AIBU - boyfriend's night out?

[warmfuzzy2]

I'm not sure if I'm overreacting to a situation or not so would welcome any feedback even if it's to say yes I am!

Here is the story:

I've been seeing my boyfriend for about 4 months so still a fairly new relationship. We usually see each other 3/4 nights during the week; he lives about 40 minutes from me but we work in the same city so it's just evolved that he stays with me quite a bit as it's more convenient for his work plus he wants to see me of course! He is divorced and has his kids every third weekend, whom I've not met yet as we feel it's still too early but I see him most weekends.

However I didn't see him much over Christmas/New Year as I was away visiting my grown-up kids then when I came back he has his children. We were together for New Years eve and we went out with my family for a meal so it was my treat and New Years Day but then his work the next day called to see he had to go work away for 3 weeks.

While away he phoned everyday and we both said we missed each other lots. He said as soon as he was back he would take me out somewhere special to make up for being away and that we should spend more quality time together. He surprised me by coming back early at the start of this week and he has been staying at my flat, where coincidentally I cook his meals for him!

We were talking last night and he said oh by the way do you mind if I go out with my mate Saturday night?
My immediate response was oh that's ok but after thinking about it I told him this morning actually I'm a bit annoyed you promised to take me out and it's something I've really been looking forward to.

He immediately jumped down my throat and said God it's just one night! I said yes, but it's the poor timing i'm questioning this is his first weekend back and I just feel low on his priorities as I'm being blown off in favour of his friends. He apologised and said he had forgotten his promise which did NOT make me feel better. He offered to cancel his friend if i wanted him too. Well now i feel the whole quality time thing has just been ruined.
AIBU?

Leelu6 No he didn't come to my flat at all.

I don't think I "bailed" on him - I phoned to let him know I wasn't going to be home and made plans to see him tonight instead.
You may be right though I have problems with respecting him, I don't respect anyone who is so tight they are prepared to sponge off other people.

My problem with this is that this guy has shown you who he is, and that is a cocklodger. He has taken advantage of you in so many ways.

You really need some boundaries put in place. What on earth possessed you to give a man you'd been dating for four weeks the key to your home? That is completely and utterly mad. I know you thought you knew him, but you really didn't.

And then cooking for him all the time. The second time he had a meal at your place, he should have brought some food with him. And this has gone on for months now, hasn't it, and he still hasn't brought any food with him. And he knows you're paid less than he is - not that that makes a difference in that if you earned a lot more he should still have brought food round, but he knows that you don't earn a lot of money and he still takes advantage of you.

And the one time he throws a treat your way, he pulls it back saying he's going to offer that same treat to a friend. And you're not invited. Oh and he wants to stay the night after he's treated his friend.

Are you crazy?

Don't even attempt to change this man. He's shown you who he is. Pay attention!

You are clearly a lovely person and you deserve a lovely man to love you. Unfortunately this isn't him. This is a man who's charmed you and then taken advantage of you the whole time he's known you.

Dump him.

You are clearly a lovely person and you deserve a lovely man to love you

This is so true. Apart from his treatment of you, imagine having someone like this as your husband and cringing everytime you see him take, take, take with other people and not even offer anything in return.