Can we have another 'worst internet date' thread?

[ScrambledEggAndToast]

I've got a couple, although mine are nowhere near as outrageous as some I've heard of.

One was 'Bridge Man'. He was really short and spent an hour (possibly more as I may have nodded off) talking about bridges.

Anther was a guy I met for coffee who, as soon I walked in, I knew we wouldn't be suited. Anyway, I was already sat down facing forwards, he sat in his chair, leaning back, legs crossed but the main thing was he never once made eye contact. Plus he only talked about himself.

Oh and, the other was when he suggested going for a drink. We went for a walk first (how romantic I thought) then he produced 1 can of Fanta for us to share. That was our drink

Thankfully, I have a lovely DP now so no more of this malarkey but love to hear all the tales. I did OLD for years!

I was the cause of a bad date once! Well maybe more than once but this is the one that springs to mind. Nice guy, we didn't have much in common and there wasn't really a spark. He offered me a lift home (I was living back with my parents temporarily) and I accepted. But at that time I had just recently moved back to the area after a long time away, was a non driver myself and was a bit nervous. My parents' house was roughly ten minutes door to door from the bar we had gone to, but thanks to my AWFUL navigation due to the above factors, it took us about an hour. Excruciating. He gallantly texted me the next day saying I was lovely and he had enjoyed the night but he wasn't sure he was what I was looking for. Poor man!

the ear wiggler, i want to date him just for the comedy factor.

It isn't actually illegal not to be attractive

No, and these stories have nothing to do with physical attractiveness and are all about rudeness/weirdness/general misbehaviour

Queen I couldn't stop giggling. He was a genuinely nice guy, but I kept having to excuse myself.

This date actually happened the night before I messaged DP online, I went for it, messaging someone I would never ordinarily message (believed he was out of my league) and look what turned out. So in some ways, he was a good date

And how would I feel about someone writing about my DS in this way? Well I'd hope my children if they dated wouldn't lie tbh!

Sorry if this is TMI, but just thought of another one...

Date proceeded (unprompted) to talk about sexual fantasies and how he wanted me to crouch over his chest, cluck like a hen and "lay" Cadbury's creme eggs on him!!

It wasn't even Easter

These stories have nothing to do with physical attractiveness.

Some of them do. Reread them.

Or there was the one time I decided to break my usual pattern of dating someone older,and agreed to a date with someone a few years younger than me. Regretted it almost instantly. Told a racist joke, tried to snog me and put his hand up my top in public, and then dropped breeze block sized hints about coming back to mine. I had moved out by this time but I lied and told him I was living with my parents and they wouldn't allow it. He went into a huge rant about how his parents treated him like a baby and he HATED them, it was quite Kevin the teenager. Ended up abandoning him at the station with a hasty excuse.

Some of them do. Reread them

I have read them. The only issues with attractiveness are people who use massively misleading photos. Which is absolutely fair game to complain about.

Oh another one. The guy who described himself as a 'property developer' but had recently come out of prison and was currently living at his brother's house and renovating it! Reader, no surprise but I never saw him again!

I still think it is mean-spirited. Are you all perfect?

Me? Yep totally perfect!

No, not at all. But I am upfront. I firmly believe that there's someone out there for everyone but deceiving people isn't the way to find them. Lots of men will find me too wobbly. If I was internet dating (and this thread does not make it an appealing idea...) and I lied and said I was smaller then I'd be meeting the wrong people and wasting people's time.

Jesus, mean spirited? Another case of MN needing to write "lighthearted" in the title?

There's no names. No identifying factors. It's no different to retelling stories to girlfriends at the pub or on the phone.

Online dating can be shit. Anything to make you realise it's not you is helpful.

I'm not perfect. I'm sure a lot of the guys I dated could say something about me. But I never ever lied.

bluebelle im glad it worked out for u evetually!

Queen, so am I. I was on the dating sites on and off for three years. I came home and had a massive strop after ear wiggler. And DP was the result. He's a bloody legend to put up with me, believe me!

So if you are all so honest do you say "btw I might anonymously post what a crap date/how weird you were if I don't like you" in your profiles?

Nope but I also don't tell the girl in tesco I might anonymously post about her if she sneezes on my change or whatever. If there are no identifying features then I wouldn't expect to be told. It's no worse than talking to friends who are much more likely to know the man in question.

I am sure that if I was doing OLD then there's be stuff about me on Reddit or whatever because some dates just go wrong.

I've tried OD three times and all three dates were bad.
First guy, drank so much I had to carry him into his house.
Second guy bitched non stop about his ex wife.
Third guy had his weeks washing with him, asked me to drop him to the laundrette and offered me some acid as a trade.

I think brentcross lies about their size on their dating profile and a nerve has been hit.

I met a man that had told me he was a marine biologist, but it transpired on the date that he was a actually a car salesman who happened to have a fish tank at home. With no fish in because they kept dying. So he was doing some research (googling) into what he was doing wrong, and that research almost made him a marine biologist apparently. He was also nothing like his picture.

Also had ones that went on and on about their exes, they really don't seem to realise how off putting that is.

I had an OLD once with a guy who was absolutely bloomin gorgeous. Gorgeous, lovely, funny, charming. He was just great. We met in the afternoon for coffee but we got on so well that we ended up going for dinner and drinks and then clubbing and ended up getting wasted tipsy. The inevitable happened and I went home with him that night. God, it was the first date to end all dates. We got back to his house share (early 20s) and sat on his lap in his kitchen having a glass of wine when in walks his housemate/close friend who was also my ex. Who burst into tears on the spot.

Look at, I don't, amd it hasn't.

I also had an blind date with someone who I'd already had a date with! It was sooo embarrassing. We both acted like we'd never met each other before. Thankfully it was only a lunch date so I could escape back to work but I was mortified!

Rufus OMG! What a bloody shame.

The guy that I met in a pub, his whole topic of conversation was, himself.
He seemed a bit anxious and went to the loo twice in less than an hour.
I thought either drugs or nerves.
I made an excuse to leg it, he insisted on walking me to my car.
I told him that I didn't think there was a spark, he looked shocked and said he thought there was a definite spark, so much so he unzipped and pulled out a semi flaccid penis decked with a condom.

Wasn't even Easter lmao...