The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Battling The Wicked Wine Witch, One Day At A Time!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm mouse, one of the Babes who have been on this lovely, rickety bus called Gerald for some time now!

There's no judgy pants worn on this bus, nor hoking of bosoms!! It's filled with every day life, love and laundry. As simple as that. The rest falls in between.

We're a welcoming, supporting thread, filled with a mine of information from many years of experience, from those who have consumed alcohol day in, day out...hidden the 'habit', the lie, disguised our drinking with many an excuse. So perfected over the years or new to the guilt of drinking more than you think you should.....

Anyway, old or new, lurker or not, come and say hello to us if you feel the need. We'd love to meet you if we haven't already :)

Thank you for reading this, find a seat, hide green opal fruits if you find any, they're like gold dust around here! Aren't they ma!!

See you soon, I hope.

Mouse x

And, if you'd like to see where we all began, sit with a cup of tea/coffee and have a peek at this - the beginning

And our latest thread that will take you back to many others enjoy your read!

Aww, jane your last post made me quite emotional, thank you for the lovely kind words. I know my friends do care a lot and you're right, I do care about them, that's why I need to stop because I don't want to put them or my family through Hell. It seems at times like they're trying to think too far ahead and put pressure on me, but I know they're only trying to help.

I think I am trying to normalise the drinking, but I know I need to stop now and to face up to things, I'm determined not to put my family and friends through hell. I've always drank when stressed, I think being at uni and all the stress of 3rd year has intensified it and I need to learn not to turn to drink when I'm upset/stressed/whatever. Thank you so much for your nice words, I don't feel very remarkable or grown up, I feel a bit silly for getting myself in this mess in the first place. Thank you everyone though, for everything. I don't know if I'd have gotten through the last week if I didn't have you ladies behind me, understanding all I was going through.

baby - you are a wonderful, honest, lovely babe. Sending you love xx

Baby, I second Venus, you are an amazing person.

Sweet, are you ok? Big hug to you.

Elba, Claret, Made, don't be so hard on yourselves, some days are easier than others but you are strong, brilliant babes and you can do this!

Night night babes, first AF day of Lent ticked off here, feels like a big mountain to climb but ODAAT.

Day 1 of Lent done for me too.

made your friends won't understand that this a journey and that there will be many slips along the way. They think that if you just use willpower you can resist cravings and they want this for you because they care about you and they know that it's what you want for yourself.

But it's not that simple. It is a process which involves changing the way you think and learning whole new ways to cope with all your emotions. You will be evolving and that takes time. You will make mistakes and you will learn from them and your behaviour will shift and change until it finally settles into something that you are happy with.

Tell them that you are not ready to call yourself an addict yet. Tell them that one day you might but for now you are more comfortable just saying that you may have a problem with alcohol and you are trying to address it with their support but also with professional help. You want to see where it leads you and ask them to try not to judge you whilst you go through this process.

Hi to new babes and a shout out to 'oldies'. Any recommendations for books? I just finished The Ice Twins which I quite liked and am now reading A Man Called Ove. Am loving finding the time to read.

baby lol at big 80s hair and teary at your brilliant words. Agree that made has amazing insight at such a young age. I was a completely selfish drinker and drugger at 21 and only really started to examine it 15 years later. margie well done for getting back on the wagon. oDAAT indeed.

sweet sorry you are feeling low

ma fox claret elba venus love and strength to you all and all babes on the bus in the sidecar or just lurking. There is safety in numbers and just posting can get you through the next hour, day , week of not drinking. Thanks for all the support I've had since the first Sunday morning I posted hungover and full of self loathing at the horrid aggressive drunken mess I was the night before and unable to get up and be with my family. I am not out of the woods but I reckon I have had more AF nights since that post than in the whole of my adult life ( minus two pregnancies) . This bus really does work a bit of magic.

And of course faire , lovely lady ...

Wondering if hope is out there? And anne ?

made your very welcome and I mean every word.

I used to think, before I started drinking heavily that people who drank to excess were selfish and thoughtless, people who put their needs before their families. Now I think the entire opposite is true, we are life's sensitive souls, the thinkers, we worry too much and we often can't process the harsh realities of life. My experience of this bus and the mental health team that help many others like me is that drink and drug problems often follow life's good guys, sensitive souls, the deep thinkers that care too much about what other people think. We care so much about WHAT that we drink we posted our souls on cyberspace hoping for a connection such was our pain. Sometimes we need to look at WHY we drink, it's not even fun, we're terrified of what we're doing and I suspect most of us are lonely, even in a house full of people.

I'm glad we have each other!!!

I love this bitching bus!!!

Can I join again please?
Half a bottle of wine twice a week plus a bottle and a half at weekends. So 2 bottles a week - I know not excessive, not that much over recommendation - but I know it's creeping up and it's not good. Trying for a dry day tomorrow and only one bottle over the weekend. I'm depressed and anxious and on meds and I know the alcohol provides short term relief but makes it worse long term..

Sorry 2 and a half bottles a week I think

Welcome cat come back on board settle in and you will get some support from us all. Doesn't matter how much you drink just that you have a desire for some thinking space to address the impact alcohol is having and try out some strategies for getting some control. Anxiety is a thing for lots of babes on the bus and certainly has been for me over the years although I've not had meds long term just the occasional beta blocker run for panic attacks . Anyway you are most welcome have a

baby your post earlier had me close to tears, and meant so much more than 'words on a screen' , thank you. I think your amazing, brave and honest and I hope you are suitably proud of yourself for how far you have come.

made your friends sound lovely and clearly care a lot about you. I think friendships can be very intense at uni though, and would echo what faire has said. It's just a thought, and I'm probably the last person to give advice on this, but how about giving up alcohol for lent? I just wonder if it might take the pressure off you by removing the permanency of quitting altogether, whilst giving you the time to explore your drinking habits and formulate a longer term plan. Might be helpful in social situations possibly too, as in if you tell people your doing lent then it might spur you on to stick to it?

I'm trying not to kick myself too much for last night, but I'm also scared that I've already lost the willpower and momentum after only a week and things will just go back to how they were. I always have good intentions but am not so good at seeing them through.

I'm drinking again tonight, on my own in secret in my friends spare room. I want to say I'll stop at x number of drinks but I don't know how to make myself. I have a headache and I'm tired after a busy day, so I could be enjoying an early night but something in me stops me from going to bed. Like baby just said this isn't fun, and it scares the crap out of me and yes even though I'm staying with my best friend I'm so lonely.

On the plus side I have had a nice day, wasn't hungover and have done lots of nice things with less of the usual detachment/trying to hide the fact I'm hungover feelings that I usually have when Im here. I also resisted raiding the massive quantities of spirits last night that are kept downstairs.

claret well done for not finishing the bottle last night, hope you felt less rough as the day went on and allowed yourself some nourishing non alcohol calories.

thanks again to everyone (I don't dare try and name check in case I miss one of you lovely people off!) for being so kind and supportive

Morning All. And thank you for asking after me last night - I fell asleep after a couple of stupid glasses of wine. I had just been wound so tightly all day. My smart grown up brain knows it didn't help, but my petulant toddler brain just needed to switch off and could only think of one way to do it.

But today I am determined to make this one day I don't drink.

Morning,
2 days down, I still feel like something the dog threw up but having done the af thing before I expect I'll feel a lot better in a few days, for now I'm just thinking about lent as it's more manageable, plus it's drinking at home that is my down fall so I think eventually a couple of gins on a night out might be doable.....I seem to be able to leave spirits after two or three, it's the bloody wine that is the problem.
Hope you are all ok this morning!

Welcome cat wine certainly crept up on me so well done for addressing it now. This bus is really great for help and support.

gow wine is a bitch!! I'm fine with absolutely any other drink but bloody wine.

elba how you doing lovely?

I'm on the lent bus with renewed vigour. Dry January has made me feel so great I really don't want to slip back into bad habits - lent gives being alcohol free a 'label' that helps me focus.

I have a few events in the 6 weeks that I'll have to consider on a case by case basis but my main aim right now is stopping the mindless habit of drinking myself into a stupor every evening.

Beautiful day here today, hope lots of you lovely ladies get out to enjoy the sunshine.

sweet big hug, I have a very powerful toddler brain too - it has tantrums and everything. Hope you feel ok today

And pop having read back over previous threads I totally agree - this bus does have a bit of magic. Let's hope it continues working it's healing spells on all of us

Thanks claret! Hope at last.....I've thought for sometime that it is wine that is my problem I love g & t but wouldn't dream of drinking it every day let alone get hammered on it! So maybe there is hope that I'm capable of drinking socially yet..... But for now lent! It's so much better than admitting my evening wine habit scares the hell out of me!

Claret, how awful is it that I read 'case-by-case basis' and thought you meant cases of wine

Feeling better today - sunny frost walk with SweetDog. Good sessions with students, and people sword fighting under my office window.

Gow, what is it with wine? Do you think it's about the emptying of a battle - I couldn't contemplate finishing a bottle of spirits - seriously, I have bottles with just one good measure in, but I won't be the one to put it in the recycling , but a wine bottle open is a wine bottle empty.

I think it could be the finishing the bottle, or maybe that it is so normal...
I know I stop eating when I'm drinking wine as I'm just not hungry, yet a couple of gins and I'm starving.... I think maybe it is too easy to keep pouring...

Hope everyone's ok today, gow how are you? I'm still feeling determined to fulfil my promise to myself, and feel a lot more positive. Had an 'interesting' day today - I'm a student ambassador so help run activity days at the uni for year 9 kids. I had 5 boys in my group who were ok, a bit cheeky and laddish but not nasty with it, just needed to be pulled up on certain things ('Boys', 'walk faster', 'get a move on' and 'shh' were words I used a lot today!) Also perfected the 'teacher voice', found I'm actually quite good at controlling 13/14 year olds! At one point though I did shout 'PUT THAT GIRL DOWN!' to the amusement of the portor when one of my group was giving his girlfriend a piggyback. I found girls worse than boys though, I joined with another group later on and was left with one girl and my 5 boys for 10 minutes, god the girl was worse than the boys, kept answering me back, at least the boys generally listened when I shouted! All in all a good day, and my boss said at the end he was impressed how I dealt with a challenging group (they weren't that bad really) and that he'll be giving them to me more often because I'm one of the more experienced which is nice . Get to do it all again tomorrow with a different lot of kids, just hope this lot is as ok as today's.

IT sounds like a good day Made, I'm ok but then again it is only day 3, IME it takes at least a week to start sleeping better and feeling good in the mornings, I'm going through vats of tea though. I was quite pleased when claret said it was wine that was her downfall as well it gives me a bit of hope that others have the same problem.

faire, a few of my fave's:

The art of racing in the rain
A thousand splendid suns
Night circus
Secret river
The storyteller

Sorry there's no authors, hastily compiled it earlier while being climbed on by my dd.

sweet that is not too far from the truth when I get going

gow I think a lot of us struggle with wine in particular, our culture glamourises it, laughs off the negatives and endlessly fools us into thinking it's the lady like thing to drink. Puking into someone else's bath at 2am is not glamourous, whatever way you look at it hence why I've ended up here.

Tonight has been tough, I had convinced myself I was going to have drink, deserved one, needed one, etc and the only thing that stopped me was reading this thread.

You are all amazing, thanks for being there.

Hi Babes, old and new! ( Pop thank you for remembering me). I'm still here, reading every day & doing ok. So far this year I've drank 3 bottles of wine and 2 glasses of Amaretto ( on Tuesday night to get it out of the way before Lent )
This time last year I had drank ( or is it drunk?) approx 36 bottles of wine. I'm now into Dry Lent and hoping to do the distance without any slip ups.
Baby your earlier post about drinkers being more sensitive and worriers definitely rings true for me. I get so little " me" time that wine was my preferred hobby - my relaxer, comforter, sleeping pill etc - except it wasn't any of those things in the end.
Love to all and Gerald the magic bus.