The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Battling The Wicked Wine Witch, One Day At A Time!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm mouse, one of the Babes who have been on this lovely, rickety bus called Gerald for some time now!

There's no judgy pants worn on this bus, nor hoking of bosoms!! It's filled with every day life, love and laundry. As simple as that. The rest falls in between.

We're a welcoming, supporting thread, filled with a mine of information from many years of experience, from those who have consumed alcohol day in, day out...hidden the 'habit', the lie, disguised our drinking with many an excuse. So perfected over the years or new to the guilt of drinking more than you think you should.....

Anyway, old or new, lurker or not, come and say hello to us if you feel the need. We'd love to meet you if we haven't already :)

Thank you for reading this, find a seat, hide green opal fruits if you find any, they're like gold dust around here! Aren't they ma!!

See you soon, I hope.

Mouse x

And, if you'd like to see where we all began, sit with a cup of tea/coffee and have a peek at this - the beginning

And our latest thread that will take you back to many others enjoy your read!

It's crazy how much anxiety drinking causes really isn't it claret. I'm also sure that just as I managed one night the next time could be different. I can see how not drinking at all would stop all this worry, but then I just can't imagine ot having any alcohol at all. I like it too much! (Hate it right now though...still got hangover from hell!)

It's ridiculous isn't it - why do I love something so much that causes me so much pain??

It's so very powerful. I was reading another thread on here about how much people drink and it was interesting how little the people who posted drank. So so far from my drinking habits it was a bit of an eye opener!

I think me and alcohol have a love/hate relationship claret. Objectively I could produce a huge list of reasons not to drink. The actual (or potential) effects on me psychologically, physiologically, professionally, socially etc are huge and I know this, but I keep going. I have seen and treated people with a range of alcohol related illnesses, it's not pretty or dignified and I'm terrified of my family witnessing the same things with me, yet I still keep drinking. Like you say it is so very very powerful.

I have screwed up a bit tonight. I set a goal for next week to drop units right down, and am working Monday so cant drink much tomorrow. Failed to take today into account though, and have drunk through my hangover well and truly into 'fuck it' territory. Think i need to start thinking one day at a time, as one 'blip' seems to give me an excuse to carry on. Still clinging to the fact that I've had less than I would of a few weeks ago, and making myself write it down here means I'm not ignoring it, but annoyed at myself nonetheless.

Hope everyone's having a good weekend, and hugs to anyone struggling.

Hey! I thought I'd retreat to the safety of the babes thread. I can't go into detox until ma is back from Italy next month, or dh can care for the kids.

I'm functioning, everything has got done, the house is clean, people fed, school under control, disability applied for for dh, hospital bills under control. It's just me suffering.

I can't get it under a pint of Bacardi a day. Which is better than my usual 5th.

According to my poor confused dh, I'm disgusting. He said sorry. He's just scared and the stroke made him weird. I'm so hurt right now

State detox is possible, it will be rapid, ugly but safe. I have no primary health provider.

nobody my brother underwent detox nearly 3 years ago. His story is on the thread if you trawl back to this time around 2013. He got all the drugs he needed on the NHS and was taken in by the Salvation Army whre he lived for the next two years before getting his own flat, job, and life back. It can be done. He will be 3 years clean in May.

I'm in the USA, no health insurance. My husband is critical in hospital, mau not survive. They booze stays

Am I welcome if I'm drunk, I've cut down but had bad day, so to say bad

Of course you are welcome if you are drunk. That's why we are here. Are you safe at the moment?

special keep posting. Keep talking xx

I'm safe. Kids with friends, having a sleepover and a movie. Church came over, organized things for the kids with me.

I'm in bed drinking.

I didn't realize he might not make the month. I wish I hadn't insisted on knowing.

He wants to come home as soon as he's stable. He said sorry for snapping. He wanted to. Free me from caring for him. I lo e him

I can't detox, I can't stop now, ill ha e a breakdown

Don't try and detox now. Now is not the right time. How much have you had in the last 24 hours? Have you eaten?

Most of a 5th of Bacardi.. I had toast earlier. Thank you for being kibd

I'm not sure what a 5th is bit guessing a lot OK. Can you manage some more toast and to intersperse the alcohol with glasses of water? When you next get up for the bathroom, grab something edible- cookies, toast, banana - and a big bottle of water and take it back to bed with you. Stay in bed where you are safe but try and slow down with the booze, even just mouthful by mouthful, and take on board some water.
I'm going to have to run shortly but will be back and the rest of the babes will be around. Keep posting even if it seems no-one is here. There will be people reading who can help.

A normal sized bottle of Bacardi 151. My usual.

Ill do that, grab food and back to bed. I don't need to get the kids till the afternoon tomorrow. I'm so lonely

Good. I had visions of a fifth being 5 gallons or something! Loneliness is a big trigger for a lot of the babes on here. Keep breathing.

Hi special sounds really unspeakably tough for you right now. I'm so sorry you are having to face all this alone. Your kids will be back tomorrow and will need you. Try to sleep a bit. Is there anyone , family , friends who can drop in ?

No one I can tell that I'm a drunk, and I need to drink. I'm meant to be going to church, well, I was meant to have gone. The pastors wife is bringing the kids back at 12. Then ill go see dh with them.

I'm ok alone. It's better this way. I wanted to be sober, but it's too painful right how.

Can understand why you are drinking special. As ma wisely said you mustn't stop without medical support its probably not safe. I'm not a churchgoer myself but is there a chance that church might be sympathetic and help if you picked the right person to confide in ? They know what a terrible pressure you are under with DH? What time is it over there anyway?

Will your mum support you when she is back from Italy? Can she come back early given your situation with DH?

12.12 pm. Ma won't return early, she chose to go the day after his bleed. I don't know about support, probably not.

The church is small town USA. They will judge and socially ostracize my family for my drinking. I've already been told God won't heal dh because my faith is too weak. I love Jesus, the church not so much

I'm sorry. I don't mean to undermine your faith but that doesn't sound very Christian. What about aa? You don't have to be sober to go. I know you said it was in church hall tho. Are there other places?

I don't believe it is Christian at all, but that isn't God's fault.. that's what dh would say.

It's the only AA group. I can't take giving up yet.

Hey Nobodyspecial (and all others) - I haven't been on here for ages. I was on the bus a few journeys ago .....

I'm so, so sorry to hear your story and situation that I felt compelled to come out of lurker-dom. How are you getting to see your DH today? Will you be OK to get there?

My ride fell thru. I can't go today, but we are talking on the phone. Tomorrow. He wants to come home today really, bless him.

We're hoping he can recover at home soon, if these are his last days, they should be here with us.

If you're in bed drinking, maybe it's a good thing that you can't go .... kind of divine intervention? I do not mean to be critical at all of your religion, but it doesn't sound very Christian-like. You didn't choose to have all these issues in your life. From what you listed above, you have done amazingly well to have functioned the way you have - no wonder you feel wrung out.

Have you managed to eat something?

Totally understand regarding last days at home - my brother in law spent his last days unable to move or speak but he was in his own home being cared for.