Can we have another 'worst internet date' thread?

[ScrambledEggAndToast]

I've got a couple, although mine are nowhere near as outrageous as some I've heard of.

One was 'Bridge Man'. He was really short and spent an hour (possibly more as I may have nodded off) talking about bridges.

Anther was a guy I met for coffee who, as soon I walked in, I knew we wouldn't be suited. Anyway, I was already sat down facing forwards, he sat in his chair, leaning back, legs crossed but the main thing was he never once made eye contact. Plus he only talked about himself.

Oh and, the other was when he suggested going for a drink. We went for a walk first (how romantic I thought) then he produced 1 can of Fanta for us to share. That was our drink

Thankfully, I have a lovely DP now so no more of this malarkey but love to hear all the tales. I did OLD for years!

Not me but my friend. Went on a date with a nice guy but no chemistry. He offered to drop her home as she lived just round the corner (neither had been drinking). They pulled up, he got her in a headlock, kissed her and then said "Oh good, I can change my fb status now." She legged it.

There was one. We arranged to meet for coffee. We shook hands. He invited me to his mums funeral the following day. It would be OK as he was doing the catering and would stop off for another pack of tea cakes and some ham.

Another was a nice looking guy who still lived with his parents. As I approached the venue, his mum was slicking down his hair with a bit of spit.

Ah those were the days!

Oh heck! I killed the thread!

Not mine but I witnessed this one.

Sat in spa reception. Man next to me on the sofa. Woman walks in and they do the whole 'hi are you xxx, yes oh lovely to meet you, you look the same as your pic etc, how was traffic blah blah blah'

They then go up to reception to pay and enter spa. He is in front pays and then says ok see you in there and goes through male changing room. She goes to go through female changing room but receptionist says 'oh you need to pay first'

Date woman says' oh i thought he paid' receptionist says 'no'. Date woman says oh i've left my purse in the car and kind of walks back and forth to the door then reception then door then reception. Then leaves to get her purse. My mate came out then and we followed her to the carpark. She then gets in her car and LEAVES!

I can't help but wondered what happened, had he said he would pay? didn't she have any money on her? How long did he sit in the spa before he realised she wasn't coming in!

Who goes to a spa on a first date? Literally the worst idea I have ever heard

I have laughed myself silly reading these! Please, please more!!

Place marking just in case there are any more!

So, brent, someone can lie about their age, height, money, living standards and accommodation, be utterly charmless, stingy, rude, smelly and/or downright pushy (for sex) but we are not to talk about them?

Because that is mean?

Not had any bad ones myself but a pub my best friend and I go to is clearly the tinder place of choice on a Sunday night. I forgot my phone a few weeks ago and so stood where I knew my friend would spot me. I was approached four times in the 15 minutes and asked if I was so and so...

Then sitting having our drinks we can obviously hear other people. This one couple, both quite attractive, but she did not shut up for four hours! Telling him all about how she liked clubbing but not to pull anymore and listing all the places she goes and the respective merits of each, slagging off all her work colleagues, discussing different dating apps and websites but she reassured him she only browsed those, telling him all about her friends car she planned to buy and so on and so on and so on? It was hilarious at one point she went to the ladies and he gave us the puppy dog eyes to save him.

Like my own private version of first dates!