The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Battling The Wicked Wine Witch, One Day At A Time!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm mouse, one of the Babes who have been on this lovely, rickety bus called Gerald for some time now!

There's no judgy pants worn on this bus, nor hoking of bosoms!! It's filled with every day life, love and laundry. As simple as that. The rest falls in between.

We're a welcoming, supporting thread, filled with a mine of information from many years of experience, from those who have consumed alcohol day in, day out...hidden the 'habit', the lie, disguised our drinking with many an excuse. So perfected over the years or new to the guilt of drinking more than you think you should.....

Anyway, old or new, lurker or not, come and say hello to us if you feel the need. We'd love to meet you if we haven't already :)

Thank you for reading this, find a seat, hide green opal fruits if you find any, they're like gold dust around here! Aren't they ma!!

See you soon, I hope.

Mouse x

And, if you'd like to see where we all began, sit with a cup of tea/coffee and have a peek at this - the beginning

And our latest thread that will take you back to many others enjoy your read!

Thanks made am really sore now...think early bed and hit water bottle. Have had a glass of wine which I shouldn't with all this medication.
Where are all the missing Babes? indie? mouse? wry?

ma it's great being a woman of a certain age is it not hope you do lots of self care
made you sound soooo much better well done have some to keep your spirits up

I've exhausted all opportunities for a lift so now it's a train versus driving myself. Failed at moderating tonight because I'm a day off tomorrow and I decided this is like my Friday night even though Friday night is a night out... Never mind, new day tomorrow

Morning Babes.

Ma do you have a follow-up appointment?

Bicycle, sober nights out are not as awful as maybe you are thinking - after a couple of drinks, nobody will notice what you are drinking, and you can sit back and watch how daft drunk people are, being grateful you're not one of them.

Made, actions not words - keep it up.

Not a great night's sleep for me, but I have to recognise that even AF, that'll happen sometimes. Best get ready for work, I have a meeting with my lovely mentor this morning, then a lecture and a couple of seminars before I get down to some more marking - thank goodness for a clear head!

Be the best Babe you can be everyone.

I'm home! On ativan, still having some wds, but greatly reduced after medical detox. Released to outpatients.
I'm determined to do this and be sober

Well done special you've done brilliantly and sound determined.

Couldn't get GP appointment this morning so made a bit of a tit of myself by bursting into tears on the poor receptionist, who was lovely and got GP to phone me. So meds gone back up and have an appointment on Monday. Sobbed at poor GP too, but actually feel a bit better for letting someone know in real life that I'm struggling. Hoping appetite may go back up with meds increase too (not something I ever thought I would say!!) as it's just taken me about 30 mins to force down some toast and am noticeably loosing weight at the moment.

Drinking is a bit less moderate than I was managing, but not as bad as before. Left work late (as usual) and in a stroppy mood (for a good reason) so of course in my head that justified an extra beer as day off today. Very rarely get angry but was fuming and drinking felt like the only way to calm me down. Need to learn to manage emotions in a different way I guess, rather than use them as an excuse to drink more.

Going to try and have a bit of a power nap I think as not much sleep last night then may head to the beach for a little walk which I have been meaning to do for days.

Anyway hope everyone's having a good day and thanks again for all being lovely!

Hey all
Sorry I haven't been on here for a little while.
I will have a look through the thread.
I haven't had a drink for 2 days. Off out with friends tonight though for a few drinks. I have told myself to have 2 maximum and then switch to soft ones. I have to be up early tomorrow anyway.

Well done special. Ma how are you today? I was thinking maybe you have to drink loads of juice and water to flush out your bits, or did the hospital give you proper advice?
Saved a ghekko from being frozen in the fridge, and got my son out of the bathroom he trapped himself in twenty minutes ago. Quite the hero, (in my head) despite barely moving from my chair. Inching towards sobriety.

Well done special and good luck

elba, I know very well about drinking because of emotions so good luck to you. You sound so determined to succeed that I'm sure you will.

have a nice evening winter and enjoy yourself. Might I suggest something? Make your first drink a soft one, then have the alcoholic one, then another soft, another alcoholic and then switch to soft for the rest of the night. It'll break the drinks up which might help you stick to your two drink rule, because it won't be quite so tempting to get a 3rd.

I've submitted my assignment, put make up on, straightened my hair (so I look like me again) and got up early. I've messaged a friend I've not spoken to in months, I missed lecture today to finish editing but will copy up. My friends and I are still very cool, they've refused to give me their notes because 'I should have gone in.' Seems spiteful to me, but I'm not going to let it cause an issue. Instead of arguing, I simply said 'Ok no worries ', walked away and messaged someone else. I'm so proud of myself for walking away instead of snapping.

I started writing a diary last night, and it felt good. I have counselling at half 10 again tomorrow and I'll see how it goes. I got a bit of a kick yesterday, was walking thru town and I saw this man in I'd say his 50's, huddled in a shop doorway, looked homeless (don't mean to be offensive but he really did look bad), he was drinking vodka, the bottle hidden in a brown paper bag, it scared me that that is what I could turn out like if I don't get my act together. I'm still rather emotional and want to cry, but I'm putting a brave face on and getting on with my life.

made good idea, thanks.

Sounds good your submitted your essay.

Hi all, just checking in and haven't read everything so apologies. Hope that everyone is having a good week and is beating the witch. I've not had a drink for some weeks now - I try not to think in days or numbers although I do have a "day one (again!)" somewhere on my calendar if I really want to check.
I have a court case on Monday that I'm not looking forward to but, more than that, I had a seizure in a local supermarket (Morrison's, wouldn't you know it - I could have least have aimed for Waitrose) last Friday and quite literally lost about half an hour of my life. Being a control freak, that disturbs me more than anything else. Carted off in an ambulance (I really want to ask for the CCTV!!!) - all blood tests normal, CT scan fine, I was there until 2am and then came home. Blood pressure has always been low but aside from that, in theory this should be my healthiest time, compared with some "other" times.
Anyway not to moan, apart from a headache and a few bruises I am OK - oh, except that I can't drive for a year and have to see a neurologist.

To all - keep on keeping on ..... xx

winter great advice from made but can I add to that....

Limiting yourself to two drinks is great, but the problem I found was that once I'd had a drink, I became unable to do the 'limiting' that I thought I could do when I was sober. (I think a famous writer wrote "there is a line in the sand, but once I've had a drink I cannot see the line anymore (or even the sand))

So my approach to a 'controlled' night out is:

1).... (as more suggested) non-alcoholic drink. Know what you ant before you arrive, have an alternative, have an excuse ready.... something like this: "Oh I've been son busy today, I'm so thirsty and desperate for a glass of lime and soda. Oh, you don't have that, never mind, orange and lemonade will do fine."

2)... OH that was so refreshing, I think I will have the same again.

3)...

... well you might find that you're hydrated and you order a wine and you sip it slowly. Or you might find that your friends are a bit drunk and being little stupid and you'd rather have a coffee and go home. Or someone is really drunk and you are glad that you are the only sober person in the building who can take them home / to A&E..

4. You wake up the next morning feeling OK.

Honestly, compare this with a post I wrote earlier this week to elba about the other side of controlled drinking.

I am no paragon of virtue, I am no angel. But when it comes to inner thoughts and strategies for drinking, I sure as hell know what I'm talking about, after all I've had 40 years of experience.

Rapid detox is hell, they get you out of the woods, and you still get the dts!
I've ativan, but I'm not well.
Rehab, would be better, there is no quick fix for alcoholism.
I'm not drinking, I'm committed, and outpatient care/ AA is filling the gaps. But if any of you can help it, rapid detox does not seem to be the way to go!

Morning All.

Made it to Friday again . I got up to a present from puss, she left me an eviscerated mouse, just the head, front legs, back legs and spine. I have had stern words, Mouse

I had a good day at work yesterday - an interesting offer from a colleague to potentially move departments; it may or may not happen, but it was lovely to feel valued, and boss is making my life extremely difficult at the moment. But, being AF I am more rational and calmer about everything.

Special, good to have you back. It was always going to be tough, but you have a real impetus now, you don't want to have to do it again! Accept all of the help that is offered, and be kind to yourself.

Lobster, poor you. I hope the bruises heal quickly.

Make the most of the counselling, Made.

Winter, what Venus said!

Smallfox, Pop, missing you babes .

Fiday is a toughone if it's the end of the working week, the temptation to kick back, help yourself to a little relaxer. But, Babes, it's an illusion, don't give the Wine Witch your weekend - it's your time, enjoy it.

sweet hi am here lurking. Thanks for name check. Am having a hellish time as our move approaches. House fell through , another one under offer to us, bugger all choice as school catchment is so small. None of us want to go. Also feel the embarrassment of it being an utterly middle class problem! And despite mangling 2 or 3 AF days in the week and drinking weekends and have hangover now as DPs birthday last night.

But babes you are all amazing the bus abides and I'm craving some sobriety.

special you are so brave I wish you all the Strength in the world and elba you sound like you are breaking through.

Big wave to all babes specially lovely sweet.

Pop, after our move 18 months ago, DH and I swore, NEVER again, and that was a fairly straightforward exchange, so I really feel for you. Give yourself the gift of a sober weekend

Morning all - sweet, that sounds brilliant and as you say, may or may not happen but the warm glow of being appreciated cannot be dismissed and will last for a while. I relate so exactly to your comment about being more rational and calmer when AF ..... I can closely resemble a screaming fishwife (apologies to any rational fishwives) after a few drinks.

And special, having had (I think) similar experiences to you in terms of rapid withdrawal (hallucinations, shutting ghosts in bathrooms, everything electrical talking to me, seizures) I relate to all that too. Diazepam is what they give you in the UK and, although they prefer it to be supervised, I have done this at home myself several times over the last few years. I think I've always thought "if I relapse, at least I have that option". However, I was recently introduced to the concept of "kindling" which seems to be a study from the US and describes the damage that you can do by detoxing time after time. It was enough to alarm me - my brain capacity reducing has always been my biggest fear. I'm hoping that this might be enough to deter me (as if I really needed further reasons, aside from the myriad of others).

Hope that you are ok, ma, if you check in.

And wishing everyone else a happy end to the week.

I feel like a bloody failure.
Ended up having a few too many last night. Woke up this morning with a pounding head with the postman banging on the door. I missed all my alarms (thankfully don't have to work today!!)
I know I shouldn't have gone out, when there's an environment with alcohol I know I'd let myself down.
Just sat here now feeling like rubbish.
Sorry guys.

Hi Winter - do not beat yourself up for therein lies the path to a greater relapse (apologies but I'm unsure as to whether you're a moderation or AF babe). Put it behind you. Today is the first day of your continued recovery - just carry on with it and think of last night as a blip in the grand scheme of things.

Please don't feel like rubbish - just get on with today and if you can take anything from the experience, remember how you feel this morning. Take care x

Thanks Lobster

I am trying to cut down the amount I drink. I think if I went total cold turkey I'd end up drinking even more.
Thankfully I went home last night before I showed signs of being too drunk. But when I got home I opened up a couple beers and carried on. I had been doing pretty well up till then anyway.
It's a blip I keep telling myself. I'm going to have a nice breakfast then have a relaxing Friday. No alcohol bought for the weekend either so I'm going to plan a few other things - read a book, watch a movie, go out for a walk.
A friend of mine is calling me tonight which is nice, she said she'll keep me company (I find Friday and Saturday nights the worst for craving a glass of wine or something!)

winter, I'll second lobster's advice and ask you to please not beat yourself up over last night. We all have them, but look after yourself, that's the main thing.

Counselling today went really well and positive, am going back next week.

Been lurking over the past few days, managed some AF days early in the week then it all went to pot on Wednesday - have drank every night since then. My biggest issue at the moment is I can't bring myself to eat when I drink and am consciously choosing wine over an evening meal. Which does nothing for my mood or health. And results in me waking up about 5.30am absolutely starving.

Off on holiday on Sunday so whilst I most likely will drink everyday I will also eat more (as dh will ensure that) so that might be a good thing.

Sorry to not name check but I've been reading all your posts and want to give a huge hug to those who need it, some to anyone struggling and a gold to those beating that truely bloody horrible witch.

So for now I'm in the sidecar but will return with vigour when I'm back from holiday.

Hey guys. Sorry, haven't read back, so an apologetic wave to all and a hug for those who, like me, are struggling a bit. Was doing so well....now, not so well. All or nothing - so predictable. Off to lick my wounds for a bit, but will be back. Happy weekend to you all.

Thanks made

I despise the anxiety I get the day after drinking way too much. I literally sit around and think about all the crap I've done in my life, feel like a failure etc. Does anyone else do this? My emotions always seem to run high too.

I've had quite a normal day. Slept for a couple hours, now making myself a light late lunch. Going to tidy the house a little then it's a night in with the soaps and a hot chocolate. Tomorrow I'll feel better.

Winter, I think the anxiety, paranoia, remorse and guilt (I have all these and more) are a classic part of the whole cycle and, to be honest, I've had relapses in the past which have dragged on for longer than they really should have done as I was delaying the inevitable ghastly couple of days that follow the withdrawal and sobering up process. The feelings of failure. I relate strongly to how you feel but also know that beating yourself up isn't helpful or an answer. On the other hand, you sound as if you are doing extremely well for the day after a blip - yes, I've sat around crying about absolutely everything. You sound very productive indeed, so congratulate yourself for all the positive steps you've taken today.