I am supposed to be meeting a guy tonight for our second date. He hasn't even told me at what time we are meeting or where yet

[SoleBizzz]

Am I supposed to wait for him to message me or just make other plans?

This is weird.

If he has changed his mind he should let you know out of common courtesy, as he would with anyone else.

Ephemeral, you haven't done much online dating lately I'm assuming? Vanishers, men cancelling at the last minute or simply not turning up after chasing you for days/weeks is sadly the order of the day. .. it's a sorry state of affairs

OP, based in my experience he's either changed his mind and is too much of a coward to tell you, or he's inconsiderate and should you hit it off will have you on edge every weekend waiting for him until the last minute that you're 'of course still meeting'. I would text him something like 'still on for tonight?' on whatsapp. If he reads but doesn't answer straight away I'd make other plans and tell him so if he gets back to you much later today.

We all deserve someone who thinks we're so amazing they want to secure our time without us having to be left wondering where we stand.

Hopefully he replies soon so you can make plans for your evening either way.

Having grown up with dbs and spent time around their pals, I'm firmly in the 'treat 'em mean and keep 'em keen' always in the early stages of what may turn into a relationship.

If you make yourself available at the drop of a hat you become the gal they go to when they've got nothing better to do - "I'll ring whatsername, she's always available".

Assuming you met him online, he could be an honest joe or he could be one of the biggest bullshitters out there. Either way, as outputgap has said, he's got exceptionally bad manners and that alone would be sufficient for me to make other plans.

See I don't think you should care what he thinks about how you appear? YOU at the moment are stressed out because of someone else's actions, it's perfectly fine, in fact I would say essential to take control of your own evening and feelings about his flakiness. Text or call then you'll know one way or the other. Do not tolerate this kind of rudeness for the sake of some pathetic social "rule" that tells you that you have to be passive and accepting or risk appearing "desperate".

He has just phoned me. Said he doesn't play games and didn't want to contact me too much in order nit to cramp my style. He said come over anytime as he will be finished with what he needs to do in three hours.

He seems lovely and genuine.

I'm soo happpy

He immediately wants you to make all the effort to meet just because he drove to your town once? He's making you text to make arrangements? Is this what you want?

"To cramp your style"? What does that mean?

I don't think you meeting him in his town is unreasonable - give and take and all that. Have a lovely evening. Also, while you're there, have the "let's be upfront" conversation. If you don't want to see him again you'll tell him and vice versa then you won't be left wondering if he doesn't text you back immediately in future.

I'm soo happpy I hope that's not desperation speaking.

I hope it goes well for you, OP, but you can't say you weren't warned if he turns out to be a player.

I suggested going to Walsall next time. He has been unemployed for a few weeks. Now he has a new job starting as a branch manager at a shop. He is quite low on funds. I knew him at junior school.

Knowing my luck he will run off with a work colleague.

Cramp my style I don't know..he has been single for four years.

I will lay all of my cards on the table tonight. Then no room for misunderstandings.

There you go.

I'm a big fan of honesty and not game playing. If you need to know something then ask. Sounds like he was feeling the same way as the miniority on here who seem to believe making first contact is bad or a test!

I may be missing something, but "come over anytime" ?
Where are you meeting him?

I will just hope I don't get hurt. I be back to let you know how tonight goes. I hope I don't regret this . I don't want to end up a bitter woman.

At his place then out for a meal.

I'm a bit at the drama of:
"I'm done with men"
to
"I'm sooo happy"
in just a few posts, OP.

In the nicest possible way - Calm. The. Fuck. Down.

And yes, be honest with him, and yes, contact him whoever you want. Be honest with yourself too - and watch that it's not all one way. In location, effort, frequency of contact...

Just look for balance - the opposite of no men vs sooo happy

You're meeting at his place? Is that OK with you?

I am not dating so feel free to ignore me but this sounds a bit booty call-ish. I'd much rather meet at a cafe or bar to continue the 'get to know each other' stage than just end up at his. Unless you're very keen to shag him right now?

I know! I was very very badly hurt eight years ago. I am comparing the experience I had before. I will get to the bottom of why he didn't text me his address etc.. it has pissed me off.

We have discussed the sleeping arrangements. He is on the sofa!

Would that be before or after you dtd?

Gods lol no sex for me. My fanny is too big I can't feel it anyway.

If you make yourself available at the drop of a hat you become the gal they go to when they've got nothing better to do - "I'll ring whatsername, she's always available".

TRUUUUUUUE!!!!!!

I have been that girl.

Said he doesn't play games and didn't want to contact me too much in order nit to cramp my style.

That in itself is playing games.

Genuine looks like this: I like her, I will contact her. Not: I better not contact her too much.

No one's fanny is too big! You just haven't had the right kind of attention. Hope you have a good date

Best to go easy on the booze or you won't know if you dtd or not.

So an hour ago you weren't comfortable enough with him to just text "what's up for tonight?" and now you're staying over. K.