Roll up, roll up, it's dating thread 96

[MyGastIsFlabbered]

We don't have get through these at speed....

The Rules

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin
3. Do no invest emotionally too soon
4. It's all BS until it actually happens
5. Trust your gut instinct
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you
8. If it's not fun- stop
9. Loo update is mandatory

10. No dating the thread 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches, and take from it what you will

Fuck it, I've joined a gym. I don't have DS this weekend and all of my friends are busy doing Valentines things with their husbands/partners so I intend to spend the whole time in the gym getting lovely and toned, rather than moping about at home re the lack of irons/dates.

Then after this weekend, I'm moving to Brighton and snaffling all of gasts leftovers!

I was messaging a guy on Tinder last night. He really needs to work on his banter as I felt like I was being interviewed... He asked if I had kids and I said yes, one son and he said something like "I hope his dad is still involved in his life" Bit personal, right? So, unmatched with him. It wasn't going anywhere anyway, too far away and very lacking in banter skills! Also matched with a lovely guy on Happn that lives too far away but was just travelling through. This happens a lot when you live in commuter land

slow Hi! I think how you handle it depends on whether you see it going anywhere or not. If not, probably best to let him down gently now. If so, and you just want to slow things down a bit, then tell him that. Suggest something fairly low key for this weekend.

I am just assuming when I meet the right guy I will know and I won't be scared to let them in and I'll end up naturally in a relationship.

I think you're right. It's worked for me

Waving so he was to have seen you tomorrow but now he's going to postpone you to go to Amsterdam!? That is a bit [whaaaaat?] when he's just back from Thailand!

He sounds like sometimes he needs to be in a relationship (needs it rather than wants it, for the support he gets) but then at other times, what he needs is to be free.

I don't think you would be unreasonable to pursue a few other suitors.

Hi everyone!! just a quickie! Enjoying reading all the progress with suitable irons! I have one too..but too early to name. Good banter, funny, he's very 'smart Alec', but not in a condescending way and likes it when I take piss out of him too. Wants to take me out asap (is prepared to travel to my area which is a first and Brownie point earnt), but I have a weeks holiday booked at the weekend so we'll see if he's prepared to wait, probably not - and all mine seem to fall at the first hurdle anyway so - too early to name.

Gast - what did that message actually mean, made no sense at all....I had to laugh though, not just once but twice? FFS

waving I'd be too, get some more irons on the go...(top tip - swipe constant right on Bumble, could be loads of hotties then of course you can unmatch the ones that you are not too keen on and send opener to all the others you like the look of.) I did that the other day and got a bit lost with all the irons and kind of gave up, conversations were boring and it was too much effort to reply to all of them!

Ok in the interests of our sanities, I've been able to check the Whatsapp status thing using my 'dust gathering' Bitchphone. 'Last online' means when they last looked at or scrolled through messages, opened up Whatsapp, or wrote a message, basically the last time they were in Whatsapp. So if it says online, he's either reading a message or writing a message. Thats as clear as mud, probably - sorry. If phone is just on, in another app, or on screensaver then it will not show as online. They have to be in Whatsapp.

Ah whatsapp an app that's been designed to drive us insane. I've changed my settings so I can't see when they were last on it has lowered my manic stalking

Oh and anyone remember OK cupids 'best face' ? Where you upload photos of yourself and people vote for which one shows you best? Well that's obviously been scrapped but there is this which is quite similar and good fun. I had completely wrong photos and have changed mine based on the report and my likes and interest has definitely gone up. Gain free credits by voting on other peoples photos rather than pay any fee.

Ooh, how do you do that catty? I so need that in my life!

prizey thanks for the photo link thing! I'm so going to try that.

Evening all

Have an interesting snippet to post then I'll catch up on thread.

So, I heard from french today. Lovely message saying that he had a lovely date last week, enjoyed every minute, but that there wasn't that spark so we should just leave things be. Totally fine with that and I agree. There was no tingle in the kiss goodnight. Messaged back to that effect.

HOWEVER. On the night in question. This guy was all over me. Flattery. Compliments. Effusive to overflowing in showering me with attention. 314 he also did the making future comments too soon (regarding a holiday). If I had wanted to go back to his and spend the night, then he was well up for it.

3 days later all that flattery and 'you're so stunning' has changed into 'there's no spark'. I can almost certainly guarantee you that this guy had no intention of wanting a LTR. He wanted a shag and he was prepared to throw whatever he could at it on the date in question to convert it to one.

I come back to one thing. The ones that are that little bit too smooth, too involved from the get go and a little OTT are the ones to avoid. The slow and steady, more grounded, less effusive ones are the ones to persevere with.

I don't think I'm ever having sex again!

Wow, from "you're so stunning" to "there's no spark" in three days! At least that wasn't over 6 weeks though Sassy. [crosseyed]

Hello everyone
I hope you don't mind me joining. I've lurked on here since I restarted old in December.
I had to post as I had exactly the same as Sassy with a guy all over me and then messaging to say 'no chemistry '. I agree that he wanted a shag and was annoyed he didn't get it.
Anyway, onwards and upwards. I have 3 irons currently. Gatwick who I haven't actually heard from since we arranged to meet again on Saturday. Prison officer who looks v v fit and more my age. Cute young hottie who lives about an hour away and doesn't drive....

Yes Waving met him Saturday before last. I thought it would be a ONS only but he's been in touch since even asking to meet again. Now I've agreed I haven't heard from him. Not actually that bothered.

I think you should leave it with Soho. He's a messer I'm afraid. But then I'm definitely no expert.

Right back to the thread

waving can I ask a question? If you start dating (and I know you have DC's and a job), how often do you realistically think you can see someone? You said twice a week with soho doesn't cut it. Would you bring someone home?
Even if I got serious with someone, I don't really see a situation where we get to see one another more than 2 times a week, especially in the first 4-6 months.

Also, re Soho going away. I'm totally chilled about these sorts of things. Normally because it's me who is the one called away for work. So I wouldn't be fussed. But I also wouldn't be exclusive so early on if this is what they were doing. To be honest I don't think it's about him being into you or not. I think this is all about him. He sounds a little bit self involved and mixed up to be honest.

314 yup. Yup. It just reaffirmed stuff I already knew. If they are too OTT early on, it's not good. But, these guys (if we're not careful) make the slower, calmer guys seem less interested in comparison. When in fact I think it is probably the total opposite.

bedtime welcome to the thread!

scarf are we expecting an update?

prizey thanks for that link, interesting!

born you can do what catty has described by going into privacy settings. It will also mean though that you cannot see when others have been online. It's a two way thing. scot has it turned on and I can see only when he is online or typing. Nothing else.
I'm not actually fussed about last one. I organise my life via whatsapp and assume everyone else does the same

red so what are your plans for valentines?

Hello all! Am back from a hilarious, sunny, drink-filled, girly weekend by the sea in espana. Back at work and now dealing with sick kids and freeeeezing cold weather.

Remain only on Match (no replies to any messages in ages) Bumble (all flakes and fakes) and ZOOSK (slim pickings). Even on Tinder none of my matches have got in touch. I still have MrIT on the go. I may meet up with him during half term.

Apart from that I am taking a bit of a break from OLD to 'look after myself' as my therapist would have it. Work and personal life have been a challenge. And life is just so busy.....

To that end I am eating a family pack of munchies and watching the last few episodes of Breaking Bad! (So old I know but when my marriage broke up in 2013 I never finished it!!)

I've read all the posts on this thread and no time to reply properly suffice it to say I am chuffed for red impressed by gast and sad for 314 although not too sad, since I know how she is spending her evening

So tonight it's just me, the munchies and Netflix!

I'll stay on here if that's ok?? At least until I meet MrIT....

Cheers

This photo thing is really interesting! The photo I usually use as my main one is not the top scorer, my second fave is (96% smart, apparently...) so have done some swapping about. The notes are funny. I have one that is clearly just one that someone snapped at a wedding when I look like I'm relaxed and happy so I use it but there are two notes along the lines of "would prefer a better pose"....

Fun to play with anyway!

Yay handys back!

Oh, and sorry, have worked out the WhatsApp thing, thank you! I had turned off read receipts but not last seen. I wonder how long that'll last before I turn it back on...probably when I next have a iron...so probably never...

Handy Glad you had a good holiday!

waving you really sound as though you are backing off Soho. So different to how you sounded last week when he was away...do you think it's because he's more available (Amsterdam notwithstanding) now, so less attractive? By the way, if you are swiping left on Tinder, it's no wonder you are not getting any matches...

Hi Handy! I'm dating the thread too, hold my hand while we watch the others go on fabulous and not so fabulous dates
Born glad you liked the photo thing, it's good fun isn't it? I too did some swapping around too, and the notes are the best bit....I got 'looks like a selfie - avoid them' and 'don't use filters'.....well excuse me!!
And waving I agree with born about the left swipes, it's kind of fundamental to swipe right for a match....please tell us you meant right not left