Roll up, roll up, it's dating thread 96

[MyGastIsFlabbered]

We don't have get through these at speed....

The Rules

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin
3. Do no invest emotionally too soon
4. It's all BS until it actually happens
5. Trust your gut instinct
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you
8. If it's not fun- stop
9. Loo update is mandatory

10. No dating the thread 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches, and take from it what you will

I did pine for mr builder ocelot
But life is too short..getting back out there is the only way,I'm 49 in may,lots of messages,but nothing definite yet
What sites are you on?

I'm just on pof now - have been on GSM & OKC in the past but it doesn't seem to make much difference - potentially more 'matches' on GSM but they all want younger women & lie about their age/ use old photos just the same(!)

I also have a job that takes up most of my time so resent sometimes the effort of OLD eg reading a ratio of 30? profiles to find one to write to then they dont reply :(

My inability to 'move on' (hate that phrase) scares me a bit - I don't want to be alone forever but its si hsrd to look at/for other men

I am however going to a match singles night tmrw (straight after a 12 hr day - I'm going to be a wreck!) with a colleague in her 30s . ..hope they don't think I'm her mother chaperoning!

I'm lucky, I'm definitely not pining for H himself, but it made me realise that this process of finding the right person is going to be very challenging. It takes so much time, energy, effort, sifting, writing, hoping, rejections! replies! messaging, meeting, rejections, disappointments.......... That is quite difficult to digest. I want somebody now, I@m so ready now.

Yes Piety :) I want it now too.... & feel like I'm going to be in my dotage before I find someone else as it feels like it took all my life to find him :(

Oh good luck with That ocelot
I'm on okc,and e harmony and match affinity,the latter 2 are and have been a waste of money
I'm going to do a month on match I think
But as you say 314 its a full time job,sifting through,a sense of humour is essential
I'm ready too!!

I'm still pining for Teach even though we only went on 2 dates. I've realised I'm lonely and all the insincere people I date fill that loneliness for a short while. I accept that I'm vulnerable, and unfortunately vulnerable attracts the wrong type. So I'm not going to take anything seriously, have fun until I'm ready to get out there properly.

I'm pining or yearning for that closeness, when you can just text somebody, ring them, have them over and do nothing together , not that I don't like going out and having fun too. MrCanceller and I are exchanging emails but he's taking a really long time to make up his mind about me. we went on one date last year, and now we're emailing. so..... why are we emailing!? he knows what I look like. It's not really getting a sense of each other chat before a date because we've already done that.

You're so right Gast,I'm lonely too,but only emotionally,practically I do well without a man!and I'm sure we are attracting the wrong types,but its also exciting and I'm addicted to the rush

Should I tell MrCanceller I want to meet up? Or should I just enjoy the correspondence? Afterall, there are other people I can meet up with. Scary Phone Interview Man for example. Actually, yes, that's enough to deal with this week. I am going to tell him in a whatsapp message that I'll meet him if he wants but I don't like the 'chat first' idea much.

314 Lately I've had men that will insist on a phone call before meeting,as we could not be genuine,I dont like it either
I have to have 2 glasses of wine first!!

Not genuine, as in... really a hairy trucker?! The ONLY detail I've given that can be corroborated for certain in a phone call is that I am indeed female!

Yeah I was told you could be a man!!!
I'm.with you on it,I quite like hearing their voice for the first time when we meet

Oh god, I thought it was just me with the aversion to talking on the phone! I saw a guy last year who offered a chat before we met up but I declined. I'd much rather meet up. What's to gain from talking on the phone? We'd established that we got on well enough via texting and when we met, we established there was no spark, so job done!

Nothing from TreeSurgeon no, and gallingly on Bristlr, you can see if your message has been read...and mine has. Ah well. Another one who will miss out on the BornToFolk awesomeness.

I was out in London with DS today. Had a Tinder session on the train on the way home and got loads of matches but by the time we'd got home they'd either unmatched me or I had another think and unmatched them.

Waving Sounds like Soho is upping his game a bit? It's good that you are looking forward to it.

314 What do you want from Canceller? Nothing to be lost by asking him if he wants to meet up though. I snorted at putting a Chomp and a dandelion on FB, by the way.

Handy the fact that he is so local is a good enough reason for a first date with MrIT. Where's the harm in just meeting him and seeing what happens?

winter welcome! Really not sure about not getting too emotionally involved! It's hard to avoid, isn't it? Cos you are looking for that emotional connection and you are not going to go on a date with someone unless you think there's at least a chance of that. I guess just keep telling yourself that he's probably dating/talking to other people will keep your feet on the ground!

ocelot Not sure what advice I can give re pining given that I am still hung up on Mr2015 and he called it off in Aug... I do know that I find it easier to forget about him if I've got someone else to focus on though. Or if I am feeling really good about myself.

I miss that closeness too. Having someone to text "good morning/good night" to. I loved having him stay over, waking up to him in my bed, having breakfast together. And just going out, having dinner etc. I love getting dressed up for a date.
However, I don't miss the stress of "is he really into me/going off me?", "why isn't he messaging?", "where is he/who is he seeing?" etc etc. I need to remind myself of all that when I start pining!

Born, here goes, wouldn't have the nerve on fb, maybe next year!?

"I'm so blessed!"

(actually, If my son gave me these, I'd be so touched)

Born I won't push it with MrCanceller for now. I'll try and meet this other guy some time this week. I have something on on Wednesday and it doesn't start til 8. I could meet him for an hour beforehand. I'd prefer that to a coffee. I'll text him later and suggest it and if he doesn't go for that then so be it, I won't lose sleep. I have seen his face a bit closer up in his whatsapp foto and I'm not sure I am attracted to it. He is easy to chat to though.

I love talking on the phone! Have talked to Mr M - I like it because I can tell if his quick wit and slightly flirty manner over texts translate into a conversation, where there isn't time to think in advance. And with him, that works. I've always been 'good on the phone' though...

Have arranged time and place for Wednesday's date with Mr M. Have a date for Saturday afternoon with Running Man.

Have a difficult meeting going on tomorrow, and have just started the period from hell (bloody perimenopause) - such a wonderful time to pop my online date cherry!

Born I agree that's the way to lessen or even cure pining but I still find it so hard because of the comparison thing but I keep trying to push myself a bit - hence singles event tmrw...

Agree waving my first dating foray post MrMusic was with a previously undeclared toryboy(!) Hence huge argument in pub but on the plus side it solved the problem of how to tell him I didn't want to see him again.. Though he didn't think diametrically opposed world views was a problem...

Where are you going, Waving? I would wear a short leather skirt, if I had one! What are you planning to wear with it?

As I'm meeting MrM after work, I just need to wear one of my nicer dresses (always wear dresses to work) ...

Hello again. So my first week of OLD has been interesting!! Lots of messages, some even worth chatting to but I've not arranged a date yet One I really like the look of and things have got very...flirty but he's younger and childless. I've asked about meeting up and he's said he will "after we've messaged a bit more". What's that all about?! I even told him that if its just virtual fun or a hook up he's after, then I probably wouldn't mind but that I want him to be upfront about it. He maintains he's definitely interested in something more yet won't meet. He's a twat isn't he??

It seems to be a bit of a theme. I have had one who wants to meet but on reflection, I'm not sure but I don't want to come across as a timewaster who's spent all night chatting to someone if I'm not interested. He's just very buff. Which looks lovely but I'm not sure I wouldn't feel even more wobbly than I am in comparison

So would any of you recommend any other sites? I'm on pof at the moment.

Good luck to all those going on dates. I'll be a wreck when (if!!) I do go on one. It's been 16 years

Tilly over 30 years quite a long time for me, too !

I'm on OK Cupid, but haven't used other sites, so that's a bit unhelpful! I quite like it.