The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Battling The Wicked Wine Witch, One Day At A Time!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm mouse, one of the Babes who have been on this lovely, rickety bus called Gerald for some time now!

There's no judgy pants worn on this bus, nor hoking of bosoms!! It's filled with every day life, love and laundry. As simple as that. The rest falls in between.

We're a welcoming, supporting thread, filled with a mine of information from many years of experience, from those who have consumed alcohol day in, day out...hidden the 'habit', the lie, disguised our drinking with many an excuse. So perfected over the years or new to the guilt of drinking more than you think you should.....

Anyway, old or new, lurker or not, come and say hello to us if you feel the need. We'd love to meet you if we haven't already :)

Thank you for reading this, find a seat, hide green opal fruits if you find any, they're like gold dust around here! Aren't they ma!!

See you soon, I hope.

Mouse x

And, if you'd like to see where we all began, sit with a cup of tea/coffee and have a peek at this - the beginning

And our latest thread that will take you back to many others enjoy your read!

Hello, I am new and never posted on here before and apologise in advance for the long post. I was after a bit of advice. I've been drinking almost daily for the last 15 years (I somehow managed abstinence during my pregnancies). I drink anything from a bottle of wine (sometimes more) to a few strong beers each night.

I've tried to stop. I've done the tired of thinking about drinking 100 day challenge but relapsed after 3 weeks. I also ended up asking a GP for help but he referred me to the local alcohol service - the person who runs it is an old school friend whose children go to school with mine. I was so ashamed that I cancelled the appointment with them. The GP also wanted to get social services involved which left me hugely traumatised. After seeing my children's school reports and meeting with another GP at the practice he agreed that this wasn't required. This experience has put me off asking for help from my usual GP.

I turn 40 this year and the desire to sort my life out is stronger than ever. I don't want to blame my DH for my drinking but the start of my drinking coincides with the start of our relationship. He is not a bad person or a heavy drinker, he is just extremely laid back and seems unable to express any form of emotion, bordering on emotionally unavailable. The other year I discovered he was addicted to Internet porn and was contacting women in sex chat rooms and had been at it for years. There were so many lies from him and although he swears he hasn't cheated on me I guess I will never know the truth. It really had an impact on my mental health and I have been on and off sertraline ever since.

I want to stop the drink, regain my mental health and return back to work (I stopped work 4 years ago after DC2 and have managed to isolate myself socially). I also want to make a decision about my relationship, whether to stay together or to separate and the impact this will have on my DC's.

I was thinking of maybe going to my new GP and asking for Antabuse or something similar as will power just doesn't seem enough for me, esp since I live next to a shop that sells booze. I have tried and failed so many times to give up. I need to start somewhere to break this cycle of drinking, depression and anxiety. There are times when I feel suicidal because I seem stuck in this spiral and my DC's are the only thing keeping me going. What are your experiences of asking your GP for help?

So sorry for the long post.

Hello pup and welcome you're in the right place. I'm so sorry for all if your current problems and with seemingly no support. You'll find it here my darling.
You'll find loads of people who have, and are in a very dark place who are getting through and and coming out the other side. There is loads of advice and some incredible stories. Im fairly new too and just reading other people's posts has kept me going so please stay around.

Could you go further a field for some help, do you live in a tiny place?

Naltrexone is another drug which is much safer than antabuse but deals with the cravings. You need to emotionally/psychologically want to stop as it doesn't stop you picking up a drink but it may help you manage to cut down/stop. Although I have never used it. Maybe others on here have.

As far as your DH is concerned you need to try and get yourself well and clear headed and then you could probably decide on what to do about that situation.

Do you have any family who can help or could you go to an AA meeting further away so you won't know anyone.

Keep posting and loads of love being sent your way.

Thank you mouse for new thread and waves to all you other babes who've kept me entertained over Easter. special good to see you are OK and every 24 hours away from the big A is a step closer to being well. Just keep getting up if you fall down.

Huge bosies ( didn't know what they were either ) to you all

Also pup if you're feeling suicidal you need professional help. The samaritans can give you places to help but when you go to your GP make sure he or she knows your thoughts, it might fast track you to counselling. Your problems are not just alcohol related you're self medicating. (As most of us are when we drink )

Take care honey and stay on the bus x

And whilst I'm here ma so sorry about your daughter. Life is precious makes you wonder what the f* we're all doing.
And pop new house, new habit. Getting away from old triggers is a great way to start new (healthy) ones.

pup go back to page 39 for link to new thread

NEW THREAD HERE

Hello pup, welcome.

I'm turning 40 this year too, it has a way of focusing the mind, doesn't it?

No time for a proper post/NC - I'm hiding in the toilets at work so can't be long! But I wanted to thank elba, what you posted about drinking/eating being a form of self harm really rang true for me. I've never thought of it like that before.

See y'all soon - probably on the shiny new thread. Thanks mouse

Hi sorry for the long absence but I have been reading and lurking. My D M has been diagnosed with ovarian cancer. We have always had a very difficult relationship as she definitely displays narcissistic behaviour.
She is now relying on me for support and I have a lot of emotions swirling around which I am struggling with.
Sorry I can't be of much help atm but I will pop back xx

Thanks faire wasn't sure how to copy link

Sorry to hear that sober. Have you got anyone supporting you?

off message but can anyone do photoshop. I am up to no good and need to superimpose a head on a ballerina body...
I may get shot but it will be worth it for the wind up.
I don't know how to do it......

April thanks yes I am lucky to have good friends and DH
DM has asked me to accompany her on hospital appointments which I will do but can't help thiniking of all the times she failed me.
Need to just get on with it and howl when I am alone 😰

sober so sorry. I can imagine that's brining up lots of difficult emotions. Are you able to express how you feel with your friends/DH in order to help process things?

april it's something that I've only just realised too. When I'm feeling good in myself I still self medicate to some extent but I have a lot more motivation to control it. When I'm not doing well I think I use the eating (or lack of) and drinking to both numb and punish myself at the same time.

pop hope everything goes as smoothly as possible for the move! I can imagine your pretty stressed right now (is it tomorrow?) but hope that soon you will be comfortable settled in your new home.

I had both my second counselling session and a colposcopy today so feeling pretty drained and sorry for myself tonight (justifiably for once I think!). But on the plus side my cervix apparently looks 'happy' according the the very lovely (but slightly odd!) doctor. On a night tomorrow so moderating (ish) tonight then a lazy day planned.

Pup my dear, hello, that is your first brave, big step, right there. Hop aboard!

I came to this thread after standing beside the bus stop, at the edge of the pavement. The despair and pain was all consuming, I was an inch away from disappearing under the wheels of a lorry. I scared myself so badly that day, the feelings of worthlessness were all consuming and I didn't know which way to turn. I came home and drank sour wine straight from the bottle.

And found here. I got some sage advice, but above all I found people who cared and supported me through one of the worst days of my life. Anti-depressants helped but not as much as the bus. Just having the lovely folk on here got me through. I could tell folk about my day, good or bad, and know I would not be judged.

I've had a fair few relapses, but had a fair few successes in there too. Tiny goals are the way forward, and don't berate yourself for taking a backward step. You are still on your feet and that means you are halfway there.

I echo wish here, please go and see your GP, mine was amazing and has continued to be so.

I am sure, as ever, there are wiser heads on here, but I think you need to be in a better space before you make any major life decisions. My GP advised me that I needed to make me better first, without that I wouldn't be able to cope with any other changes. One baby step at a time, don't push yourself too hard and don't forget Gerald the Bus always has a spare seat.

It sounds as if your DH has flattened your mojo by being so emotionally unavailable, but you will soar again, you will. You just need to find you again, and by finding here, you are on your way.

Please keep posting m'dear, and I am offering a massive bosie your way, you are sair in need of it.

Love, Wry xx

Thanks Wishtobefree for your kind words and advice . I'm going to go to my GP after the Easter Hols when the kids are back at school. I will def ask about Naltrexone.

It's reassuring to read so many familiar experiences. I was working towards coming off the sertraline but after the last few weeks have decided to increase the dose again. I need that wrapped in cotton wool feeling!

sober I am sorry to hear about your mum, stay strong and know that you are there for her. It is hard when you didn't get the same support, that must cause all sorts of conflicting feelings. Talk it out when you can, it will help. Never underestimate the power of a good howl, it will help heal you. xx

ma aaaah now, you know I am shit at all things techy so I will be of no use whatsoever.

I am intrigued though....whose heid? Whose body?

How is your DD today? Is someone/the lovely boyfriend fussing over her?

And sorry pup didn't say welcome to you, but welcome!

My GP doesn't know the full extent of things but I have hinted, and I think to some extent she has guessed. I kind of wish I had the confidence to just break down and admit everything but I'm scared from a professional point of view in case she deemed me unwell enough to involve my work's occupational health or similar. In my head it could escalate to question on my fitness to practice, even though logically that's more likely to happen if I'm not honest. I don't have children but I can imagine the threat (or perceived threat) of social services involvement must create that same fear about asking for help. It's crap really; the GMC is there for a reason and the guidelines are very valid but I think for a lot of people it does create a barrier to asking for help. However regarding social services referral/ safeguarding please be reassured that if anything asking for help, showing motivation to get well and complying with treatment would only ever be seen as a positive sign by both doctors and social services (if there was a referral it would only be to see if they could support you in any way). Doctors spend a lot of time trying to care for people who are not totally honest about their lifestyle and would be much better placed to help if we were all just honest (I'm being a total hypocrite here!), so I hope you feel able to ask your GP for help.

I have also tried to taper of medication recently and gone back up again. I was hoping to come off it but am kind of realising that the drinking has to be my priority at the moment. I hope you feel able to keep posting here. I have found it so useful to have a safe place to be honest and put my thoughts into words, and have had so much support from some lovely people!

Moving tomorrow. Sitting here surrounded by boxes

DP and DDs In Dublin with granny all falling out with their cousin and was told all about how miserable DD1 is by my unhelpful MIL!! What can I do? I'm managing the move here! D brother coming to hand hold. Can't believe it's the last night in my lovely nine years home. DD 2 was almost born in that kitchen but for getting stuck at last moment. Had ger ten mins after arriving At hospital s d came straight home. Slept 3 hours last night feel insane. Hold my hand love my babes and holding on to all you babes struggling with life or just photoshop ( I'm a tech moron too). Love you all. See you on the other side.

Hand hold! How are you doing? Are you going to Dublin?

Another hand hold here, you have been a busy bee! I'd sing you to sleep pop but nobody likes bleeding ears.

Best wishes for tomorrow, hope it all goes smoothly for you, try to get some rest lovey, xx

See you all on THE NEW THREAD

pop new thread, new house - it's a good omen x

Click on THIS LINK to continue to the next thread.

Wait, how did the old thread make it onto active convos?