The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Battling The Wicked Wine Witch, One Day At A Time!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm mouse, one of the Babes who have been on this lovely, rickety bus called Gerald for some time now!

There's no judgy pants worn on this bus, nor hoking of bosoms!! It's filled with every day life, love and laundry. As simple as that. The rest falls in between.

We're a welcoming, supporting thread, filled with a mine of information from many years of experience, from those who have consumed alcohol day in, day out...hidden the 'habit', the lie, disguised our drinking with many an excuse. So perfected over the years or new to the guilt of drinking more than you think you should.....

Anyway, old or new, lurker or not, come and say hello to us if you feel the need. We'd love to meet you if we haven't already :)

Thank you for reading this, find a seat, hide green opal fruits if you find any, they're like gold dust around here! Aren't they ma!!

See you soon, I hope.

Mouse x

And, if you'd like to see where we all began, sit with a cup of tea/coffee and have a peek at this - the beginning

And our latest thread that will take you back to many others enjoy your read!

I've no health care.I'm in the US, and have financial problems and lapsed insurance.

Dh in hospital, my friends would no longer be my friends if they knew I was a drunk. AA is in the church hall, no way I can go without outing myself.

I called detox, the first thing they asked was how I was going to pay.

Hi all, checking in. Hope everyone is ok - it sounds like some of you are having a really tough time. ma sorry to hear about your job, that must be so hard.

I'm very much in the sidecar at the moment, have drunk most nights this week but no more than 2 glasses at a time which I guess is something. Just really wanted to cut out the 'in front of the tv' drinking but hey ho, I just gotta keep on trying! Out tomorrow, big deal for me and with my friends who flick my 'fuck it' switch so got to drink mindfully. I'll be so pleased if I wake up on Saturday with no regrets.

Anyway, thinking of you all, be strong babes

Just checking in too. All ok here. Day 48. Blimey. Bit bored, and consequently watchful - that's when complacency can kick in, as I know from bitter experience. Diverting myself with catching up on the Archers and mainlining detox tea; am the life and soul of things these days.

Baby as every your post is so, so true. Thank you. "..carefully structured to keep my sobriety safe". Bang on, lovely - and as ever, huge kudos to you for your clarity, your kindness and your bravery.

Nobody and Elephant are you both ok - can you let us know a little more about how you are - what can we do to help? Nobody - that US system is such a nightmare, you poor poor thing (and I'm so scared the UK system is going exactly the same way alarmingly quickly, thanks to Mr Hunt) - we're no substitute for proper medical support but we can do chatting and hand holding and kindness and mad giggling round the edges?

Ma - how are you - any news today?

Sweet - and you, babe - haven't seen you for a bit. Thinking of you. Mouse - you too, love. I don't know the detail of what you're going through but am thinking of you.

nobody you need a supervised medical detox. Do NOT try and go cold turkey with this level of dependency. It took a medical detox and residential care to get my brother clean and sober. His story is back on the older threads. Please seek medical help.

The Board met today. I will be paid until the end of March and then,barring a miracle, the company will cease trading and be declared bankrupt so no redundancy other than statutory

Oh ma

ma so sorry

nobody hope your ok. I don't know much about the US healthcare system, but have you got access to any kind of primary care doctor/ GP?

margie glad work is better than the other day, and well done for not drinking.

claret I definately have a 'fuck it' switch too, may have to borrow that phrase! I'm also desperately hoping to wake up Saturday with no regrets, may try and escape to log what I've drunk on here a couple of times tomorrow night as adding up units etc seems to help me. I'm so scared about what I could end up saying/ doing if I'm not careful (many many excruciatingly embarrassing incidences in the past that I try to block out!). Determined it will be different tomorrow night.

I'm just finished two days at work. Did 14 hours yesterday, left at 10pm and got back in at 7 this morning to attempt an hours paperwork. Got home about half an hour ago. Was providing cover for two different departments today, carrying two bleeps, and making up for staff shortages both above and below my grade. So in 48 hours, I've worked about 28 of them, with probably an hours total break over the two days. It's beyond ridiculous, but i know I'm not the only one; I just have less resilience than I used to.

Still feel a bit like I lead a double life between my outward sensible persona and the drinking that I still try and hide from everybody. I guess the only difference is that not I'm not 'hiding' from myself and am trying to face up to my issues. I keep listening to the track sober linked to a few days ago, the lyrics resonate with me so much.

Big hugs to all you lovely people, and once again thanks for all the support you've given in the last couple of weeks.

Oh no ma

Hi to nobody and elephant, I hope you are doing ok. Keep posting, we're all here to help.

I have my counselling session tomorrow and am nervous as hell. I really don't want to go, I'll give it a go tomorrow but if I don't like it I won't be returning. I don't see what good talking will do. I think I've let myself get a bit out of control and provided I learn to control myself when stressed I should be ok to drink on other occasions. I know they're going to get me to talk about my feelings and stuff, but I don't think I want that. My feelings and emotions are private and I don't want them knowing my business, silly as it is I feel a bit too proud to talk about my feelings etc to someone. It's different talking online somehow. I'm going to go tomorrow anyway but I don't hold out much hope for how well it'll go. I suppose I'll have to see.

made hope the counselling goes well, give it your best shot then you'll know for sure whether it's for you or not.

elba thinking of you today, I hope you have a great time - just keep track and post here if you need to. Play the tape to the end if you feel you might be getting out of control.

Sorry ma

Made hope it goes well, or at least, goes in a way with which you are comfortable. Elba - ditto, and hope you have fun. Ma - I'm so sorry.

Quickly back as forgot to say small day 46?!? Hats off to you!!! Well done

Thanks, Claret - its actually day 49 now so I am tentatively looking forward to my half century tomorrow (assuming I can survive a night out today). Feels cautiously positive. Still think about alcohol far too much, and find restaurants in particular tricky, but for now, like Baby says, am concentrating on guarding and protecting my sobriety.

made I think the idea of counselling is that you don't have to talk about anything unless/until you are comfortable with it. They are professionals, they understand that you cannot just dive in and offload all those painful emotions. You should start gently and tread carefully.

I hope it goes well for you, come and talk to us afterwards, especially if you fee triggered x

ma are you looking around for something else or do you not have the energy at the moment? So sorry (((hugs))) for you sad

I wonder how hope getting on?

Well done Small, I like the idea of guarding and protecting sobriety. It is so very precious yet vulnerable, can be so easily taken away, but the longer you keep it safe, the stronger it grows x

Thanks small and claret

small 49 days is amazing. claret will be thinking of you tonight too. Hope we can all post some positive news tomorrow.

made hope today goes well.

It went ok, but I don't know if it's for me. I'm going to go again and give it another go, but honestly talking about the past isnt really my thing and I don't like discussing my feelings. I just think that the past is the past and there's no use looking back on things because I need to look at the future, not dwell in the past. I'm going to give it another go just to make sure, but I don't think it is for me.

Sometimes unresolved problems from the past stop us from thriving in the future. Especially if, for example, we need to forgive someone (or ourselves) and find that hard to do. It's a process, I'm glad to hear you're going to give it another go

My friend is coming over any minute and I'm not at all ready. Must dash but will be back later x

Hi all.
Am so tired of all this now.To top it all dd1 is having a horrendous time in Spain. Thinks guy she lives with seeing his ex again.she's been on Skype in floods of tears. Got her to pack an overnight bag and go to a friends tonight. So difficult.

ma big hug for you and DD.

ma so sorry to hear that. You really are having a tough time of late.

So last night was ok. I wasn't as restrained as perhaps I'd like but I managed to eat (not normal for me!) and drink a few soft drinks and I remember the vast majority of the evening. Just lying in bed now though paranoid that dh is annoyed with me - if he is he's got no real reason to be, I text him on my way home (midnight) and I'm sure I wasn't awful. Think I can be terribly hard on myself sometimes. Anyway...

Might have a couple of dry weeks now though....feeling sore this morning!

Thank you ladies - not quite sure where I'd be if I didn't have this thread.

elba how'd it go?

Morning all not managing AF but managing to keep it to 2 glasses.
Have been delaying my first drink and it has really made a difference.
ma sorry that you are having such a hard time. It doesn't seem fair but bad things really do seem to come along all at once.
made good for you for at least giving counselling a go and for agreeing to go back I tried it once and although I wasn't sure I got anything out of it some of it has stuck with me. I often find myself repeating words or phrases my therapist said whenever I am "stuck"
Well done claret for moderating it's not easy is it.....in fact sometimes it's an awful lot harder than simply not drinking.
special how are you today ?
Waves to everyone else I missed

Fox 50 Days is awesome Babe Well done darling you've done good Superstar, now for the next 50 Keep going babe, we both know how 'worth it' it is.
Totally get you on the boredom front (I mean how do people do it??) I'm quite addicted to the online jigsaws at the mo, thanks for that reminder Nuff

Ma so sorry to hear about your job and your DD1, sending loads of love & strength xxx

Dashing out to take DD2 to gymnastics, today I have already been to supermarket, walked the dog, you really can fit so much more into this sober life !!!!!

Love to all Babes and have a good Saturday

fox well done 50 days is awesome

Well done claret. Sounds like your night went similar to mine. Definately could of held back on the wine a bit more, especially towards the end of the night, and am not feeling at all good today. BUT I remember everything, didn't do or say anything stupid and had a really fun night with lovely people. Also managed to eat too, which is usually my downfall. I'm back home now and back in my PJs, it won't be a productive day, but it's so so nice not to have those horrible cringey what the hell did I do feelings that used to be inevitable after any big night.

Going to try hard next week to get my intake down more, aiming for less than 60 units so we will see! Started to notice the difference in how I feel in the day so hoping that will spur me on (and today's hangover is a perfect reminder of how I don't want to feel!).

Great news, well done elba!!

What worries me is that yes I was ok last night but one day I will, yet again, go out and not drink mindfully and end up being the drunken idiot again. The only way that'll change is by not drinking. Oh well, one day at a time!