how do i forget the bad things?

[HauntedChair]

i'm really struggling to let go of the horrible things my OH has said and done in the past, i just don't seem to be able to totally forget and hate that he thinks everything is fine while i have this quiet resentment bubbling away which makes me feel like i'm just treading water while life chugs along around me.

i don't want to throw away 15 years together and the life we've built, but on the other hand i'm worried that i'll still be feeling like this in another 15 with regrets that i didn't get out sooner.

if i could just move on in my head!

has anyone else felt like this? if so how did you let go?

He knows you can be sucked back in, and just how to accomplish that. It's like he's a big cat playing with a mouse (you) and just when you really let down your guard and start trusting him he will pounce and leave you lying there dying inside. You really really need lots of time completely away from him to become stronger and learn new ways of reacting to him, and to not care what he or anyone else thinks of you. Even if people do think you're the bad guy, I can tell you from experience that doesn't last. You will move on, people start paying attention to their own lives, and no one will care at all how you got away from him. But those who care about you will be super glad you got stronger and got away. For strength.

i just need to stop being so weak, i know what i want, i'm just so daunted by the thought of actually doing it.

not sure how to move from thoughts to action and i feel so stuck.

sorry for the wallow, it helps to write it down and get it out...

Just thought I’d pop back with a quick update & to thank everybody who posted.

‘D’P got many, many times worse so DD & I finally left a few weeks ago.
I won’t lie, it was very tough but very much worth it.
We left with practically nothing but thanks to my family, work & some wonderful new friends we’re getting there bit by bit.

The main thing is that we have each other and are relaxed & happy!

I’ve had a few other threads under different names since but this is the one that kick started me and I really appreciate the advice offered.

I've only just read your original posts, but I've been hoping against hope all the way through the thread that you managed to get out. Well done! So, so pleased for you.

I think this thread is a fantastic example to other people who are in similar situations, and will help to encourage and support them in moving forward.

All best wishes to you and your dd for the future.

Amazing well done! I remember reading you are fat over and over again comment when you first posted and it upset me just reading it. I cannot imagine how you felt having that directed at you. Flowers for you.

Well done OP.
You wrote this originally
i'm worried that i'll still be feeling like this in another 15 with regrets that i didn't get out sooner
Well you didn't wait 10 years.
You are free!
So pleased for you and your DD
Keep going and keep strong!