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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Spying on whatsap

331 replies

Lucyloo2222 · 11/02/2016 15:36

Hi does anyone know if my activity can be looked at on whatsap ? My partner is very jealous and seems to know who I've been having conversations with on whatsap . When I get in he always asks have I heard from anyone today and if I miss anyone out he will say their name and ask are you sure you haven't heard from then . He's obsessed every time I use my phone asking 'who is that ? What are they saying ? ' . I was wandering how accessible this information is as he has no access to my phone as I constantly have to change my code . This isn't because I have ever done anything wrong it's just that in the past he has took my phone in the night while I've been asleep and helped himself to what he wants

OP posts:
Rainbowlou1 · 23/02/2016 23:36

We are all behind you x

GlitteryFluff · 24/02/2016 09:37

You're doing really well.
You can do this.
Do keep checking in, so we know you're ok, even if (understandably) you can't 'update' much.
Good luck X

Buzzardbird · 24/02/2016 09:46

Hope all goes well. Flowers

Barmaid101 · 24/02/2016 12:26

Good luck Flowers

Grapeeatingweirdo · 28/02/2016 09:30

Are you OK OP?

Rainbowlou1 · 28/02/2016 21:25

I've been thinking of you and hoping everything is ok x

mix56 · 29/02/2016 21:24

Lucy ?

Barmaid101 · 01/03/2016 00:16

Hope you are safe!

PregnantAndEngaged · 01/03/2016 09:15

I'm really hoping that the lack of reply is just due to Lucy having a hectic time what with the move.

Please update us when you can, we're worried about you

Original poster
Lucyloo2222 · 01/03/2016 14:15

I'm really sorry everyone .. I've been up to my eyes on things . It has no way been as straight forward as I thought . I am out now eventually but things did not go to plan . The day I planned to go I was certain he wouldn't be around but , he was. He never went out for his train etc so I had to cancel it and rearrange it all . He literally didn't move away from the house until I was out at work . It's been a real stressful stop and start time . He guessed I was moving to my house and took keys ,he said were spare that he found but I think he had them cut a long time ago . He admitted he had been down to the house while I was out and saw all my things I'd been buying and storing . He was furious . He is also furious that I've taken the furniture (which is all mine ) before his dd s party on Sunday ( whoops ) . Anyway , I'm out but I think I feel just as bad now . I feel I'm being watched from my house . Been sitting with the lights low and parking my car across the rd . But maybe I'm just paranoid eh . Sorry taking my time to update x

OP posts:
Whisky2014 · 01/03/2016 14:33

Did he read this thread?

Marchate · 01/03/2016 14:37

We thought he was probably reading this thread

Have you changed the lock at your house?

shoeaddict83 · 01/03/2016 14:42

Im so glad you got out Lucy, but as PP said please change the locks, you have no idea how many sets he copied.
Glad you managed to get the furniture too, least thats a weight off your mind.
You shouldn't feel like a prisoner in your own home, try to carry on as normal as you can, if he tries to come to the house or you see him on your street watching the house then call the non-emergency police number and explain the circumstances, im sure theyd be able to advise whats best to do.

Mamia15 · 01/03/2016 15:45

Please do talk to the police - call 101.

PhoenixReisling · 01/03/2016 15:49

Call the police and tell them what you have said here.

The spying
The sitting outside your home
That you are scared
How he is furious

Rainbowlou1 · 01/03/2016 16:36

So glad you are out..my neighbour has been through similar recently and installing cctv outside the front door seemed to be enough to deter him.
Keep safe and please change the locks, don't hesitate to report it so its all on record if you ever need it-nobody should feel unsafe in their own home X

pinkyredrose · 01/03/2016 17:04

OP he could have installed secret cameras in your house, he sounds the type to do it. This happened to someone I know, she eventually found hidden cameras in plant pots, old video players, curtain poles, in the bathroom. I would check your house with a fine tooth comb.

Iamnuts · 01/03/2016 18:18

Lucyloo, I've been lurking on your thread and waiting anxiously for the update that you've made the move. Well done, that was a huge ordeal, but life will get better once you have adjusted to being without that ***.

BUT, don't think that he will have been to your house once, seen all your things and come back furious. He would have gone once, his suspicions would have been confirmed and he would have gone back several times. He wouldn't have been able to keep away, and all the time going through your papers etc and planning his next move.

Please, please change all the locks as soon as possible, and don't use your phone in the house. Tell the police (if you haven't already) the whole story and get them to check the house for listening devices/cameras. If you have a laptop there, don't use it till it has been checked for keystroke tracker and other spy software. If he has planted any devices in the house and the police find them you should have a strong case for a restraining/harrassment order.

WitchWay · 01/03/2016 19:10

Yes, change the locks & report that you don't feel safe.

Ifiwasabadger · 01/03/2016 19:19

Just as an FYI, you CAN have what's app open on your phone, and the Internet, at the same time.

Good luck OP.

MyMoneyIsAllSpent · 01/03/2016 21:09

I also feel very concerned about your safety. Obviously change the locks but be aware that there are recording devices/cameras available that look so innocent. :(

If you are feeling uneasy I really recommend you listen to that feeling. Please have a good look around your home to check for anything suspicious, and bear in mind, he could have had some kind of recording device in the home you shared with him. Some can take the form of a pen or a soft toy...

ConkersDontScareSpiders · 02/03/2016 07:17

Glad you got out OP-you've done amazingly.but as everyone has said change the locks and log all of this with the police.

Buttercup443 · 02/03/2016 07:44

Hi Lucy, glad to read your update and to see you've been able to gather your belongings and you're out. Sorry to hear it didn't go to plan.

Lidl recently had some good quality security cameras for sale ~£29,- I would make sure you get a camera for front and back door to deter anyone lurking around the house. I would also invest in a motion activated bright light outside to illuminate gardens and back if someone sneaks around.

Keep a pepper spray with you and definitely change locks and as OP said log with police that you left an abusive boyfriend.

Wishing you the very best of luck!!

Barmaid101 · 02/03/2016 10:53

Please contact the police! I wouldn't be surprised if he has meddled with some of your items or put spy cams in! You need a restraining order!
So pleased you are at least out the house

MsMims · 02/03/2016 11:44

Well done Lucy, you've done brilliantly. Flowers

Moving forward, I echo all of buttercups suggestions. Police as a priority, but motion sensored security lights are a really good idea, especially if you feel on edge at night time. I would hope the police would put your number on high alert so if you do call them, it's treated as an urgent situation.

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