This is very generic, I know women cheat too. But for me I'm focussing on the few relationships I've had & friends of mine. I'm trying to understand the male brain, as I do think in general women realise the consequences and don't mess up as much as men.
My dp has had 2 previous episodes of emotional affair. I was checking phone bills online and not sure why but looked at his, 2 numbers txted regularly. I confronted and he denied then admitted flatterly and was stupid. Nothing ever happened. I believed him and we discussed and moved on. Oddly we can look back and laugh.
We have been together for 10 years. His previous relationships never lasted longer than a year. He has cried in the past and told me how important I am to him and values me.
We decided to have a night away for his birthday. During the evening we discussed his past EA. It was lighthearted and we looked back at how far we have come and still together. He put his hand on my leg and told me how much he loved me. We had a lovely night away and spent today going for a drive and publunch. I did notice at one point when I came back from the bathroom that he had his phone out and put it back in his pocket when he saw me. It was something in his face that I just thought that's odd.
This feeling stayed with me, I trusted he would never risk it again. But when we got home he went to the pub with mates and I checked the phone records. (we have same account). I can't explain why I felt I did this.
My hands shook as I saw a number texted all last nite while we were away and first thing this morning, up until we arrived home. I don't know how he did it but he did it.I rang the number and it was a female voice.That's all i needed to know. I have an odd feeling it was one of the numbers from previous EA, but i can't prove that. I don't know what was texted just saw the volume.
I didn't want a discussion, but I texted him an hour ago to tell him that I apologise for snooping but I just had a bad feeling and that I saw what he had done. He replied that it was nothing to worry about. But he was annoyed I had snooped. I flipped between thinking of course he's annoyed as he has been found out v he's annoyed I don't trust him.
I'm doubting myself, but I asked him not to come home and to stay with his parents tonight. I don't know if i'm being unreasonable and to trust him that there was nothing in this. I can't and wont' ring the number to ask.I wouldn't lower myself. He has texted that he can't believe i would bring this up again and not believe him. He has said it was a text from someone he didn't know and was wondering who it was by replying. I asked him why he didn't just show me and he said I would have thought he initiated. But he carried on today!
I know I have to ask him to leave. But I'm so disappointed that he would throw what we have away and to make me feel like an idiot thinking we were the perfect couple away with no worries.
I don't know what I'm asking but had to write this down as I just feel betrayed even though he is telling me i was wrong to check up on him and that it was nothing. I don't want to let go but I know I have to.don't i?