The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Battling The Wicked Wine Witch, One Day At A Time!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm mouse, one of the Babes who have been on this lovely, rickety bus called Gerald for some time now!

There's no judgy pants worn on this bus, nor hoking of bosoms!! It's filled with every day life, love and laundry. As simple as that. The rest falls in between.

We're a welcoming, supporting thread, filled with a mine of information from many years of experience, from those who have consumed alcohol day in, day out...hidden the 'habit', the lie, disguised our drinking with many an excuse. So perfected over the years or new to the guilt of drinking more than you think you should.....

Anyway, old or new, lurker or not, come and say hello to us if you feel the need. We'd love to meet you if we haven't already :)

Thank you for reading this, find a seat, hide green opal fruits if you find any, they're like gold dust around here! Aren't they ma!!

See you soon, I hope.

Mouse x

And, if you'd like to see where we all began, sit with a cup of tea/coffee and have a peek at this - the beginning

And our latest thread that will take you back to many others enjoy your read!

I would agree with ma about not having alcohol in the house. There is no need for it if you plan not to drink. The only reason we buy it under those circumstances is the bastard wine witch in our ear.

When I started cutting back I absolutely could not have it in the house. Even having it in the shop down the road was quite tricky. But that doesn't last forever. There are five or six bottles left over from Christmas in my garage and I know I won't drink them because I don't want to.

That would have been unthinkable a few of years ago.

I used to actually be terrified that I would have to drink for the rest of my life because I couldn't stay away from it.

i hate alcohol so much in the morning and love it at night - this was me too.

Every day I would wake up feeling horrible and swear that I wouldn't drink that day. Then by four o'clock I was stopping off at the shop to buy more. I would even go to different shops so that my local 'only' saw me buy wine two or three times a week.

Then it got to the point where I would buy two bottles in case one wasn't enough. The fear of running out of wine was worse than the fear of being hooked on it.

I honestly could not see a way out but I am so, so grateful now to have broken that cycle. I am no longer afraid of life without booze. I don't have to hide bottles or make secret trips to the bottle bank so that my shameful empties weren't on show in the recycling box. I don't waste money or time on alcohol. I'm not scared any more, that is all behind me now. One day at a time

Amazingly I don't feel too crap today despite downing 2 bottles of wine, sharing another with a friend and having vodka. Despite all that I was the most sober of my friends last night, shows how much my tolerance has raised. I've got a bit of a headache but that's the only ill effect. I was up all night being sick though and I hate that feeling. I feel a bit rubbish - it's clear I can't control myself when I drink and I feel so weak for giving in and buying wine. The longest I've lasted sober is 4 days which isn't much at all. I'm back on the wagon now. I'm looking after my friends today - it was a foam and paint party last night and one of my mates has hurt her knee and can't walk on it, the other is very ill with a hangover bless her. I'm going to Tesco with one who hurt her knee (she wants potato wedges, I want squash and possibly ice cream. I'm going to buy chocolate for other hungover friend.

Anyway, firmly back on the wagon for me .It is difficult on nights out though

Still on board and reading all your posts x

Hi everyone, thanks for the shiny new thread Mouse.

I've had a 3-day reunion with booze and what I wanted to say has already been said by Pop: Babes , it's just not worth it

I've been reminded that booze doesn't make me feel better, it makes me feel sick, paranoid, panicky and miserable. It also means I don't sleep properly, I feel bloated, I put on weight and I spend way more money than I can afford. It also gives me acne, means I'm horrible to my kids and my DH and ruins my weekend.

I admire all of you who can set yourself limits and stick to them, but the only limit that is going to work for me is not drinking at all.

So happy to be back on the bus, waves to Baby, Elba, Made, Pop, Claret, Faire, Sweet, Tink, Fox, Venus, Mouse, South, Ma, Indie, Joey and all babes fighting the good fight.

Hey Margie. Good to see you back.
I have been moderating recently but I think that's been due mainly to the antibiotics I've been on whxih make me feel sick.
I still try and drink even though I'm not enjoying it. Stupid.

Grr..just lost a message..also lost the will to stay awake and retype it.

The gist of it was - hello Margie: and Made, I'm glad you're not feeling too awful today. One thing I have remembered after 37 days AF is that there is a big difference between 'not feeling too bad' and 'feeling astonishingly, bafflingly, zingily well' in the morning. I had forgotten that distinction, for most of the back end of last year. Am definitely not preaching, Made as I do totally get where you're at - you've done so well to do four days AF, they are the hardest days to get under your belt, and in a university environment it must be triply difficult. See if you can put a bit of a longer stretch in and you'll start getting the real benefits of not drinking. Don't think beyond a day at a time, but see if maybe you can string those days into a week. Errr...am very old and staid but dare I ask what a foam and paint party is? I can think of a lot of very wrong interpretations of that theme.

Well, I've fallen off my (detox) wagon and succumbed to a becks blue. My body is awash with beetroot juice, chia and hemp seeds, and is so grateful to me for reintroducing something it recognises.

Basically fox, people on the stage fire foam at the audience from cannons, and paint at the audience from cannons! It was great fun , got knee deep in foam and covered in foam and paint (last nights clothes are now in bin), didn't fall over though which is a massive achievement for me! Showering while drunk not fun though, and I left my hair to dry naturally overnight so it's sticking up everywhere Bed soon I think, then up early tomorrow and showering before a course in the afternoon, then a meningitis jab in evening

Party sounds fun made. My only experience of a foam party (minus the paint!) was on holiday abroad with friends about 15 years ago. I started off the night trying to do that dance thing where you show off how low down you can squat and dance, slipped under about two foot of foam, inhaled said foam and then had a massive panic attack. When I'd been sorted out my friend then finished the night by walking off the stage where the canons were as by then there was well over a meter of foam and you couldn't see the edge. He broke both ankles! Funnily enough I've not had any temptation to repeat the experience

According to drink tracker I have had 80.3 units this week, but that includes a binge Monday night before I first posted on Tuesday. The week before was over 100 so I guess this an improvement, although still a huge amount.

I'm so tempted to reward myself tomorrow night though by crying out of my meeting Tuesday morning (which would be ok to do work wise but not ideal) so I can drink freely. I'm sort of worried that the novelty or momentum of cutting down and sorting myself out is running out and I could end up back where I started. So I'm going to focus on what lots of you have said and take one day at a time. I'm also going to make myself continue post here every day even if I screw up, and put my units into my app honestly.

Still feeling low but could well be hormone related, however also wondering how many feelings I've numbed with drinking and slightly scared of them emerging. Work was pretty shit today, 12 hour shift became 13 hours with next to no break and a scary drive home thanks to this storm. Tomorrow is likely to be the same.

ma I also drink when I really don't feel well enough for it, and drank my way through a weeks sick leave last year due to a chest infection. Stupid thing is I remember the first drink always tasted horrible on the antibiotics so why did I start?! Hope your are staring to feel better.

Hope you're feeling better ma and I hope you're ok elba

I'm ok this morning, I slept relatively well last night and have a busy day ahead of me today so plenty to keep me occupied.

Afternoon Babes.

Made it to the end of Jan but have been drinking every day in Feb so far . I haven't enjoyed it, I have no idea why I even started, but I need to jump back aboard.

Hello sweet really nice to see you. Welcome back aboard. Why do you think you started drinking - was it post dry-Jan relief or what? Lovely to see you anyway. You know the drill, pull up a pew and settle in.

I'm still here reading but havent been posting.

Am not AF but trying to have more days off and limit the amount on days on. To be honest it seems easier to have a day off rather than limit, or even count units.

I do find that if I dont drink I find it really hard to sleep. I know that's normal and will sort itself out in time, but also the next day I get really constipated, is that normal???

faire your description of how you broke your relationship with alcohol is so interesting, you sound exactly like I am/was - swearing off it every am only to be back at the shop by 4 to get more wine. The shame at what the cashiers at my local shops thought of me a daily gripe. It's inspiring that you've managed to break away from all that.

margie, made, tink hope you are all ok and keeping on keeping on.

small hope you are feeling good from your detox!! A few friends have done whole30 recently, sounds similar to what you've done and they are singing its praises.

sweet I have struggled loads since dj ended, who knows why but you are not alone. I even bought wine today but by some miraculous will power it remains unopened in the fridge and the craving has passed for today at least.

elba it sounds like you work so so hard; you must be exhausted. Perhaps try and find some time to do something nice just for you; a massage, a manicure? it can make all the difference

work hi! I don't know about the constipation but I'm sure someone wiser will be along soon.

I feel a bit odd today, no cravings which is fabulous but I'm kind of getting sick of my friends talking about it now. They mean well I suppose, and aren't doing it to be mean, but keep talking about the future - eg, possibly going to A.A meetings, not drinking ever again - and it's doing my head in. I don't feel my problem's that serious, yes I was bad for a bit but I'm ok now.

I just want to get on with my life and try and forget about the alcohol stuff because I don't want to be thinking about it and my problem constantly, I just want to get back to normal, and I think I may have scared myself a bit and convinced myself the problem was bigger than it was, I don't think it was/is actually that serious. One of them keeps telling me I need to admit I'm an addict and have a serious problem, but I don't feel like I do.

According to my friends I'm in denial but again, I don't feel like I am. I just want to get on with things and not talk about it because what will talking do? Plus I'm dreading my counselling appointment soon - I really don't see what talking will do. I realised things were getting bad so stopped/cut down and now I just want to pull myself together and get on, I don't want to be made to feel like a flipping victim because I'm not one, this is my problem and I'm getting better, I just don't want to be reminded of it constantly. I don't want mollycoddling or special treatment, I just want to get on with stuff. I want to get on with my life and not be told I'm an addict, or an alcoholic or whatever, because I still have some modicum of control, I won't self pity, I just need to get on with things and don't want to keep talking about things. And another thing, I hate that bloody label 'alcoholic' and wish a friend would stop using it (aware how much of a child I sound, going off on one about people who have been nice)

faire and claret I totally relate to what you have both said about the shame of buying alcohol. I have different shops that I rotate as I feel so embarrassed that I get recognised by the staff.

claret thank you. My hours are quite sporadic so I can do a lot in a short space of time then have a good rest period, for example I now have three days off. I do work long shifts though which I then reward myself for with alcohol so I'm not really rested as I drink through my time off.

Im drinking tonight but still currently under my 10 unit goal. If I stay that way is will be a full week but I'm not sure I will (or can). That would mean about 30 units less than last week.

I'm really scared that the novelty of trying to face this has already worn off and I just have no will power. I've been up since half five and had five hours sleep last night. My eyes are really sore as I'm so tired...anyone else would give in and go to bed surely but I want to fight it so I can drink.

Morning All

Mouse thank you for our lovely fresh thread hope all ok lovely x

Welcome to Made & Elba. Made it seems that having any wine in the fridge is going to be too much of a temptation. Just don't buy any & put the money in a safe place to spend on a treat for 'yourself' Elba you are doing really well, can you set a unit less each week? look at the decrease already, you're doing really well

there my lovely Sweet that should sort you out my lovely nothing like a slimy squid hitting the back of your neck as a reminder not to drink and how shit it really is! Come on my lovely, pick yourself up, dust yourself down, one day at a time, remember how good it feels

Fox you really know how to set yourself a challenge, detoxing & no booze very brave my dear I felt for your body but I bet it felt amazing? Hang in there my lovely, I know you can do this

Claret you sound so clear about it all. If you get a chance go back over your first few posts you have come so far. Well done lovely, keep going

Margie darling, you know that you are unable to do moderation (you're like me, an all or nothing kind of girl, with no 'off' button) As you have said, you are a nicer, kinder, happier person without the booze. Put the money that you would have spent aside and treat yourself, think of something that you've always wanted or wanted to do and when you get there moneywise just do it for you! Read back and look at the progress you've made, you are amazing and much stronger than you think x

Hope where are you? hope all ok darling x

Ma hope you're feeling better

Nuff wise words as always, thank you x

Baby little squeeze for you darling x

Beaches my little tulip how are you darling? come and say hello xxx ps I can always get Barrie out and slap you too, if you think you need it???? Take care lovely x

Work hi lovely sounds like you're getting your personal balance right, which is great, keep on keeping on x

Had a little scive from work yesterday so I'm feeling all Mondayish this morning, all self inflicted. Spent the day in Brighton with my DD1 yesterday, such a lovely day, I bought her clothes and she bought me lunch. Tis so nice when a teenager is being lovely
Half term for us next week, I've got the week off, can't wait. I find time restrictions really hard, get to school on time, get to work, etc etc

Anyhooooo have a good day one and all. Get your big girls pants on, shoulders back, tits out and smile, don't let the bastards get you down x

spanna thank you I'll have a read back tonight.

elba 30 units down on last week is fantastic, well done. spannas suggestion of a unit down per week is good, and you can do it - you've shown that this week.

Off for a long day at work today. Luckily my dd let me sleep last night otherwise I'd be in bits! Happy Tuesday babes.

Morning All

Small, Spanna I just got pathetic about the effort - work is tough at the moment - well, bits are brilliant, good students, some nice events coming up - but there are other bits that I am struggling with. I have a meeting with boss and his boss this afternoon - but I don't know what it's about and have been too afraid to ask, even though I know it is completely unprofessional to be invited to a meeting blind like this.

I'm just not very good at being nice to myself .

Well done, Claret, that takes some doing, I take my hat off too you and your will power

Made, I completely get the 'wanting to get on with life' feeling, and not wanting to be defined by one aspect of your life. I hope that you find talking to a counsellor more helpful - the distance that they have from your life makes it a very different sort of conversation.

Have a good Tuesday everyone.

Morning all. I have a huge challenge on today. Wish me luck. Day 2 of not drinking after DJ.

sweet gorgeous to have you back.

spanna that brilliant last sentence could not have come at a better time. Thank you.

Be brave babes! I was a twat last night whilst sober. Eurghhh.

Sweet good luck today - you'll be fine I'm sure it's nothing major. Keep going babe you're much kinder to yourself than you think. Hugs xxxx

Pop at least it's better to be a sober twat than a pissed twat. Good luck today babe x

Claret so glad little one let you sleep. Hope today is not too bad x

South hello lovely, how's it going?

Best be off am v late xxxx

made I think if you find a counsellor that you can talk to, someone who you feel "get's you" it can make a vast difference. I have seen mine only a few times so far but already have the strength not to drink even if there is wine in the house (not an open bottle, that is a different matter!). It is important to be totally open and honest though, i do find that hard as am normally quite a private person.

Sweet...just to say good luck today...let us know how you go.

Another good luck to you sweet it's probably nothing we usually build these things up in our heads.

Waiting for my hellish day to kick in. It's started with my train being cancelled so getting on the next one will be like a rugby scrum. Bloody London transport. Grrrr.

Hi all, anyone home?