The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Battling The Wicked Wine Witch, One Day At A Time!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm mouse, one of the Babes who have been on this lovely, rickety bus called Gerald for some time now!

There's no judgy pants worn on this bus, nor hoking of bosoms!! It's filled with every day life, love and laundry. As simple as that. The rest falls in between.

We're a welcoming, supporting thread, filled with a mine of information from many years of experience, from those who have consumed alcohol day in, day out...hidden the 'habit', the lie, disguised our drinking with many an excuse. So perfected over the years or new to the guilt of drinking more than you think you should.....

Anyway, old or new, lurker or not, come and say hello to us if you feel the need. We'd love to meet you if we haven't already :)

Thank you for reading this, find a seat, hide green opal fruits if you find any, they're like gold dust around here! Aren't they ma!!

See you soon, I hope.

Mouse x

And, if you'd like to see where we all began, sit with a cup of tea/coffee and have a peek at this - the beginning

And our latest thread that will take you back to many others enjoy your read!

A friend sent me this (which is a bit old) about

I'm not sure all the people involved were drunk but the scenes are all ones in which I could have been placed. Especially the 3rd scene with the lady necking wine from the bottle (almost).

Evening all. Just dropping in briefly as on nights at the moment. Still drinking but in moderation (for me...still lots for most people). If I can stick to two beers and 250ml of wine on a school night, and no more than half a bottle if I'm off the next day then that's an achievement for me. Night shifts would mean abstinence for most, but I just have my drinks when I get in in the morning which somehow feels worse than usual Still terrified about the idea of not drinking anything though.

A big trigger for binging I've realised is when I'm finishing nights, so have to work out a plan for Monday that doesn't involve spending all morning and all evening drinking (quite often into the early hours).

[Margie] thinking of you today. Be kind to yourself and just do whatever you need to get through it.

[bicycle] it's quite shocking seeing the units and calories isn't it! But it's also nice when you see them going down. I was on over 100 when I started, which I sort of knew but ignored, so seeing it on the screen was an eye opener!

[claret] Iceland sounds amazing, hope you have a fab time!

[made] big hugs, it's a really stressful time for everyone and I found friendships at uni could get really intense.

Sorry not to mention everyone, I've gotta run and get ready. Hope everyone's weekend is going well.

venus your posts are just so perfect. Your wisdom and serenity just shine through and I want to be just like you when I grow up. You really are an amazing, calming presence on our bus.

hope I'm so so glad you've come back to us. In spite of your crazy hectic schedule I think you sound great. If your moving 2 steps forward and one step back you've still made one forward and that my lovely is a result. Please stay with us, we missed ya xxx

claret quite recently I called a friend and his wife told me he had gone to Iceland. I asked if he could call me later in the afternoon. After a confusing few moments of conversation I realised he was away to the country not the shop!!! Yes I'm blonde xxx

Loving the warm affection and camaraderie on our bus, your are all fabulous and don't y'all forget it xxx

margie huge hug my lovely. There are no words but be kind to yourself today, I can't imagine your pain

baby i keep on having to say 'Iceland the country, not the shop' when I tell people!

I also wanted to add that I am SO SO pleased I found this bus. It has helped immeasurably in me taking account of my drinking, I've been far from perfect since the New Year (when I joined the bus) but I would have been much MUCH worse without knowing you ladies were sitting here quietly cheering me on. To know this bus is here and that I can be honest with you and that you 'get' me is just great. Thank you so much babes [smiles]

And venus oh my....if those clips weren't so true it'd be funny

Hi everyone,

Just wanted to second what Claret said really, this bus is amazing and each and every one of you has helped me more than you know. I hope your friends and family in RL appreciate how wonderful you all are - you are very special people and I feel so grateful to have found you. Like Claret, my drinking would be a lot worse than it is if it weren't for all of you.

Baby, Faire, Venus, you are my inspirations, you are so full of wisdom and kindness. Special, hope you are doing ok, I am sending you good vibes, you are showing so much strength and courage. Looking, so good to see you again, I feel exactly like you - two steps forward and one step back - but before Xmas it was only steps back, so I guess like Baby says, it's progress, even if it's slow. Elba, you're doing great, Made, sorry to hear you're struggling, Elephant, good to see you, Ma, good to see you too. [Waves] to everyone I've forgotten to NC.

Venus, loved what you said about my DM, this morning I went and bought new shoes for the DCs on her behalf, there was nothing she liked better than buying things for the kids. She and Boden were best friends for years. Looking, as you said, all anniversaries are hard, it just brings all the unfairness and sadness closer to the surface again.

I've been keeping up with my calendar and marking AF days in green and drinking days in red, so in January and February, assuming I'll probably drink tomorrow and probably won't on Monday then I will have done 11 drinking days and the rest AF. Not ideal, but a lot better than the end of 2015 when I basically drank every day for at least the last 6 months of the year. If I was mindful about by drinking then I wouldn't have drunk on at least half of those 11 days - I didn't even want it - but it's a habit, it's triggered by the fact it's Friday or the fact I'm stressed or the fact that the sun is shining. And I can honestly say that on not one of those 11 days was I happy to be drinking and on not one of those 11 days did I feel anything apart from disappointment and self-loathing the next day.

Margie I have tears in my eyes (and my heart) at the thought of you / your dm buying shoes for your kids. That is wonderful. How much better to celebrate Mother's Day next week with a loving act like that, than to feel sad and lonely and lost xx

Hi everyone, I am new to this and so I am still trying to work out who and where folks are sitting on the bus. But thanks to you all. I am not out of the woods yet. I am trying very hard to not drink during the week, I am moderating it at weekends. The hand to mouth thing -eg a glass can be done through glasses of water or some really expensive type lemonade drink (still less expensive than wine). I am also going to try the 'designer teas'. I am ok if I can get through the 6.00 to 9.00 temptation zone. If anyone has more tips please let me know.

Have some sweets to suck elephant, it gives you a shot of sugar and doesn't go well with wine. Eat dinner as early as you can. Change your habits between 6 and 9 (can you get out for a walk , sort cupboards, take up water colour painting) do anything that will absorb and distract you.

It's fun trying all the new drinks. I had lemon and licorice tea yesterday.

Big wave to venus

Ma your personal squaddie sounds vair, vair distracting

Hi elephant welcome!

Avoid being HALT - hungry, angry, lonely, tired - all common triggers. Hungry is my particular one - forcing myself to eat early/have a snack to avoid getting hungry is key in how severe my craving is. Sweets are also a great tip - and serve as a nice treat too!

Distraction works for me too, cooking in the kitchen away from my normal 'wine place' (in front of the tv) works wonders. Other than that just riding it out and knowing that the craving will pass, it will not get worse.

And don't worry about where people are on the bus - I'm still learning but you pick up bits over time and I've learnt so much from these lovely ladies. My current position is moderating with no drinking on a school night...easier said than done but I just gotta keep on keeping on!

Hi all. Drank last night. Am trying not to drink today. Busy week next week and feel a bit sick at the amount I have to do, as have been away a lot recently and day to day tasks have slipped.... Also trying to put off doing my books. I do hate paperwork...... Feeling fat and lazy and have to go out for a meal tonight which I don't fancy. Gloomy Sunday as the Associates once sang. (post wine blues probably not helping)

Hello every one of you lovely lovely Brave Babes

Hope so good to see you my lovely. Right, have you got any fizzy Vit C tablet thingys? get half a glass of water and dilute 2 of them into that (lemon flavour quite nice or you may prefer the orange one) Have a lovely long bath with a face pack on your face. Get on some comfortable clothes and make your housework list. What really really needs to be done? what can you really not face to look at today? Choose 3 things and start with the one that you least want to do. Have a tea break in the middle of each.
Can you wait until you're on a train to do your books? or take 15 mins each day next week to sort through your receipts, tickets, invoices etc and just work your way through it. It is important to keep on top of your books otherwise it will become a mountain and not a small hill. You sound really fired up which is so so good to hear Sorry I know that you know all of what I've just said but I find it much easier when someone just tells me straight Some of the best evenings I've had are the ones that I really don't want to go to, you'll probably have a really good time xxx

Margie darling I have no words that will comfort you much but your shoe buying with the DC was just 'perfect' I lost my Dad approx 8 years ago (he was only 65) the pain, loss, emptiness etc will never go away but we can live our lives through them. I know it sounds completely mad but I am convinced that my Dad sits beside me on my shoulder and I speak to him all the time (nuts I know) but this is a great comfort to me. Having your DC is also a huge comfort, as you can keep your mum alive through their lives (IYSWIM) Sending you love and hugs darling, my arms are wrapped around you xxx

Sorry gigantic post will be back later xxx

Elba you are doing so so well read back to your first few posts on here and you will see the difference in you!!! You are cutting back which is so so good. Slowly slowly catchy wormy, as my DDs say One day at a time and you are so much more conscious of what is 'going in' which is a huge bonus. I hope work is not too stressful. Hugs x

Made some really good advice from some of the wise babes. I will add to keep your head high, shoulders back, tits out and hoick your big girls knickers up Don't let the bastards get you down. Get yourself absorbed into the next group assignment & your teeth into your dissertation (it is after all the most important document of all) You will get there, one step at a time and remember to Breathe. Keep going babe you are a diamond just keep going one day at a time

Claret so of your family trip to Iceland, it's in my top 3 destinations to visit as soon as I can afford it. Let us know all when you get back (when are you off there?) it just sounds so amazing and I so want to see the northern lights before my time is up. £10 for a glass of wine I think I'd stick to the beer too You are doing so well on the AF at the moment just keep going honey x

Baby wise wise words as always. Gawd when I look back at our early posts and the ups and downs that we've had, it is truly awesome where we are today

Hope I think it was you who asked? it will be one year on 30th March (which is my 49th birthday) and YES lets have a bus party, I think we may have to have an 80s theme, what do you think?

Sweet I luff you too x Naughty puppy, your story made me smile. My dog used to have zero recall at all. Much better these days until Friday morning, low tide and some bloke on the rocks, so off she goes to have a look at him, quite a way from me, anyhoo she got to him and just stood there barking her head off and didn't stop. So embarrassing She clearly didn't like the bloke and was jolly well letting him know it!!!!!

Ma hugs to you lovely lady x

Nuff love to you x

Venus you are so wise, as always. DD had her first cahms appointment (which went well from bits that have come out over past few weeks) she has 2nd one tomorrow than one more and they'll then refer her to counciller (sp) that they recommend so hopefully we're getting there. She is still communicating with me and we have good chats which is a relief

Have a lovely Sunday everyone xxx

Right Spanna, 30th March is in the diary, 80's theme is a plan and ra-ra skirts and crimped hair compulsory. Hope this doesn't frighten off Made who didn't live through the 80s and might find the thought of a load of middle aged women dancing to Adam and the Ants rather alarming (can someone lend her a Frankie Says Relax t-shirt and some blue mascara?) Ladies, post your favourite 80s tracks in advance of Spanna's Anniversary Extravaganza. I'll start of with this one cos we finding this bus (cheesy, right? #Sorrynotsorry)

80's music - it's got to be Dexy's and Come On Eileen... a vest and dungarees... [swoon]

And Men Down Under ... hmm, now why does that make me think of ma ??

Sweet dreams are made of this?

Cheeky Venus

Haha, I quite like 80s music (perils of living with mum who loves it). My faves are heaven is a place on earth by Belinda Carlisle and Girls wanna have fun by Cyndi Lauper. Pulls on frankie says relax tee shirt and a rara skirt.

Thank you ladies, you're so lovely. Me and my friends have had a bit of a chat, and things seem to be better. We managed to chat and not shout at each other for a start, which is always good. We're nowhere near perfect but good enough I hope.

Now for the bad news. I went shopping this morning and bought 4 bottles of prosecco while in a bad mood. I've drank 2 of them tonight. Part of me feels euphoric and loves the feeling I get, the other part of me is bloody ashamed of myself that I've relapsed, another part of me wants to open the 3rd bottle of the evening but I'm going to keep it until tomorrow so I can feel nice again (aware of how pathetic I sound).

I feel terrible, like I have nothing at all. I've gained all the weight I lost with SW last year, I'm behaving like a terrible friend, I feel constantly sad and want to cry all the time. I just want to drink myself in complete oblivion but I know I can't do that as need to be up early working on dissertation. Where's that smart, determined, really alive person I was last year, I'm like a shadow of myself. Everything seems to be tumbling down around me and I feel like crying constantly. I can't believe what I've become, I'm acting so bloody pathetic. I'm sorry that this post is so self pitying but I just feel so terrible.

It sounds daft, but on here is the only place I can truly be myself. In real life I need to appear strong, capable, hard working and able to cope with whatever life throws at me. Any bad mood/bad attitude/self pitying isnt allowed.

Thank you everyone for the kind words, I don't feel very brave, compassionate or even a very nice person atm. May be the drink talking though, and sorry to keep cluttering up this thread

Morning All.

Made, you have to put those last two bottles out of reach, your dissertation is the priority now. Am I right in thinking you only have 2000 words left to do? OK, the physical act of typing that much isn't that long, but you need clarity. I'm putting on my academic gown and telling you what I tell my students. The Dissertation is the culmination of three years, the important work has been put in over the last nine months, not in the last four days, BUT, we want it Thursday, NOT perfect. Which is the biggest waste - a few percent because the last 2000 words weren't as polished as they might have been? Or a 40 (non-honours pass) because it was late. Believe me, once you have your MA, no-one will look at your degree classification, and certainly won't ask about individual elements. I say this as someone, who, through circumstances at the time, gave up the First I had set my heart on in the last term - I still got the post grad place, I still got the job I wanted (as much stress as it causes!). You have my permission to worry on Friday, but only for 10 minutes; right now, write a time table - 200 words at a time. This is a VERY tough time for final year students, find yourself a tutor you trust and talk to them; talk to them about the group issues - we are used to mediating in these things, it is more usual than not. When you have time over the Summer, have a look at Tom Cantopher's Depressive Illness: The curse of the strong.

Right sorry about the essay first thing! Spent the weekend in the garden and that felt good! I have so much energy, and I've been able to see jobs through to the end. I've also lost the bloated drinkers chin - just the double chubby one left! I'm contemplating buying a garden shredder with what I'm saving.

Spanna at your dog. How dare that man be on her beach! I'm back combing my fringe and putting on lacy fingerless glove in anticipation of the party!

Everyone else, Small, Ma, Pop, Mouse, Faire, Venus, Isinde, Margie, Hope, Baby, Claret, Elephant, Winchester, Special, Bicycle and the much missed Wry and Khalisi and anyone else I've missed, you are all very special and lovely Babes, be kind to yourselves.

Morning made I have twin daughters who are your age . One is studying and the other working. When they were small I used to think when they got to around 20 that my life would get easier but it hasn't been the case . They have both struggled with difficulties regarding work / study and I have come to realise just how tricky this period can be. I have been so happy though when they were able to talk to me about their struggles and willing to allow me to help.........although sometimes all I could do was listen. The point I am trying to make is that what you are experiencing is very very common and you shouldn't struggle alone. Could you confide even a little in your mum ? She probably knows that things,aren't great and may be waiting for you to talk to her.
Hope you don't feel too rubbish today and I am sending you a hug[smile

Thanks sweet and soberisthenewblack. I have a bit of a hangover (dry mouth and fuzzy head) but cracking on with my essay today regardless. I have left - a section on support, conclusion, referencing, abstract, contents page and editing page so I'm not far off.

Good morning lovely ladies,

Ahhhh the 80's!!!! My friends and I went to the same pub every Friday night, I remember the man on the door had to open both of the swing doors when I approached to fit my hair through. I was convinced the bigger my hair, the thinner my body would look, those were the days xx

made wine is a depressant and a bloater so much of how your feeling is just the horrid wine witch talking. As I said in my earlier post that wondrous wine charged feeling is sooo addictive, feels so good I know but I worry if you can do your huge talent and all your hard work justice on a 2 bottle next day come down.

The pressure you are under us excruciating but we are here for you whenever you need us xxx

So babes, had a busy weekend, took my wee one to soft play on Friday after school, Sat was beautifully sunny so went to the beach with dd2 and my Mum, (we're Scottish so first sign of sunshine we're out in it) it was freezing but give a child and a bucket and spade, Happy days!!! Yesterday took both my girls and their 2 friends swimming, 5 females in a car is an interesting combination let me tell you!!!

6 months ago I was lying in my own puke, sweat and misery, I was so unkempt my mum had to cut matted clumps out of my long hair, it seems like another lifetime.

I'm still living life in a kinda bubble, I avoid nights out, keep putting off holidays, only see certain friends and am still a bit withdrawn from life through fear of relapse. Infact withdrawn sounds too negative, just a bit too careful, a bit too safe.

I hope one day I can embrace a full and rich life sober but for now I'm enjoying just being Mum, making new memories to push the bad ones further away and the rest I'll deal with later.

On a practical note I have also fallen behind with the gym and my diet, I feel that getting slim and strong will complete the jigsaw for me, o feel better but want to look better, I want my sobriety and healthy mind to be celebrated with a healthy, strong body. I am lucky to belong to a lovely gym with a pool, sauna etc but find all the lovely healthy foods on SW upset my Crohn's and I end up on the loo in bloody agony.

I need a kick up my super
sized arse so please oblige!!!!

You all continue to inspire and amaze me every single day xxx