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Original poster

would you date a shorter man?

212 replies

AmserGwin · 05/02/2016 16:55

Sorry if been done before. Had a date last night with a guy I met on-line and when I got there he was a good few inches shorter than me. I had wedges on, though not huge ones and am 5'5''. It did put me off to be honest, and I feel awful for being so shallow as he was really nice, and good looking. I suspect he would still be shorter than me if I was wearing flats, help! Should I meet him again? Would you date a guy that's shorter than you?

OP posts:
UareWhatUeat · 06/02/2016 07:22

No. Taller men just seem more manly

And then there is small man syndrome where they put on an act to compensate

I would stay friends with him but continue looking

bettyberry · 06/02/2016 07:26

Yes twice. First was absolutely fine same height and shoe size funnily enough and loved the fact we could swap shoes. My goth days. We live in military style boots/doc martens and new rocks so doubled our outfits Grin second time I was ok with it but he was really insecure. I'm 5'6 with size 8-9 feet. He was 5'5 with size 7 feet and it really irked him.

He hated me wearing heels and even wore larger shoes because he couldn't handle my feet were 1 size bigger than his.

Granted this is a rare thing to be so insecure about height/size but it has certainly put me off dating short guys even with the great first relationship.

Current chap is 6ft so I can wear my heels again without a strop!

Roussette · 06/02/2016 07:58

It's a physucal and a mental thing for me, call it shallow if you want. We all have things that appeal and things that don't... lovely eyes, colour of hair, a deep voice, whatever... it is not that you are ruling out everyone who doesnt match up, it's more a case of something deep inside that attracts that you can't get away from, a sort of mating instinct!

Before I met DH I did date a couple of men shorter than me and they were the ones that seemed to worry about it more than me and they had a real chip on their shoulder about it!

Lurkedforever1 · 06/02/2016 08:20

I don't care if it makes me sound shallow. I'm not going to lie and pretend I don't need to be physically as well as mentally attracted to people. And for me, being eye level or above is a physical quality that attracts me. I don't believe it's down to the old stereotype of men needing to be bigger either. I'm slight enough that despite my height, I don't look or feel big next to slight and much shorter men. It doesn't mean I think shorter men are less attractive in general, just my taste. Fwiw there's also a few Hollywood A listers, and various pop stars that most females drool over, that don't attract me either.

I also would not be the least offended by anyone just not being physically attracted to any of my characteristics.

ConkersDontScareSpiders · 06/02/2016 08:24

My bf is the same height as me-if not fractionally shorter,and sometimes I wish he was a bit taller.But it's not a deal breaker as its his only negative point and you can't have it all Smile

SoupDragon · 06/02/2016 08:27

It's a good job men don't (I assume) feel the same, otherwise all heterosexuals would be locked in a desperate struggle to find a partner who matched them exactly in height, and dating would become nigh in impossible.

No it wouldn't because people all like different things in a person!

Towardsthesun · 06/02/2016 08:36

That's so funny about the man wearing larger shoes. He must have been really hung up.

I haven't been out with a man smaller than me (5'4'') and wouldn't choose to but I suppose if I already knew someone and became attracted to them it might not bother me.

I know a short man about 5'2'' who is very popular but he is a loud larger than life funny man and he gets away with it.

SurferJet · 06/02/2016 08:36

No never.
I don't even notice men unless they're minimum 5'.9.

Savagebeauty · 06/02/2016 08:38

the shoes
That's the sort of thing my ex would do.

UareWhatUeat · 06/02/2016 08:40

Agree the short guys usually are larger than life or they have to do something to try and make the shortfall up

Why would you want to see the top of someone's head lol

They always seem to have a complex about it as well

If it's only been one date and you aren't sure then I'd say trust your instinct and wait for the right guy for you

PerspicaciaTick · 06/02/2016 08:42

Probably not. A couple of inches wouldn't worry me but a lot shorter would be an issue. I always seem to end up with short men on eye level with my cleavage, which is uncomfortable but if someone made the effort to look at my face I'd be happier.

ThursdayLastWeek · 06/02/2016 08:45

No. Taller men just seem more manly

And then there is small man syndrome where they put on an act to compensate

I would stay friends with him but continue looking

This is the biggest load of judgemental, generalising bollox I've seen in this thread. And it has fair competition.

So you honestly believe that a persons height is indicative of their entire character???

TattieHowkerz · 06/02/2016 08:50

Yes. I'm very tall, almost everyone I've dated has been smaller. DP is 5'10", which is shorter than me.

A friend of a friend is 5'6" and her husband is about 5'2". He is attractive and confident, probably because he is the tall one in his family! I don't think his height is something they think about much, I know that when they first met it made her think twice it she's glad she got over it!

Roussette · 06/02/2016 08:54

Not all bollocks, no. Taller men do seem more manly to me. If a bloke was 6 inches shorter than me and far more slight with a smaller waist, hands and feet, I would feel more like the man than him.

You honestly can't change what appeals, it's deep inside - like for instance I would be a bit turned off if someone I'd just met on a first date had a high squeaky voice. Why is it wrong to have preferences, we can't all fancy everyone and that's a good thing.

TwistInMySobriety · 06/02/2016 08:55

Seriously, nice, good-looking and 90% of your competition dismissing him out of hand because of his height? You'd be mad not to give him at least a second date.

Seeyounearertime · 06/02/2016 09:05

No. Taller men just seem more manly

I wonder how a tall woman may feel if someone didn't want a second date because they were too tall and not "womanly" enough? Hmm

Potterwolfie · 06/02/2016 09:05

5ft 11 here and DH is 5ft 10, not an issue for either of us and I'm happy to wear heels every now and again, though normally run around in Converse/flat boots.

When single many, many moons ago, I wouldn't have felt comfortable dating anyone much shorter than me though, and honestly, I found many men to be intimidated by tall women, almost as if they were really angry with me for being taller than them!

ThursdayLastWeek · 06/02/2016 09:05

Rousette

I think your first sentance would be better written as 'Taller men do seem more manly to me'.

I would say manliness is a bollox concept, and even if it were remotely important in this day and age it cannot catergotically be measured by a mans physical appearance.

Fancy who you want. Dont apply weird preconceptions to those you don't.

CottonFrock · 06/02/2016 09:08

I'm married to one, and he's an incredible person, and still very attractive to me after 24 years together.

Some of the 'no, you can't help what you're attracted to, and short men arent manly enough for me' people might want to think about why they've been socialised to think they are supposed to feel all ickle and feminine beside their man, rather than it being something hard wired and innate that they 'can't help'.

And where would you stand on men saying they would never contemplate dating a woman who was less than D cup, because small-breasted women aren't 'feminine', and it would feel like dating a boy and their friends would laugh?

UareWhatUeat · 06/02/2016 09:09

Squeaky voice also a no. lol
Just doesn't attract me or seem manly

The op said she's dating. She's only had one date so not as though it's an arranged marriage and she has to settle for someone shorter that she's not sure if she is attracted to

Keep him as a friend but keep looking because if you aren't that attracted the short guy now, then you definitely won't be a few years down the line

To the really tall people saying they date shorter men. If you are 5.10 or over female you don't really have much choice do you. You were born taller than the person posting so not in the same situation.

Some people can settle for not being that attracted to their partner and focus on other qualities they have

And some people need to physically feel attracted for a relationship to work

I couldn't date a short man I just wouldn't fancy him
I've been friends with a few short guys and thought hmmm shame you're not taller haha

Likewise squeaky voice or girly hand movements or anything just a massive turn off

I think that's why so many men have facial hair atm as they've realised its making them more manly, therefore more attractive

ThursdayLastWeek · 06/02/2016 09:13

Some people can settle for not being that attracted to their partner and focus on other qualities they have

OR some people find other qualities in their partners more important and attractive than their height!

I agree entirely with CottonFrock post.

UareWhatUeat · 06/02/2016 09:14

If you compare it to the animal world. The alpha male leads the pack and has all the females as he usually the biggest strongest tallest most attractive one

It's natural to be attracted to taller men

My oh is 6.3
Other girls are always looking at him tbh

Towardsthesun · 06/02/2016 09:16

I have a tall friend who married a shorter man and in all the wedding photos her head is flopped to one side to make her look shorter (they are no longer together but that's another story.)

Pidapie · 06/02/2016 09:16

I'm only 5"3 so it is unlikely that I would meet a man who is shorter than me apart from dwarfism (not sure what the pc word for this is). I don't see a big problem about it. I much prefer taller guys, and my partner is tall enough for me to wear heels without being taller than him. But if I was single and met someone amazing, it wouldn't be a problem :)

UareWhatUeat · 06/02/2016 09:17

One negative is that living with a taller guy. You might have to buy a new bed

When we moved in together I had a sleigh bed I'd bought the year before and loved and he couldn't fit his feet on it lol

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