Sorry this is long. My bf wants me to make a 'good' impression on his parents. I am 25 and he is 24. I have met his parents once briefly at church and they were charming and lovely and bf talks about how great they are. They are very close. We are going to his parent's home this weekend for lunch and at first I thought it would be nice to spend time together and get to know his parents better. We have been together 8 months. He has already met my family and my family say he is great.
Bf has turned into a nervous wreck as he has already 'dumped' four girlfriends after their first time at his home because they 'failed to make a good impression'. He says he loves me and that he is nervous because he really wants me to do everything perfectly so that his parents will 'love me' as much as he does.
He has also given me a list of do's and don'ts because he knows what will 'work' on his parents. Some of these borderline on the ridiculous and some completely patronising (i.e., I do know where to put a napkin) Here they are from his email:
offer to remove shoes when you arrive
remove your shoes even if they insist it is 'up to you'
no swear words - ever, even if we get married and we've been married for 40 years - no swearing in front of them.
never ever put a glass down on the table without a coaster - it is a cardinal sin
never take any alcohol, even if offered and waved in front of you insistently - IT IS A TEST - dad doesn't even know how to use a corkscrew - they don't drink.
make sure you eat everything on your plate
make sure you eat dessert however full you are
put the napkin on your lap
it is a round table - the bread plate is to your left.
They will watch how you eat like a hawk - pray there is no soup or spaghetti
when you are done eating leave your cutlery at 5'o clock position - dad is very particular about that
help clear the table even if told not to and do it as soon as my mum stands up
insist on washing up and do it very well - mum will check everything
wear the gloves for washing up or mum will say you don't take care of your hands and give you a long lecture about the importance of ladies keeping hands smooth
do not show me any affection and don't expect me to show you any
Don't talk about the environment - dad hates the environment
Make sure you emphatically tell them you don't have a tattoo and never will - I swore an oath to them I would never marry a girl with one.
My mother is practically psychic and can detect a lie or falseness a mile away so just be your lovely self, and just forgive my silly list.
I told him he is being ridiculous and controlling and how can I be myself with so many ridiculous 'pieces of advice' or even relax. I even threatened to get a tattoo. He is already a nervous wreck and he says that he is nervous because of his last 4 girlfriends though he says he didn't love them. I wasn't nervous before. I am sure his parents are lovely but now I don't even want to go. Its like I have to pass this 'test'. What do I do? I mean, I do eventually have to meet them.