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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Suspect husband cheating with work colleague

110 replies

MrsP23 · 23/01/2016 05:49

I have suspected for a while now that dh has been having an emotional or even actual affair with someone from work. There have been various texts and things that I've seen that have made me come to this conclusion

I've confronted him about it and he denies it and plays it down.

Tonight he has been out on a work night out and sent her a message saying 'gutted......again!!!! But those are ur terms' know this in itself could relate to anything but coupled with others texts it just seems well not good.

I know it's very early/late but if anyone is out there what do u think?

TIA x

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MrsP23 · 23/01/2016 07:34

I have done thanks Nashville

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Fionajsd · 23/01/2016 07:35

What an awful situation , I would hang on as well and get more concrete proof if your able. Part of me would just want to rip his head off though x

MrsP23 · 23/01/2016 07:38

That's exactly what I want to do fionajsd 😁but dcs have just woken up and he is still asleep so just trying to be calm for the moment

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Only1scoop · 23/01/2016 07:38

It's the 'but those are your terms' that speak more to me.

I'd be suspicious. Monitor discreetly for a reply today.

PitPatKitKat · 23/01/2016 07:39

Sorry you're going through this Brew

I think you are right to hang fire for a bit. It will help to gather your thoughts, see what happens with a reply etc before you say anything. I don't mean forever, just until you feel settled enough in yourself to have that conversation.

MrsP23 · 23/01/2016 07:42

Exactly only1scoop if it had just been the gutted again bit then I may have thought he's lost at pool the beer was flat or he was kept back at work (kelsooo) but as u say it's the latter part that makes me think there is more to it.

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Flutterbutterfly · 23/01/2016 07:43

Hide his phone. Put it on silent and monitor his weekend messages. It can reappear Monday.
He lost it pissed or a child hid it!

rainbowstardrops · 23/01/2016 07:44

Definitely bide your time and see what else happens. Easier said than done I know.

Otherwise you'll ruin your one avenue of getting info - be it that he's messing around or that it's all totally innocent.

I too would want to confront him and rip his dick off but try your best to portray a calm front.

Hoping it all turns out to be nothing Flowers

MrsP23 · 23/01/2016 07:45

I'm just going to see how the day pans out pitpat to be honest. Part of me doesn't want to know or confront him but the stronger part of me needs to know

I think a good cup of tea and a hug from the dcs will settle me for now

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MrsP23 · 23/01/2016 07:46

I love ur style flutterbutterfly!!!!

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MrsP23 · 23/01/2016 07:47

Thanks rainbow drops. I hope it's nothing too but we will see I guess

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Christinayangstwistedsista · 23/01/2016 07:58

I would do what flutter suggested

PitPatKitKat · 23/01/2016 08:01

Cake hug Brew

MrsP23 · 23/01/2016 08:08

Haha pitpat that exactly what I'm sitting doing at this very moment x

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ThisIsStillFolkGirl · 23/01/2016 08:08

I would also do that.

It is the "but those are ur terms" that is the significant part, kelsoooo.

It's her terms he is gutted about and they are unlikely to have anything to do with him losing at pool or the boss making her work late!

PitPatKitKat · 23/01/2016 08:35

What kind of cake MrsP23? Wine for later x

Waltermittythesequel · 23/01/2016 08:41

You need to get that phone back.

Send yourself the messages and wait to see if he replies.

Kelsoooo · 23/01/2016 08:53

I missed that bit, I apologise. Waking night at work.

But it still could just mean something as innocent as "haha well you're gonna look a twat doing it but those were your terms"

I have a pretty much identical message on my phone from a male work colleague.....after I lost a competition and didn't' want to do the punishment.

MrsP23 · 23/01/2016 09:07

Thanks thisisskill!thats exactly what I'm worried about. If it is something as innocent as Kelsoo suggests then I will gladly put my hands up and admit I'm a crazy psycho phone checking looney!

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MrsP23 · 23/01/2016 09:08

Double Belgian chocolate cake. Kids are very miffed that they can't have it for breakfast too 😃 x the wine will definitely be later

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mrsfleming32 · 23/01/2016 09:12

Thinking of you Thanks

PitPatKitKat · 23/01/2016 09:18

Sounds good... Smile

LittleLegs25 · 23/01/2016 09:40

Just read the thread and that text does sound very incriminating but no doubt he will find a way to talk his way out of it and make it sound like its nothing. Good luck with operation phone hiding Grin

MrsP23 · 23/01/2016 09:43

Thank u mrs Fleming x

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MrsP23 · 23/01/2016 09:45

Little legs he probably will but if he doesn't tell me this time I will speak to her. I have her mobile number now and I'm past the point of worrying how it will effect dh at work

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