DRY 11

[TeapotDictator]

Time for a shiny new thread.

Old thread here

Oh that is so cute Teapot. I think getting two at the same time who you know like each other is a good thing. We have an older female and then brought a female 10 month old into the house and they fight for supremacy all the time. Currently Cat 1 is out in the garden, and Kitten 2 is sleeping on the printer next to the computer.

Another mad cat lady here :) Glad cats 1 and 2 are very very old now and brother and sister; Glad cat 3 is much younger - all rescued when tiny kittens :( All light up our lives with their silly antics :) And have various cat flaps to allow them into various rooms.

Well done not for being strong right now and howbad for last night and matron for keeping champagne in fridge - that would torture me!!

Yep all good here. Feel a bit anxious but then that's my default setting (hence the propensity to drink) plus I haven't won any money yet!

Note to self: must get another cat.

Hi again everyone

Gosh lots of inspiring stuff on this thread.

Notgrumpy, I totally now what you mean about seeing people behaving in drunken ways that look awful but you can really see how you have been that person yourself. good luck with the afternoon in the pub. I have to say I don't think I could stand that, (but I say that having only just got back to my house, by myself, after the day and night away with work. It was testing my every nerve at points as i really do struggle to be with people for long periods of time (even though these people are very nice) and the pub part of it, by the time I left, I was just completely over it and although I'll do something like that again, I'm not in any hurry to.)

Actually when you think about it (and I'm aware this is really not an original thing to say and I am sure you have all thought things like this!) - it is really ridiculous that social events for adults revolve around alcohol to the extent that they do, and especially for work things. I wonder what it would be like trying to work in my industry if you were muslim or otherwise teetotal. In fact, you don't even have to be a non-drinker to find things like that too much: I'm sure I know a lot of people who do drink socially who would have found last night's event just too long, too boring, too loud, far too raucous - because I honestly think it was no fun for anyone who wasn't very drunk by the end.

Oh well. I said I'd do it and I did. Next time I will come up with an exit strategy so that I can go for the first bit, see people and have a nice time catching up, and then fuck off out of it

We stayed in a Premier Inn and I loved it. when I got back to my room it was so quiet and bland and calm. Basic clean hotels are so beautifully empty when your brain is fried. And it was a great bed.

Sorry about the epic post from me. Just burbling and decompressing...

In through the nose, out through the mouth...

I have a banging headache. You're right how it's completely fucking overwhelming. None of my bets paid out. Some comments were made about how I 'seemed a bit quiet'. I said it was because I was bored tired. DP tried to make it be about him. I left them all to it. I am back home and fighting tears but

I DID NOT DRINK.

I have succeeded.

Well done notgrumpy, a triumph! I don't think I would cope very well with an afternoon in the pub not drinking - people would just get on my nerves too much!!
Hope you have taken some painkillers for the headache and have a nice, sober treat for yourself.

An unexciting night in store here but that's ok - I've got a busy weekend and I want a good nights sleep. I do have some chocolate though! Am still feeling quite peaceful about not drinking...perhaps I am accepting the new normal...

notgrumpy well done! I love to gamble and a drink always goes in hand for me. Have a cry if you want to then have a pint of water x

matron well done - are you feeling better at all now?

Thanks all. I'm too wrung out to actually feel pleased with myself. It was just too much after a few hours and I was so determined to Not Drink that I really pissed myself off about not being able to just have a couple like normal people. Anyway I am in bed now with a Decaf, painkillers, e cig and my laptop ready to watch Gardeners World. That should cheer me up. I'm so glad you lot are out there, it's great to feel supported and to be able to give support when I'm feeling more upbeat.

all round

Glad you are tucked up safe and sober notgrumpy - hope you feel better.

I retreated to the fabulous B and B like Spare Room (set up for guests with lovely high thread count cotton bedding, cushions, candles, kettle and nice biscuits!) in the early stages. I sleep poorly anyway and tho I love my OH dearly I do sleep better if in another bed (all those cats don't help!)
I really found being able to just be awake and turn on Headspace/AJ/Amazon prime on tablet/MN in middle of night really helped, without feeling bad I was possibly waking him up with tablet light/headphone tweetling. Which I could not do if I was in bed with DH.

I still go there probably 2 nights out of 7 and if I/he is poorly . We cuddle and DTD etc just like other couples at bed time, but then I move to spare room after. And I go back to our room in early morning for a lie in, but I get a solid chunk of good sleep in the spare room to keep me sane and so does he. Win Win

Just so other peeps understand - decent sleep is essential to our mental health - sleep deprivation is a crime under the Geneva Convention for a very good reason! So if you are struggling with sleep due to cutting down or stopping - and you can move to another bed I would do so - it really will help :)

hi

Just checking in.

well done not grumpy. you sound pretty drained... but well done

glad, your spare room sounds lovely. I so feel you on the sleep thing.

Hope everyone is ok tonight. I've been on the tea and hot chocolate. I should have been out this evening at a regular commitment but dp went out and I didn't have a babysitter... actually I didn't even try to get one because I am feeling so wrung out from being with people in such an intense way from travelling with work; and because I wanted to put my own girls to bed tonight after missing them last night. Just as well I was here because dd1 had some problems... she is settled now. Happy to be home and sober and with my sleeping girls next door

Good night everyone

You did well at your work thing Howbad. I hear you on the 'being wrung out from being with people in an intense way' thing and therefore needing a quiet night in, and Glad too on the importance of good sleep. It all comes back to self-care, I think, and that is something I hadn't practiced for years. Just kept imbibing the booze and pretending everything was fine.

Anyway, here's a nice thing. I am now six months sober (yay!) and my adult DC got me a card and a present, and in the card they wrote, "Congratulations, we are all SO proud of you. You seem much happier, there's a lot more laughter in the house..." and they all signed it, with extra encouraging words from each of them. Isn't that lovely? I feel very supported by them and DH. I also feel guilty about the past but we've talked about that on here haven't we? I cannot change what happened, but I can move on from it.

Good night all!

Wow umpteen many congratulations - that's brilliant ! how , I completely identify with your comments about last night. I think it's really important to listen to what our bodies / minds tell us with regard to fatigue / need for solitude / peace etc. Resilience to the wine witch comes from prioritising our needs and taking care of ourselves ...

not very well done the last few days I'm not strong enough to go to a pub yet - your resolve is inspiring :-)

I survived Friday night. I SURVIVED FRIDAY NIGHT . I'm so happy, Friday was my favourite night to drink. And as I said, I have been AF in the week for a month now - but pissed +++ at the weekend . But last night I came home, exchanged pleasantries with everyone, made dinner , watched TV , drank Diet Coke and went to bed ! No hangover for me today X

and for you all

Morning all - sober halos intact
Umpteen congrats on 6 months and that's lovely
Notgrumpy bloody well done - you are a stronger woman than I!
lily well done too on surviving Friday night - a BIG deal in the early days :)
Another mad cat lady here who wouldn't be without the family cat who belongs to my DD but I covet as it he were mine

Umpteen congratulations that is fantastic!!

When you have a bottle of champagne chilling in the fridge you do not drink it. You drink it PLUS carry on.

I slipped, not binged, but had 1/2 bottle of Champage and 2 large vodkas. There was a marked difference in the quality of my sleep last night. It's a cautionary tale for me. Too complacent, too cocky.

I did not get the carefree alcohol thrill and release I thought I would. It just made me introverted and tired.

Sorry to report a fail

matron we live and learn One lapse does not a relapse make. Dust yourself off and on we go :)

Not a fail matron I don't think so much as a learn. Sounds like you have moved on greatly in your relationships with both yourself and the bottle which I think is bloody brilliant. I've only been on this thread a week but it's obvious the progress that I've made and others are continuing to make.

Umpteen well done and so lovely of your kids to mark the occasion

High fives all round!

Day 7 for me. Still no hangover and still no doubts about this being the right thing to do. DP seems quite happy in his permanent fug so all I can do is leave him to it. I don't know how many times I have told him that I wanted to change and this was never about getting him to stop or cut back, it is about me and my relationship with myself. It would be great to see that he has my back but the states he's let me walk home in by myself while he's insisted on 'just squeezing several one more in' with his mates after last orders and then hoovering up whatever he can find in the house when he gets in, then lying in bed until mid afternoon at weekends when we could be doing something together, really tells me all I need to know.

One thing that we all seem to have in common is a deep need to find life's dimmer switch IYSWIM? I was in a right state last night, I was close to a migraine and it was a good couple of hours before I came down from the ceiling. As I was getting more agitated I could see DP (several pints in multiplied by several wins so he was riding high) was lost to me and I knew that he couldn't see how difficult it was for me and that there was no way on earth I could persuade him to take me home.

Pub/ rugby tonight and I will be under considerable pressure to 'enjoy' myself. I have a plan A and a plan B. Plan A is to make it clear beforehand that I will go because I want to watch it and I want to see people but I will drink soft drinks and I will leave when it's finished, alone or accompanied I'm not bothered but that's all the time I'm willing to give DP it. Plan B if I can't face it is to stay home and not bother. I'll decide nearer the time.

any advice how to get back on the saddle? Have slipped most of the week. Feel de motivated and very low that after 60 days am just throwing in the towel.

X post with Lucy - it took me quite a while to compose that last one!

Hi yellow one day at a time seems to be the message I'm hearing. Well done on your 60 days!

It's not a fail Matron. I know it doesn't feel like that, but partly that will be because a) we're more likely to be the types to beat ourselves up and b) alcohol is a depressant and you will be more likely to feel down today. You're here, and you're aware that it didn't deliver what you thought it would. Each time that happens you're closer to being able to stop before picking the drink up. Champagne chilling in the fridge would NOT be a good idea for me, personally.

Umpteen - six months, that is HUGE. Sober treat planned? I think my six months I treated myself to a goose down duvet.... Congrats - I love the card you got from your family; it reminds me of the interview with David Bowie and Paxman when Paxman asks him why he won't have "just one drink" (FFS that question always annoys me!). Bowie says something along the lines of "why would I want to? Everything in my life is so much better now, my relationships with my family are so much better, why would I want to go back?".

Notgrumpy - re. the comments about your being "a bit quiet". I've realised that the "a bit quiet" version of me is actually the real me, and the "aren't I just such a party girl and so interesting because I'm a bit unpredictable when I get going" me was the artifice. It's like finally realising it's okay to just be me, and the artifice is what was holding me back. I was listening to a friend recount a recent 'crazy night out' and I was grimacing at the end of the phone and thinking how it all sounded horrific. Yet it was precisely the kind of 'crazy night out' I would have been caught up in too, had I been drinking.

Having a bit of a duvet day here, with an ill child giving us the mild excuse needed to just hang out doing very little.

Lots of cross-posting there. Also wanted to add that I read something really motivating the other day and wanted to share it. It was about the fact that hundreds of thousands of people never even have the clarity of mind to think about stopping drinking even though they clearly need to, and get lost to the disease/whatever you want to call it. Even by thinking about wanting to get a handle on it, let alone joining a FB group or this thread and posting regularly, puts you in a much better position than those people. I think we're the lucky ones!