Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2 ··· 8 9 10 ··· 13 14

Original poster

Spying on whatsap

331 replies

Lucyloo2222 · 11/02/2016 15:36

Hi does anyone know if my activity can be looked at on whatsap ? My partner is very jealous and seems to know who I've been having conversations with on whatsap . When I get in he always asks have I heard from anyone today and if I miss anyone out he will say their name and ask are you sure you haven't heard from then . He's obsessed every time I use my phone asking 'who is that ? What are they saying ? ' . I was wandering how accessible this information is as he has no access to my phone as I constantly have to change my code . This isn't because I have ever done anything wrong it's just that in the past he has took my phone in the night while I've been asleep and helped himself to what he wants

OP posts:

Original poster

Lucyloo2222 · 14/02/2016 16:49

Spent last night at work looking for removal quotes etc and just planning things , writing things down etc . I felt it strange that something has changed . Last night he didn't contact me at all which is really weird as I usually have loads of texts questioning me of my movements . Plus , Saturday's are usually more intense as he can sometimes think I've not gone to work and I'm on done dance floor somewhere . And .. It's usually worse when He has his DD , like last night whom is in bed at 8 so he is restricted to following me . Just found it odd . Mix56 yes I've already out heating on at house etc . I've been parking round the corner and walking to the house to sort some bits out x

OP posts:

Buzzardbird · 14/02/2016 17:47

I think he is reading this OP.

Marchate · 14/02/2016 17:53

He knows. He's reading your posts. Be careful

PainAuChocolat23 · 14/02/2016 17:56

I also think he is reading this so please please be careful lucy

sapphirestars · 14/02/2016 18:08

Those last two posts that people have said he's reading these have made me go cold. I've logged in just to say please be careful. I'm frightened for you. Sorry I shouldn't say that but we are all here for you!!

eddielizzard · 14/02/2016 18:09

good luck and take care lucy.

WitchWay · 14/02/2016 18:18

Glad you're making plans.

FantasticButtocks · 14/02/2016 18:30

If he is reading this, then I wonder if he is starting to see that not only are his actions totally inappropriate as well as sad, pathetic and really very unattractive, but also unlawful.

I wonder if he is starting to realise what he's actually done. In keeping tabs on you, he has driven you away.

I'm sure he's got a list as long as your arm of 'reasons' why he's had to keep you under scrutiny in this way.... It will be because of you, it will be your behaviour that's made him do this. He won't take responsibility for this, he'll blame you.

But, as everyone knows, you can't force someone to stay in a relationship. You can't be in control of what other people choose to do, and who they meet for coffee, who they text, what they post on the Internet. He's tried this, and it hasn't worked. He has just driven you to be sneaky, he's driven you away from being able to live him, and he's probably driven himself crazy into more and more extreme monitoring of you. Not exactly a way to nurture a loving relationship.

I suppose (if he's been reading this) he might think his only hope of you not leaving him and reporting him to the police, would be for him to stop the behaviour. So maybe that's why he's backed off a bit with the constant texts etc. Maybe he'll confess to you what he's been doing and beg for your forgiveness. I doubt that though.

Follyfoot · 14/02/2016 18:31

Maybe you should get this thread deleted Lucy? Although I suspect he has already read it, hence the lack of contact yesterday

FantasticButtocks · 14/02/2016 18:34

Sorry for typo - should say he's driven you away from being able to love him

Rainbowlou1 · 14/02/2016 18:43

You have lots of support here and I'm sure if any of us are near you you'd have lots of rl support too

silverfoxofwarwick1952 · 14/02/2016 18:44

I hope the partner is reading this.

I hope he then realises that he has been identified. Not by us but by Big Brother. No poster here can go without leaving little traces of themselves. In the words they use, the grammar, the little clues they leave about their relationship and the other family ties around them.

And then there is the electronic footprint. The fact that we all (unless we are in Russia) leave little clues behind us that say where we were to within 2 metres every day we went to Costa, or walked the dog, or hacked into someone else's device, every time we followed their car, we were being tracked. If a crime is committed I have no doubt that MN and others will pass that electronic footprint on.

So OP's partner, if you are watching then best behave. Being asked to pass the dropped soap in Wormwood Scrubs will not be to your liking.

Marchate · 14/02/2016 18:45

You may be in danger. Contact a friend, neighbour, anyone, immediately so you are being watched in a benign way - not malignantly monitored

silverfoxofwarwick1952 · 14/02/2016 18:45

Oh... and you will not be able to do anything about it.

BoGrainger · 14/02/2016 18:52

Good luck Lucy, hope all goes well for you x

unimaginativename13 · 14/02/2016 20:52

Go into your settings on What's App and look at What's App Web.

It'll show if he's got your what's app on his IPad and you can disconnect it.

Vedamakesthebesttoast · 15/02/2016 07:06

If he is reading this then he may well change his plans to take out on the day you think he'll be away. Please make sure you have some support when you go around to collect your things, and I mean present their and then support... Preferably of the male and or uniformed variety!
Good luck, you're doing the right thing getting away now before it gets worse and you end up too entrenched and physically abused.

Buttercup443 · 15/02/2016 07:36

God this thread has made my blood go cold. Poor Lucy, I hope you are okay.

Please get some support, as other said male and uniformed preferably.

OPs partner if you are reading this: what you have done to your girlfriend is highly abusive, disrespectful and inhumane.

Clearly you don't want her to be who she is and hence your controlling behaviour.

Let her go and mind your behaviour. As others said you will be leaving little clues and this thread will be the first one to get read by police if anything happens to Lucy.

You won't get away with anything at all!

bakeoffcake · 15/02/2016 07:44

Lucy please tell other people that you are leaving and tell them why. Tell them as much as you can about how he has been behaving.

You will be safer if others know.

mix56 · 15/02/2016 07:51

I hope you are OK Lucy.
Sudden change in his behaviour, does indicate he has infiltrated your computer & phone & is watching all your mail & history. & is now aware of your intention to move out.
No point in pulling this thread if he has read it.
But there is a chance that he does not infact do his day out with his DD, & lays in wait for you.
So please do contact the police number for domestic violence & get it logged so that when the removal van arrives, if he is in anyway difficult or tries to intervene you can call the cops. Plus getting this logged will be helpful if he starts harassing you later.

wonkylampshade · 15/02/2016 08:06

I honestly think you should report the obsessive prick. It'll do no harm for his name to be stored at the police station. He's a mad, controlling stalker and you need to be careful as who knows what on earth he is capable of.

How did his relationship with his dd's mum come to an end and how are his interactions with her now? Do you know her, could you maybe have a chat to her?

IguanaTail · 15/02/2016 09:13

Lucy are you ok ?

Grapeeatingweirdo · 15/02/2016 09:21

Seconded, really worried about you

PregnantAndEngaged · 15/02/2016 09:39

I too am worried :(

Barmaid101 · 15/02/2016 10:13

Don't forget to redirect your mail especially if he does read it etc. Stay safe, please report the cunt to the police and stay safe! Please do keep us updated, lots of us are very worried!

Flip

1 2 ··· 8 9 10 ··· 13 14