Step right up, it's dating thread 97

[MyGastIsFlabbered]

We don't half get through these at speed!

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now)

Not much going on here. I even stopped responding to the 51 year old student as he sent about five messages in a row but didn't ask a question about me. Obviously just looking for an admirer. And fgs, he was a student. I was doing my best with little to go on. Is there a middle ground between an A6 driving Treasuer with his own tailor and a student in a hoodie in a house share? Find me that middle ground.

Ah, actually, that reminds me, still messaging mr canceller but by email. Just one a day, we were emailing back and forth to begin with but then after we arranged our date in a fortnight, I took the frequent messaging back a notch as I thought we'd burn out before meeting up!! I told my friend this morning that I was messaging mr canceller/ she remembered his name from ages ago, when I told her that I'd been on one date with him, organised a second and then he cancelled it. My friend looked at me like I was a fucking mugg. But although I was disappointed, he'd met me once. We had one date (nothing happened). He owed me nothing! So we'd arranged to meet again, but he cancelled with plenty of notice, now, the update I gave my friend was that 6 months later got in touch with me and I was chatting with him by email. But why not? He didn't do anything bad to me
I thought fondly of him, and enjoyed that date so yes, I replied. My friend's expression though........ like she despairs of me, continually being really stupid with men. I want to go on a second date with him. I liked him. He is more grounded than Bear, but less full of how great his own life is than H. So, could be a good middle ground. It will be one date.

But, Matthew Hussey would say that you set your own standards and I know that I'm not uncomfortable giving somebody I met once who cancelled a second date another chance months later. I can understand that sometimes you need a few months to process an experience, maybe even process it in relation to other experiences!!! My friend hasn't done internet dating. I liked this guy and he was good company and he prioritised work when he WAS very busy over me when he had met me once. My standards can bear that.

Would anyone be willing to take a look at my profile and critique it for me? I'm starting to worry that I'm either repulsive or dull or weird or some combination of the three and that's putting people off! I can reinstate my PoF profile and PM my username?

Glad to hear you had a great date waving! And good on you for calling him out on not following up. It will be interesting to see how he responds, if he does...

Hope you have a good time at your event folk. Try not to overthink what is going on with Mr2015 in regards to the event and his contact with you. I personally never contact FB friends if I see we will be at a mutual event...they don't contact me either unless it's someone I am extremely close to

So I've just said hello to someone on POF - not quite what I would normally go for looks wise but I do find him attractive on a different level and it seems like we may have some common interests, so we'll see if I get a response.

I think I need to branch out a little in the type of people I get to know and see what might happen. Definitely don't want someone similar to the ex!

Hi folk - I would

I'll be home within the hour so if you pm me I'll look when I get there and pm you back

My friend hasn't done internet dating. And that is the crux of it.
My (married) friends used to keep on at me to try OLD, thinking that I'd just trip over eligable men. Once you try it, you know that people you actually get on with are few and far between and you have to give them a chance.
I think you are right...he didn't do anything bad, you get on, why not have another try?

Born I will too if you like
314 Ignore what people think - do what the hell you want, whats to lose? Its just a date! Go for it.
waving glad last night has distracted you from Soho

Been continuing chat with MrTea and was undecided if I could fancy him or not, on that basis I decided to come clean about the latest goings on in my life and why I might not be so chatty or responsive at the moment, thinking that would make or break. He responded so nicely and thoughtfully and was really sweet, then I noticed that he'd put up some new pictures, ones where I can really see his face, and he has got stunning eyes! So I told him so , think a date might be on the cards soon. And now I've got chatting to a seemingly lovely fitty on bumble, new to the country - MrClogs (guess where he's from!).

Thanks Prizey and Mom, will PM now!

Prizey yay for the new irons. Better learn how to properly pronounce "Gouda" then

314 I agree people seem to have a lot to say when you do OLD. But they do not have a clue! Re Mr Canceller, I would say you have a lot less to lose than with any other first date since you already know he is good company. And he might have had an epiphany in those 6 months. Don't hold your breath but go for it!

Folk happy to critique if you need a third opinion! My OKC profile was heavily reviewed by my male best friend and I learnt a lot! Key seems to be to keep it short and think of it as giving plenty of conversation starters.

Re the Tinder frenzy, I should have said that I merely swipe right every 20/30 profiles (lots of time on my hands)! I should have joined the sweet shop earlier haha.

Got a text message from the guy I met Sunday. To paraphrase, the date was good, although he seemed a little 'off' at the end, I text him twice (yes I know) wanting to at least meet again to give it another try and if he wasn't interested to at least tell me so I could move on, no reply to either messages.
I then receive a text message this morning saying:
'hi, hope you're doing well.'
Completely out the blue.
I didn't know whether to reply, but I caved and sent this:
'Hi, thanks for the text. I'm doing good. I was wondering if you'd like to meet up again? You didn't reply to my last messages so I thought you had lost interest.'
No reply so far (sent the text about two hours ago).
I have a horrible feeling he's playing games with me. He seemed keen on the date, the end yeah he went into a hump, then ignored my messages and now randomly texting me.
I hate playing games but I did really like him during the date and thought we had a chemistry.
If he doesn't reply though I am not messaging him again. I've said my piece and it's up to him now.

waving yes he is.
It's so difficult not to message him though. I'm usually v chilled out when it comes to dating, but with him it just seems different.
I hate the fact he's keeping me warm.
I am going to sit on my hands haha! I had deleted his number before but when it message popped up I knew it was him. I've just re-deleted his number incase I get tempted.
I am chatting to a nice guy from OKcupid but not sure if he's my type really. Seems nice, friendly but not getting enough 'vibe' that makes me want to meet him. We'll see how it goes.

Thanks, I will check out what Mr Hussey has to say on profiles. I generally like what he says (and I like looking at him too!)

Jolly, I will PM you too, if that's OK?

Winter I think you should leave it now. I know it's hard when you think you've got chemistry with someone but if you really did, he'd have contacted you by now.

Men do not know how to get a conversation going! This is soo annoying. So the one I messaged this morning did say hey back...and asked how it's going...so I gave him a little something to get the ball rolling.

And what does he do? Ignores what I said and asks if I have bbm...when I say that I don't, he then asks for more pics. I do only have one pic on my profile - but it's a close up and a true reflection of what I look like in person...and the dude only has one pic also. I have considered adding a few more to my profile...but I find it difficult to select photos that I think are most accurate...and to be honest I don't want a bunch of men ogling me over the internet as well. The one I have there has gotten me a lot of comments and most men haven't asked for more than that. So kind of annoys me every once in a while when someone does. And even though I think I look nice in the one photo I do have up...even then I still think I present much better in person so I'm really not keen on looking through photos and possibly picking ones that might be less flattering.

The other thing is...I would never ask someone for additional photos...because wouldn't it be so insulting for me to just cut it after receiving them if their other pics weren't that good? And some people are just not photogenic so that might not even be totally fair. I don't see what good can come of it...I think it's just best to meet if a bit of chatting goes well.

I'm back after popping in briefly whilst skiving in my lunch break. I am 43 so find the messages from the 18 year olds on ok Cupid quite funny and/or bemusing!
I have been following these threads for months now and have found them really interesting and reassuring. I agree friends who are married have no clue how difficult it is online dating plus juggling work, kids, friends and trying to find a nice partner, all whilst dealing with ex-partners... I have been told I am too fussy or 'must be putting them off' by my mum, thanks for that!

Thanks yall. yes, you get it. My friend has not done OLD. I have to laugh at married people thinking that you'd be tripping over eligible men as soon as you're brave enough to do OLD!

Waving, impressed at your date from last night admitting he was discourteous.

I think if the woman is in the IDWAR position she can send a text saying ''thanks for last night, I'm not looking for a relationship, so take care, bye''.
It'd just make me laugh I think.

Haha laughing hard at that "discourteous" thing Waving he has a sense of understatement..

Winter I think you should leave it too. Chemistry is not everything and he is not showing signs of wanting to treat you well so you would be wasting your time

I am supposed to be going on a second meeting with a man on Friday night. We are not officially dating and have decided we are no sex friends. I want him to be my boyfriend though. I keep checking for messages and I seen to only hear from him every other day.

Aghhh

I knew him from playschool through to junior school and last saw him when I was 18 just to say hello and a small chat. Felt like we had known each other for years.

I need to calm down!!

I know, jolly/waving it sounds so Austen-esque which makes it funny in the circumstances!

I've had a litre of tyskie and I feel like ranting at Bear (over skype)
He told me earlier that it's been ''so long'' since he had sex and he ''needs'' sex.

Fucking makes me see red. Too many men like him out there. The entitlement. The absolute determination not to have a relationship, not to "fall in to the trap of a relationship" coupled with complete entitlement to sex, and he will get it, he will find it.

About three times I typed up a big rant and then deleted it. I'm not annoyed specifically with him. He's just a grain of sand on a beach that I'm really really annoyed with.