DRY 11

[TeapotDictator]

Time for a shiny new thread.

Old thread here

howbad are you trying too hard ? You sound exhausted , and low ... DD won't REMEMBER this birthday in a couple of months - I know you want to do the best for her , but please try and do good by yourself too. Too much rushing about lowers your resilience to the wine Witch ....

Hope you have some down time this weekend ...

I'm going to bed VERY soon. I'm cold, tired and have no emotional reserve..

'Drinking a love story' arrived today, and I intend to read it in bed xxx

Hello all may I join you, I am today on day 5 AF, and need this to be forever but marking each day. I did join BB but tbh I cannot cope yet expressing my fears amongst current drinkers/ and many AF they were lovely but I am not in a strong place where I can cope, my inner voices arguing just one etc are too strong. I don't do just one beer. A couple of years ago I did 6 months, felt on top of the world, then inner voices got better of me and I went to social one or two to back to old ways within a fortnight. So hello and hope I can be here x

Fell off thread for a bit! Welcome journeyon :) Congrats on day 5! Grab a and slice of as a reward. Congrats on your 6 months previously too - that's great because it means you know you can do this and you know the pitfalls of that drinking voice that tempts us back

Morning everyone, welcome journeyon. ! Good to have you with us. :)

How is everyone today? I am okay but very tired. Went out unexpectedly last night- a friend asked me to the pub for a girly catch up. I drank lime and soda and was fine..... usually it would be very very triggery but it was okay. What was funny is that someone else joined us.... I last saw her at another girly night in January where she (and pretty much everyone) got plastered. I was sober (and designated driver) and it was really interesting because she told a 'funny' story about something she said I had said on the night, which is a total mis-memory of hers. Being sober I remember!!! It was not a big deal, I just found it really interesting how she had recalled the conversation so differently. (In her anecdote I was alot funnier than I really was too.)

Good AA meeting yesterday. Had a newcomer who had a desperately sad story which still makes me a bit sad and teary. But she is fighting the battle, and hopefully will win. Yesterday I was blown away by the courage people have- we all have - in facing this horrible horrible drug head on.

Have a furniture moving day today.....yawn.

Have happy days Sober Friends.

welcome journeyon - sounds like this is the thread for you

well done on day 5 - the start is the hardest because thoughts of drinking / not drinking CONSUME every waking moment and its exhausting... BUT you have done SIX months before and you KNOW you can make it ... so each hour at a time. be very very ind to yourself. plan little nice things for YOU, and it gets better :-)

Hi cheesy nights out are hard for me at the moment. I have a dinner party tonight that we have been invited to. I love the people and know everyone, so it should be ok, but I am anxious about it ...

still counting my days at the moment Day 36 ...

Welcome journeyon 5 days sober is really good- well done. Good to see you lucy.

Cheesy the meeting sounds hard but remember it's ok to feel emotional. This journey can be really overwhelming.

Howbad how are you feeling today- have you got any me time planned ?

Day 17 for me and although I am not going to drink I am feeling very teary and anxious. I had a letter today to say I had missed an appt with the alcohol service but I haven't. In fact I was chasing them. I don't want to get into trouble for not engaging with them.

How's everyone else today?

morning all - thank you - this is such a difficult but positive place to be if you see what i mean - my mantra at the moment is to argue with my thoughts - in the past (this will sound very familiar) - good news, drink, bad news drink, nice sunny day drink, etc etc - then day after all i think of is today will give up again. The last 2 years have been exhausting as I have had all these discussions every day, behaved in a very poor way, not looked after myself, felt groggy and not on form. And yet to the general public, my friends and everyone i seem together. Even my DP does not really realise the extent of my problem. I am so tired at the moment but.. it is a different tired. Taking each day as it comes but I know deep down this cycle cannot go on.

lilybetsy day 36 wow you are in the second month and vxa2 take care, letters and stress points are horrid and a hurdle to get over. Lucy thank you for the welcome and SlimCheesy i am in full admiration of your night out. This time i am mulling over the AA route but not sure - have bought the allen carr book, reading blogs - and yes this is allconsumming - last night a friend called and is coming over today - normally she brings a bottle of fizz and i guarded myself by telling her i am having a dry month - will tackle next month when i get there. Anyhow i ramble and thank you all

Hi all!

Quick check in to lend a bit of support to vxa - don't let that letter throw you. They have made a mistake, not you. Be good to yourself, you are doing so well

Welcome journeyon , drinking is just such hard work isn't it! I keep saying it on this thread, but I am convinced the biggest benefit that being dry has for me, is having learned to be kind to myself once again. Oh, and a massive increase in self-respect.

Which is not to say there are not bad days... I have been feeling off-kilter today, maybe hormonal, not sure, didn't sleep so well last night, not dealing well with things at home. So... I am going to look after me, and I am taking myself off to bed for a nap, and then I am going to start the day again with a nice cuppa!

Sober strength to all on the thread, and all lurking (Matron are you out there??) x

Hello everyone.

vxa - is day 17 your first step into uncharted territory? We're all here holding your hand...

I'm on my own, dp has taken the dcs to the park so I've got some music on and just chilling. It's nice. I am feeling really anxious about going back to work after a week off and I think this is to do with my generally feeling low. I am going to make some plans about how to manage work that cuts down some of the crap. But not now. On Monday, in my work time.

Welcome journey!

Hello everyone else. Thanks to everyone who keeps this thread going, so wise and helpful, and gives me somewhere to go.

I'm scared. I do NOT want to go out tonight. I want to hide, go to bed and cocoon myself. I'm scared of everyone drinking, I'm scared of being sober, I'm scared (even more scared) of drinking ...

But I know I have to go .

I need courage ....

You don't have to go! You can phone and excuse yourself if you want to.

If you really want to go - take your phone and post here from the loo if it will help.
know what you are drinking - have a plan for this.
Have a plan for leaving.
Have a plan for what you will do in sudden stress or boredom (loo, phone, us? or something else?)

Lily - you could well be fine - and in fact have a great time. But if you don't want to go YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO

Good luck and let us know how you're doing!

Hi lily it's ok to be scared and completely understandable. Does your OH know how scared you are ? Have you planned what you are gong to drink and have you got an exit strategy in case it gets too much. I think that is a good idea and will make you feel more in control. In an earlier post you said you love the people and it would be OK. It WILL be ok and you will feel great tomorrow when you've got through it and hopefully even enjoyed yourself. Remember if it gets too much you don't have to stay. YOU are the most important thing and you are doing brilliantly. Let us know how you get on.

Cross posted with Howbad ! Looks like we are both saying the same thing - take care lily xx

Hi everyone - especially Lily.
Thinking of you all on a Saturday night. Hope you are having a good one.

Thank you,thank you all. I went, it was fine. In the end I offered to drive which gave me the excuse I needed to be sober with no explanation.

I took Diet Coke as well as flowers and wine ...

It was fine although I got edgy at about midnight and wanted to leave .... Fortunately another was also keen to leave so I was able to come home ....

Thank you ❤️❤️❤️❤️

good on you lily. Glad it went well. :)

I was designated driver last night too when DH and I went out. I really love being designated driver..... gives me the cast iron excuse, and saves taxi fares! It does help though, as you say, if people want to come home roughly the same time!!!!!

I had a GREAT night out. Saw a film (Eddie the Eagle- really a good bit of fun) then had a curry then DH wanted to go to a specialty ale house. So he had one ale, I had a lovely cup of coffee (and the barman gave me peppermint chocolates on the house because I was driving!) then home by 11 pm. Blissful!!

I was supposed to go away in a couple of weeks with some girlfriends but I have bailed. Firstly, we have some big bills coming up and I do not really have the money to spare, then DH is going through some stuff and is stressed, but also the weekend was going to include clubbing and I decided that I just really could not cope with that right now and be secure in my sobriety so I decided to put myself and my needs first. I feel much better for that decision. :)

Well done lily You did it on your terms and you survived, more than survived by the sounds of it. Take it easy today.

Slim you are a complete social butterfly ! I think socialising is a way off for me yet. I never went to anything, if the truth be known because I didn't want to get drunk and embarrass myself and equally I couldn't see the point in giving up evening with alcohol at home for an evening out with none - that's quite sad when I think about it really. I just used to say I couldn't make it but that wasn't true.

Sounds like giving the weekend away a miss is a good idea so well done on making that decision and being strong

Day 18 for me today. The furthest I have got so far. Generally still feeling pretty rubbish but I haven't really got any strong cravings either so that's a positive.

How's everyone else today? It's lovely and sunny here.

flossie come back !

Awesome work lily, slim, vxa, howbad. You are all doing so so well!

journeyon how is it going today?

Always interesting to hear how each of us approaches the different challenges we face.

I have started today feeling much brighter thank goodness, and the sun is shining. We are all full of cold so I don't think i will be out running, but maybe a decent walk to shake off the cobwebs. Banana pancakes first tho!!

Fuzzywhitelegs doing okay, yesterday ok kept the inner voices at bay. Now out and about with DS with his sports training, feeling awake and bright. Been reading all previous dry posts you are all such an inspirational lot. Glad you are feeling brighter fuzzy

This time I am facing my demons head on and yes recognising I am indeed an alcoholic, at the moment I have lots of what ifs in my head ie if I had kept sober last time, but need to get over that really. Lots of nice soft drinks in the house and ready to face my next norm of a Sunday afternoon drink whilst I potter. Day 6 now 😊

That's great to hear journeyon - I bet it will help having the previous experience, as long as you don't allow your head to turn it into something to beat yourself with! Take the positives and enjoy feeling awake and bright; such a great feeling for a weekend morning!!

Hello all 🙋
I've had a really busy few days. Still sober, day 20 today. I've done things that I would of either been drinking at or hungover for, there have been a few tetchy moments with the wine witch but I have blown that old crone of her perch with a bazooka.
I'm Feeling good but absolutely shattered today so it's a lazy self care day here.
Welcome journeyon
Well done lily and everyone else.
vxa
fuzzy feel better soon
howbad good luck with your planning, I need to do some of that myself.
slim I'm going away with a friend in a few months and I'm starting to get anxious about it but there is no way to get out of it.
Waves to everyone I've missed-

Also, heartburn has finally buggered off. Hoping my stomach has healed itself or at least on it's way. I'm also looking better my eyes seem to be bigger and brighter and my eczema that I've been battling for Years in one patch that refused to go has completely gone!! I'm certain I've lost weight as well but still haven't stepped on the scales as I don't have any at home. All in all the positives are outweighing the perceived negatives.

Well done Boodles well done all sober warriors. Hitting a bit of a wall here, day 110. I was pleased to make the 100 day milestone, I survived sunshine holiday in Spain with no drinking. Got back yesterday and SO wanted ( and felt I 'deserved' a big fat glass of wine. So grumpy with family, ate a box of chocolates and went to bed at 7.30pm. So it's good I'm not drinking, but I'm still not very good company! Feel a bit lost today, without any obvious targets/milestones, anyone any good ideas?

Absolute I think what you're feeling is perfectly normal, people describe it as sobriety becoming just part of who you now are, instead of being all new, fresh and exciting........ In other words, probably the most dangerous time of all. So it's ok to feel how you feel.
So to deal with it, I think you're going to need all the help you can get, there are loads of resources out there, you'll know most of them and they all have articles that deal with this very issue. "Mummy was a secret drinker" and other blogs like hers will be worth a look as well as the Bubble Hour Podcasts, I believe there are some that discuss what you're dealing with.
Basically I would advise that you just do and read whatever you did back in the very early days.....sending so much good luck to you xx

Thanks absolute I agree with hurricane and also maybe set yourself another challenge that is directly to do with alcohol but wouldn't be possible if you were drinkimg ? Maybe something like do an exercise DVD every night for x amount of days, or decorating a room or a cupboard that's bursting that needs organising something to keep you busy and focused?