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Original poster

I farted in front of new boyfriend this weekend by accident

101 replies

Startingout2015 · 07/02/2016 22:47

We were heading out for dinner and as I got out of the car it just slipped out.
It wasn't quiet.

I am mortified.

We laughed but I was so embarrassed.

Please tell me these things happen .

OP posts:

FlatOnTheHill · 07/02/2016 23:23

Im fucking crying here

Pannn · 07/02/2016 23:27

Red Flag for him. He should LTBitch. Sorry.

FlatOnTheHill · 07/02/2016 23:28

Vocational
Ive just read your post

ChesterFuckingDraws · 07/02/2016 23:32

Valentine's card for your BF OP

I suffer from IBS so my poor DH has heard me fart a lot, I'm considering this card as its right up his street!!

I farted in front of new boyfriend this weekend by accident

NoCapes · 07/02/2016 23:33

Omg can not stop laughing at Vocationals stories

PovertyPain · 07/02/2016 23:34

Ffs! I held it together, just, until I read your post Vocational. Laughed that much my 25yr old came rushing into by room, to see why I was so "Upset". He wasn't impressed when I tried to explain.

HairySubject · 07/02/2016 23:34

I remember the first time I farted infront of ex, we were drifting off to sleep and as I relaxed ..... well I woke myself up and shot away from ex , looked at him and he was still asleep, so I lay back sown, closed my eyes and did it again. Well the ex who had managed to keep composed and pretend to be asleep the first time lost it and laughed so I laughed too, and trumped again!

Hygge · 07/02/2016 23:38

If it makes you feel any better.

I was on a first date with someone, and we walked to the cinema and back.

On the way home I realised I needed to fart, but held it in because of noise or smell and it being a first date and all.

I didn't live far away. I could have made it all the way home just slightly clenched and nobody would have been any the wiser.

Except part of the way home included walking down a slightly muddy incline.

I slipped, and skidded upright all the way to the bottom, farting audibly all the way, because the shock of slipping stopped me clenching. It was like I was being powered down the slope by that fart.

And then I just stood there at the bottom of the hill and waited for him to catch up with me, while he smirked a bit but politely never said a word.

happyhearts7 · 07/02/2016 23:38

Vocational and Wellies
I suffer from bowel problems, (suspected Crohn's Disease) so DH has had to get used to me & my funny guts with noises

tigermoll · 07/02/2016 23:47

Honestly, farting for women is SO MUCH of a bigger deal than it is for men. They don't really care about it that much -- and the ones that do aren't worth bothering with.

DrFoxtrot · 07/02/2016 23:50

Oh God this is one of my irrational worries, when sleeping next to a new partner I can barely sleep in case I fart, I was the same during a hospital stay. I've got so used to sleeping alone. I think you've done it the best way accidentally OP, its out there now and you can relax .

Bettercallsaul1 · 07/02/2016 23:54

I can never have another child and risk meeting this midwife again.

ComposHatComesBack · 07/02/2016 23:55

If I were your date I would be appalled...

that you didn't ask me to pull your finger before you farted.

tigermoll · 07/02/2016 23:59

I can barely sleep in case I fart

I used to work as a life model (totally naked in front of a class of art students). During a sculpture modelling class a relaxed pose held for a long time I fell asleep and farted myself awake.

BWAHAHAAHA -- embarrassing for me, but let's face it, totally hilarious.

FrancieC23 · 08/02/2016 00:04

Vocational crying laughing after reading your post!

DrFoxtrot · 08/02/2016 00:08

tigermoll that's what happens to me, I can't relax and I can feel myself waking up from a light sleep farting. I don't think the older ladies in my hospital bay would have been bothered, at least it wasn't a room of students!

tigermoll · 08/02/2016 00:15

But think about it this way -- have you ever thought less of someone for farting?? By that I don't mean glorying in bodily functions/deliberating farting in someone's face/holding the duvet over their face aggressive farting. Just the natural one-slipped-out-whoops type farting.

Let's face it, no one can be in perfect control of their body all the time -- we're all just human. And all humans fart. If you were woken up by someone farting in a hospital bay, you'd giggle. You'd be glad it wasn't you. But you wouldn't think 'OMG, what filthy beast has dared to pass gas?? What a strange creature she must be. I'd NEVER do something like that.' You'd just, y'know, giggle about it. So all you;ve done is give someone a giggle.

notquitehuman · 08/02/2016 00:15

Did he fart back within 30 seconds? If not, then congratulations, you've won the farting contest!

My DH regularly farts himself awake. I don't mind, as long as it's not on my leg.

Smorgasboard · 08/02/2016 00:16

Farted loudly, majority of times, right at the point of orgasm, at the beginning of current relationship :-0. Mortified initially, but he was very good about it, as anyone should be. I however, got to point of mild apprehension when approaching future points (not enough to put me right off achieving, but as it cut short the experience in its tracks, pissed me off when it happened tbh).
Odd really as never noticed it happen with anyone previously, at that precise moment, just when you wouldn't want to, and now I think about it, not so much since, maybe it was a phase. I felt cursed at the time, though I see the funny side.
The body works in mysterious ways ....

DrFoxtrot · 08/02/2016 00:29

I wouldn't think less of someone for farting :) and once it's happened I am more comfortable with farting myself. It's also the same when pooing for the first time in someone's house. It's ridiculous really the anxiety this produces.

tigermoll · 08/02/2016 00:40

DrFoxtrot you're right, it is ridiculous how anxious it can make you. I grew up in a house where bodily functions were not talked about AT ALL. My mother seemed to feel ashamed of everything periods, farting, the having of breasts, being even slightly fat, EVERYTHING. It took me years to work out that having a body was not something to be ashamed about even now, when I'm in a changing room and see my own body, I have to remind myself that what I feel is her shame, not mine.

And I've been fortunate enough to have had many (male) lovers over the years. Not one of them have been as hung up about farts or pooing as I have. Maybe farts are a feminist issue :)

TheFormidableMrsC · 08/02/2016 00:40

Hygge

I LOVE the idea of being powered along by a fart now on bucket list

Smorgasboard · 08/02/2016 00:46

... would recommend never going out for a big curry,the night before going into labour, there's more than just wind that can expel in such circumstances - "could you flush this log down for me please, before the midwife comes back ?" does not go too well, with a poo-phobic individual, who's wretches echoed loudly, from the en-suite as he dealt with the wrapped up deposit.
I'd say, farting is small potato in comparison, but the ex deserved that, a rare moment where he was of some use ;-). Saved my embarrassment to others.

Angeladelight · 08/02/2016 01:14

The first time I heard my boyfriend fart was the first time we had sex (during!). He was mortified and I was in hysterics . You just have to laugh these things off it happens!

Katieemilyxo · 08/02/2016 01:20

So we all have to fart I would just laugh thats just me x

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