DRY 11

[TeapotDictator]

Time for a shiny new thread.

Old thread here

Morning all!

I think feeling protective is a really good thing Matron. It shows that your sober stretch is something to be valued rather than something which is just a trial, or a chore.

For me, I found dry January much more difficult, as I was always looking towards the end, and it felt like a punishment rather than an opportunity. Quitting drinking altogether has in many ways been much easier, as I can just settle into my new self, and I'm not just waiting for when I can finally have a drink!!

Anyway, feels like spring is in the air here! Off to do something productive :-)

Oh and my life revolves around treats too I would love to hear about everybody's favourite treats - Teapot said upthread that they would have found it hard to believe they would consider new bedlinen a treat to compare to alcohol, but it is true! I started out treating myself to things like super-posh soft drinks, scented candles, and new running kit as I was just getting back into that. I've moved on to art kit and cream cakes, but my waist line is taking a bit of a beating so I could do with some new ideas!

My biggest treat during this last year has been a new iPhone, bought entirely with money I saved by not drinking...

Feeling protective is a great mindset Matron :)

Treats for me ..... scented candles, magazines, jewellery, holidays ( ) taking DS out for icecream, books and more books. (I joined the Radio 4 bookclub).

Oh... and things for the garden. I have been buying a pack of summer flowering plantbulbs every time I do food shopping... costs a couple of pounds a couple of times a week and hopefully my garden will be filled with flowers in the summer!

I was going to suggest plants and garden things too slim. Ours is a wasteland at the moment and I would so love some flowers this summer. Nice pots too and a previous next door neighbour had a running water feature thing - it sounds naff but it was actually lovely to sit and hear it trickling on a hot day. I'd like a peaceful, colourful, flowery oasis in the wasteland!

Mouth feeling a bit better today - dentist ordered me not to talk (!) to rest it and it's helping. DH thrilled as I can't boss him around!!

I'd be lying if I said wine hadn't crossed my mind today...it's Friday and DH and eldest are going away tonight (birthday paintballing with lots of 10 year olds!) so it will just be me and DS2. Am going to try and focus on fun future plans, the weight loss bonus of not drinking, getting good sleep and treats. Have also begun reading Jason Vale again and hoping it will sink in this time - he is very good at dismantling all the reasons why I want to drink.

Treat list from me: baths, bubble bath, candles, chocolate, coffee/tea and cake out, cinema, Headspace subscription (mindful meditation), week-ends away, meals out, clothes, nice AF drinks/herbal teas, mindful colouring book and pencils, massages, sober books/films, jewellery, CD's/DVD's, CBT & therapy. Oh and the ultimate sober treat in our house as we both stopped drinking together is using our saved money (£10K) to pay for us all as a family to go to Australia on holiday!! There are LOTS of ways to treat yourself that don't involve booze and for me it's about experiences not stuff but whatever works for you A really good idea (can't remember if I've said this already!) but Mrs D has an awesome sober first aid kit which is based on all the senses and you can read more about it here: www.livingsober.org.nz/sober-first-aid/ :)

Just had to really fight with myself driving home after dropping DH and DS1 at the train station...I'm anxious about them travelling through London at peak time tonight and of course the wine witch took the opportunity to tell me that a couple of glasses would help to take the edge off. Touch and go all the way home but have said no. Kept telling myself that wine would just create more anxiety. Exhausted with the internal fighting though and feeling physically drained.

jojo stay strong. I understand you.

Posted too quickly. The home alone/quiet times are proving more stressful than the social occasions. What can you do to distract yourself?

Hi
Day 5.
Nice to see you all.

Can you take a walk with DS2 it's cold but bright here. Possibly got another 30 mins or so of daylight. Run an errand to the 3rd closest post box or something? I'm half replying to you and half talking to myself! I'm going for a run immediately desperate measures and all that. Back in half hour if you want to chat your way through the craving I will listen x

I think I will be ok now I'm in tonight - food, bath, sofa! Got DS2 to deal with. But the weekends are a struggle and I can't yet see a time when they won't be because the 'I want a drink' for whatever reason or trigger is still there. Maybe this is just how it has to be for a while. My internal arguments are getting a bit more sophisticated as a result of reading blogs and jason vale etc - I feel like I have more weapons to battle with! It would help if I didn't feel so energy-less. If I'm still feeling so crap in a few days I will go to the doctors. How are you finding today matron?

Enjoy your run! Will post later!

Hi jojo it does get better - you just start to associate different responses with your triggers.

Anxiety is a bitch tho; I am doing the Headspace anxiety pack right now (Lucy how funny you should mention that!); I have found it really helpful, and feel very different now than I did when I started Headspace about 4 months ago. Perhaps worth a try? You only need to spend 10 to 20 minutes per day, and it costs about the same as a large glass of wine per month to subscribe.

Loving reading about everybody's treats

Well done everyone, and great ideas for sober treats. It made me realise that even without thinking about it I turn to different things now. This week has been so so stressful and I am full of anxiety. But it's made me look frantically around for coping techniques where previously I would have just fallen into a vat of wine and hauled my body through each day trying to pretend I was less hungover than I was. I've just downloaded the audiobook of The Power of Now because I remembered how good it was when I read it before, and have been desperately looking for ways to stop worrying about things that haven't happened yet.

Love the sober treat lists.:)

Hi there Howbad. Good to see you. :)

joJo well done on working through the urge.

I don't feel protective of my sobriety I feel murderous and want to strangle it to death with a bottle of wine.

I have been bent over hands on thighs doing contraction type breathing.

So sorry if I don't make it

Matron surf the urge. Cravings last 10 minutes, that is all. Make a cup of tea. Go to bed if you have to. Do it.

You CAN do this.

Will check out the Headspace idea thanks fuzzy - lots of people have suggested mindfulness to me but I couldn't get on with the book I tried. My anxiety is definitely worse these days and it's one of the reasons I need to not drink because then it's awful.

matron try and play things forward. Distract yourself in any way available! Are you ok?

Play the tape forward Matron. What will you get if you cave in to the craving? A temporary scratching of the itch. And then the sleeping beast will be woken. And if you're anything like me it'll mean an evening of superhuman wrestling to avoid overdoing it and feeling like shit in the morning.

Hi howbad is this well done on day 5! That's amazing.

Are you ok Matron? Will pm you.

For treats? I have been collecting wee beauty treatments and putting in a box for a pick n mix beauty treatment session and bubble bath. Going into town tomorrow for a new jacket. I have £100 saved in my not drinking account. Love it
Feeling good this evening.

yellow thank you.

Sorry I've been such a drama queen I'm through it and sober.

I was bent over with my heart pounding and head spinning. That took me completely by surprise such a tangible physical urge to drink

It is so helpful to read about slips and people pushing on and coming right back to abstain again.

jojo I'm ok and I know I will be more than ok one day I will be great!

Huge kudos to everyone that is doing this with stress in their lives.

Slim you are right it does pass, felt like hours not minutes, but I am now peaceful.

This thread is like a life boat.

Hello Howbad

Well done Matron!

Hi howbad how are things?

Re Headspace, you can download the app and do the 'take 10' series for free - it's an intro to meditation and is very accessible. Then you can subscribe if you want and get targeted packs for all kinds of things!

Phew matron glad you got through it, thought we had lost you!!

Enjoy the peace