Step right up, it's dating thread 97

[MyGastIsFlabbered]

We don't half get through these at speed!

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now)

Just had a message from a 51 year old, he looks alright, but he says he can be my knight in shining armour. There is nothing in my profile that would suggest I need or am looking for a knight in shining arm. He's a student. So I don't even know if he could buy me a glass of wine and some curly fries.

Well I just swiped right but I didn't boom with him so am prob too far away, I'm in Cambridge!! He's not my type so don't worry, looks a nice enough guy but I prefer younger.

mom2k yeh, nothing on tv is going to reach 100% of the population. I hated formula 1. I hated football. They're still on TV though. I had to endure hours of formula 1 with my x.

Then my dad used to get up at four am to watch cricket, but reprimand me for watching Holby City and Casualty. I could have turned them off, but like you say, it was on, I was sitting there, why not! And, my mum and dad had two sitting rooms in their house, so what the problem was I don't know. is it any wonder i ended up with a controlling man

Erm, yeah, possibly! To be honest, I was swiping while in the queue at Aldi and I just kind of registered that there was a boat involved and a place that looked like it could be Thailand. I really should have screenshotted before swiping, shouldn't I? Ah well.

See, I'm not sure if the issues with Mr2015 are anything to do with dragging up stuff from any prior relationships. When exP left me, even though it was incredibly shit, I knew 100% that he was wrong and I could hate him. There was no confusion, no doubt, no regrets. I did nothing wrong, he fucked up and I channelled all that hate into getting a good deal financially for me and DS and rebuilding our lives and I was pretty much over him when I got together with Mr2015 and I'm definitely over him now.
With Mr2015 everything is muddied because of his condition. There are certain things he did and ways I was treated that I didn't like but excused because he was manic/depressed. There's so much confusion, so many doubts. He's impossible to read. He's a shiny bauble man and when his attention is on you, it's amazing. But he always kept me at arms length. And I feel like I wasn't enough to make him "better" which I know is utterly ridiculous because one person can't make another person better.

See? There are more than enough issues for me to deal with with Mr2015 himself without digging up any from old relationships!

mom2k yes, those 'are you like my x'? moments are a bit scary aren't they? H (the one who dumped me early Feb) had much better people skills than my x, and he had a very healthy self-esteem whereas my x had an inflated ego, but there were similarities. They even had the same job. I have been thinking about that. My first bf after my x was such a kind man, a teacher. Nothing like my X. Then the next was a bit mad as it turns out, the fake buddist, but also nothing like my x. So it is something to watch out for maybe, drifting back towards men who bear even the tiniest similarity to my X. That I don't want.

If even one of us could arrange a date with Soho, then the rest of us could flash mob him! Throw him out on to the street, with one sock, no belt, his shirt buttoned up wrong.

If even one of us could arrange a date with Soho, then the rest of us could flash mob him! Throw him out on to the street, with one sock, no belt, his shirt buttoned up wrong.

Women who enjoy sex with randos, good for them, but they're inadvertently ruining my love life. thanks.

Absolutely. Men can literally get sex immediately via one click of the mouse. I had someone requesting it last night at 10pm (he the local chap who is good looking, all own hair/teeth/job, sounds like he actually has his life together too).

Nothing from Soho. Maybe he smells a rat or maybe the dentist anaesthetised his fingers as well as his gums haha!

Born I see now where you're coming from with Mr2015 sounds like a limerance thing? Like there is something there that you still crave? Very tricky. That's tough to let go of. Stay on here hun. I'm on here navel gazing as much as the rest. I sure as hell don't seem to be doing any dating!!!

waving I worry that if you meet this guy tomo you will automatically compare him to Soho and find him wanting? Or maybe he could be a good distraction?

Anyway I hope Soho at least replies to you with something and then you can move on properly.

I'm in a place of not wanting a relationship right now, because I have too much else to prioritise. But I really, really want to find someone to flirt, go out for drinks and other stuff with!

I did wonder about limerance. There is definitely something I still crave or just find compelling about him. The good thing is that the guys I've seen since him have been much easier to get over, so it's not me and it's not everyone that I might get involved in, which is kind of comforting!

Women who enjoy sex with randos, good for them, but they're inadvertently ruining my love life. thanks I laughed out loud at that! Yup, of course, women are entitled to want no strings sex as much as men are but if they would just STOP then it would make life easier for the rest of us!

He really is a prize egotistical knobwank.

Sorry but he is.

Still, his message does open the door to the following reply 'yeah, I don't like you much either - am too busy for platonic drinks, see you around.'

But it's up to you waving whether you put that ball in the back of the net. I really would. Then I'd block.

I hope they have a punchbag at the gym!

Here's your that you have truly earned today, girlfren'

waving what a twat. Me, me, me, me. No "sorry for messing you about", or "I hope you're OK", just expecting you to be there waiting while he sorts his stuff out (and messages every single woman in London!)

I love the flash mob idea!!

I can identify with the limerance thing, I think if you've had a strong connection with someone and then its taken away from you, its out of your hands and you crave it, whereas if its in your hands you don't necessarily want it - its the whole wanting what you haven't got. I had it bad over someone who disappeared and that has stopped me getting very close to anyone again, I'm trying to protect myself as I don't want to feel that craving again!

Oh bloody hell Soho, what a knob you are. Waving I love handy's response, double dare you!

New iron, Chef, lovely curly hair. Messaged me very soon after matching...

OLD has taught me a lot about what I go for, and hair is definitely a thing!

So Soho wants to munch on a variety of tempting green grass before deciding if he likes yours best, Waving. Pfffffffff.

Chef horse rides..... ❤️

No way tanya - how exciting!!!

Wow.

"Me. Me. Me. The stress of being me, poor me, life is so hard.''

Waving, carrying on processing it! I went on about H for at least ten days. It helped so much being able to vent here.

I hope you can still get your two pence worth in, tell him "it's fine, really, you weren't for me, because even in a fairly casual relationship i expect communication, consistency and respect, so I know we weren't a good fit in the end.'' WHAT WITH ME BEING A DECENT HUMAN BEING SOHO

Make him feel like he has no dating skills.