a health professional to look at that cut as you don't want a permanent scar if you can help it. Try and lift yourself enough just for that initially if nothing else. It will be a horrid reminder if you don't heal properly. Good luck OP.

I might be wrong, it's a long time since I worked in A&E, but I seem to recall that a cut won't be stitched or closed if it's the day afterwards; too likely to become infected.

Hi, sorry I've not got back to you. Went to work today, huge embarassment trying to explain away the cuts and bruises. I also got home to a hand delivered letter from him, presumably when I was out. Obviously he is blocked on all methods of contact. Police haven't got back to me. I shall ring them when I get back from seeing the other bastard in my life, except this one has a snuffly nose and whiskers, and doesn't want to sleep with my sister (at least I hope not, that is just wrong). Cut above my lip is the worst, no amount of make up can cover that up. But hey, I went to work, and I enjoyed it in a perverse way. Made me realise that I have a purpose and am not just here to be smacked around/cheated on etc. Feeling a bit weepy this evening...

Defo chase the police about this. What did letter say?

Cut can be washed and reglued afterwards no probs, I've gone in to have a wound reopened and stitched..

Letter was full of bullsht, that he didn't mean to hurt me, he was angry with me, etc etc. Basically blaming ME for the fact that he slept with My sister.... To be honest I don't know what to do next.

Do nothing. Just phone the police, keep letter for evidence.
Remember that you do not need him. Focus on your job as it brought you positivity.
Remember none of this is your fault. Keep your head held high