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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Step right up, it's dating thread 97

1000 replies

MyGastIsFlabbered · 18/02/2016 20:16

We don't half get through these at speed!

The Rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now)
OP posts:
JollyXmasJumper · 22/02/2016 20:07

Putting the list together as we go:

  1. says he is not ready for / does not want a relationship - right now (optional), but leaves the door open for you to chase him
  2. he shares more about himself than he asks about you
  3. he is into himself and he owns it (see inspired YOLO-type quotes)
  4. he chases you down while blowing hot and cold with ambiguous and/or mixed messages and/or long silences
  5. he compliments a lot - as his catch you are obviously a great one

Sad that we have pretty much all dated one - here is to never falling for a Bee, H, Soho, Popcorn again Wine

Any more red flags?

JollyXmasJumper · 22/02/2016 20:15

X posts again

Handy yup, cheers to that, goes hand in hand with 5. We are a SPECIAL catch. Popcorn made me blush with telling me constantly how smart he thought I was. And was very interested in hearing my career advice, so much than the 2 times he called me it was all about that!

Lacoba huh so cute. I am a complete cat lady and would be swooning.

Folk if the messaging is easy I would drag it a little to see if it is worth meeting up. If you have free time though, take it live, worst case scenario you get a free latte!

Lacoba66 · 22/02/2016 20:17

Projects his 'failings' on other peoples "faults" (ex was an expert at this- nothing was ever his fault!)

Shameandregret · 22/02/2016 20:17

BorntoFolk I could never date a Tory! That gas to be established pre date for sure!

Also, sorry another question, on my profile I state that I'm a mother but not how many dc's I have (3). Men don't seem to ask? As in I have to bring it up. Which I find odd. What does everyone else do?

WavingNotDrowning · 22/02/2016 20:20

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314Romaniac · 22/02/2016 20:29

Jolly can you add future-faking to that list. Like H used to do. 'now I know what to get you for your birthday' (in ten weeks). Mentioning his own birthday another six weeks after mine. Talking about mini breaks. And this one he said it on our last good date iyswim, he was asking me if I'd ever move to a nearby but more expensive place (he likes it there too). I said I can't afford it and he nudged me and said ''you never know what you could afford with somebody else''. That was about 12 hours before he woke up in my bed and decided to dump me!!! You have to laugh.

WavingNotDrowning · 22/02/2016 20:32

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BatshitCrazyWoman · 22/02/2016 20:39

Blimey, a woman goes on a lunchtime date instead of reading this thread and eating a sandwich and all sorts of stuff has gone on!

Waves to thread - I know I'm going to miss people out, apologies in advance.

Waving - I had a scout around on OKC to see if Soho was on there (he is in my age range, although he probably wants a younger woman, so I wouldn't be in his) - there's no-one likely using the name Andy, but there is a new chap, with a pic of him in front of the sea - could be in Thailand. Not much hair, but some pleasant-looking stubble. Has children. Not filled in his profile, it just says 'new here'. He's called 'Harbour something or other' Hmmm .... he 'liked' me.

You did well to use the lovely Mr Hussey's words, and I agree on the 'saying it with love' thing, when you want to poke him with pointy things it's a bit hard to do that! Anyway, it's his loss, he's a fuckwit ...

Shame - no judgement at all from me, but you can do whatever you want to do - you shouldn't feel you have to DTD so he doesn't move on. Do what you want.

Well done, those of you who are finding new irons.

Ahem ....

I met MrM at lunchtime. Like him a lot. Time totally ran away with us and I was a bit late back to my desk. Got an 'I like you and want to see you again' text.

WavingNotDrowning · 22/02/2016 20:44

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WavingNotDrowning · 22/02/2016 20:49

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BatshitCrazyWoman · 22/02/2016 20:57

I'll PM you Waving ...

WavingNotDrowning · 22/02/2016 21:06

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BatshitCrazyWoman · 22/02/2016 21:08

You could 'like' him, Waving

Glad it's not him.

WavingNotDrowning · 22/02/2016 21:13

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NotTodayDear · 22/02/2016 21:13

Hello all! Have just had a similar experience Waving with the distance thing - getting on for an hour and a half which is just not going to work for me. I have a lot of other stuff on with work, kids, life and can't waste three hours of an evening just driving.

Had a reasonable date a couple of weeks ago and agreed we'd meet up again, but for various (good) reasons it didn't happen and now he's away with work. Got various other chatters but seem to be having a phase of no-photo blokes contacting me, which always makes me a bit suspicious. I am not really feeling the joy of OD at the moment.

BatshitCrazyWoman · 22/02/2016 21:16

Oooh, good, go for it Waving.

Agree re: the distance thing. Very annoying - London is a big place, I wish OKC divided it at least into north, south etc.

BatshitCrazyWoman · 22/02/2016 21:23

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BornToFolk · 22/02/2016 21:25

Right, I've given him my no and suggest we WhatsApp a bit before meeting. We've literally exchanged about 5 messages each today and know nothing about each other and I'm just not comfortable meeting someone I know nothing about. I am setting my terms.

Batshit yay for the good lunchtime date! So, you'll see him again, yes?

BatshitCrazyWoman · 22/02/2016 21:26

Good for you, Folk, would be weird to meet someone without some more chatting!

Yes, I will see him again. Am waiting for him to ask (he's out tonight) ...

HandyWoman · 22/02/2016 21:35

Good work Folk and yey Batshit for you and MrM.

Is Sassy out with Scot right?

WavingNotDrowning · 22/02/2016 21:35

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ThreeFrazzledFandangos · 22/02/2016 21:39

I've been lurking about for a bit. Just slowly getting back into dating after having a Match disaster (lovely bloke, threw ourselves in with both feet, both ended up falling to bits) before Christmas.

I'm not even dating yet, just a bit of Tinder chat to ease myself in gently and get used to not taking things too seriously.

For future reference Waving, if you put your phone into aeroplane mode and then read your message it stays "unread"! (This was from the other thread. Didn't realise you'd all moved on!)

BatshitCrazyWoman · 22/02/2016 21:43

Waving I don't think you can search, I'll PM you the link.

WavingNotDrowning · 22/02/2016 21:45

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WavingNotDrowning · 22/02/2016 21:50

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