what the hell do I say to that!!

[fireflys]

My husband says (during an argument) that we aren't really married because we didn't consummate our marriage by having sex!! Therefore if he divorces me the judge will do it straight away without even talking to me or considering my side of things because he will tell the judge we didn't have sex that night!! Apparently we are not legally married??

For the couple I know it took at least as long as divorce, I'm sure it cost them a fair bit and they didn't have children to take into account. Your "husband" is an idiot.

He's right - tell him to hurry up and get on with it.

Lucky escape op!

Bring out the champagne! He does not sound like ideal partner/husband material anyway so thank god you aren't like other ops who stay in utterly rubbish abusive relationships.

Congratulations on your gorgeous baby

You are legally married unless and until it's annulled. You would have to be told about the annulment petition and given a chance to oppose it.

However, in your shoes I think I'd go out tomorrow and issue the annulment petition myself. The court can probably help you with the forms, and filling in the grounds is very straightforward.

Tell him to go consummate himself. Bastard.

Personally I'd say:
go on then, off you trot

or something witty about trying it with me and seeing how easy it is to divorce after I hit him round the head with a baseball bat

With an attitude like that, I'd tell him to please find a solicitor. There is no way I would shag a man like that. I really wouldn't. What an abusive twat.

Tell him to knock himself out. And not to let the door hit his arse on the way out!

to you OP, I had a nasty tear and stitches too, and it is deeply shit. Anyone who cannot support and care for you when you have had a major bodily trauma needs to be gone out of your life.

Tell him his penis is no longer required now that you have a baby.

Might actually be the easy way out, OP......

I believe both parties have to agree that it wasn't consummated in order to get an annulment and it's less complicated to just go for a divorce.

Do you think he's saying that because he thinks you wont be entitled to as much financially if it's annulled? (no idea on that score)

You've got a lovely baby! Single parenthood can be hard but shared parenthood with a knobhead is harder. I've done both and I know which one I'd choose.

How would he feel about you getting arsey about him not wanting to repeatedly thrust his torn and bruised penis in your vagina only 8 weeks after he'd had 80 stitches in it?

Get out now while you can.
However, if you stand to benefit from a financial settlement in a divorce, fight an annullment. A judge will listen to you and you have a very strong case.

No, if you refuse to have sex the wedding can be anulled BUT if lack of sex is on medical grounds it can't be. ........however not sure that would stand considering you already gave him a child....dick thing to say, was he drunk?

sounds like he's either being an abusive twat and thinks he can abuse you and get away with it, or bully you into sex; or he genuinely wants out and has had a lightbulb moment about how he can get out without the cost of a divorce and spousal maintenance, etc.

If it's the former, tell him to go. If it's the latter, you can either deny it was not consumnated after marriage (I mean, your baby is evidence of a sexual relationship) or use medical reasons - also, not sure what the 'time limit' for consumnation is, or when the clock starts - presumably when you've healed and if that's not the case, I'd argue interference with Article 8 & 12

lucky you OP, you have a get-out clause

get out

however, legally, surely, the marriage was consummated before the wedding

so it was consummated

you have the child to prove it (should you so wish)

disclaimer: I am not a lawyer

What happens to division of assets if a marriage is annulled rather than a divorce? Would the OP still get any assets she would have been entitled to on divorce?

Technically he right, but I doubt he'll have a case for annulment if you had his baby the day after your wedding!

You can file for annulment.

He sounds a twat and I'd seriously think about if you think things will improve. It's often harder to leave the longer you stay.

I hope you feel better soon. Sounds like a horrendous birth

I'm not so sure this would stand up in a court! You've had a baby together. You may not have had sex since your marriage but you have had sex.

He's a pillock op. His comments prove he's unsupportive, selfish and abusive. Divorce him now before it get more complicated.

You can't consummate marriage that hasn't yet taken place, so sex before marriage doesn't count!!

Legally, the marriage hasn't been consummated so can be annulled. He's right, however silly it seems.

I'm sure all the bits of a regular divorce happen in case of an annulment too.

He applies for an annulment you have to agree and sign the papers and a decree nisi is issued, after six months the annulment is issued and the financial settlement is dealt with along the way.

Only difference is you don't have to wait a year (or whatever the time scale is) of marriage to begin an annulment.

OP go speak to a solicitor or CAB tomorrow. Find out your legal position then decide from there what's best for you and baby.

Why don't you have it annulled then?

Hmmmm he sounds like a right keeper if he's talking about divorce already....